Happy new year! :)
I know it's not an ideal new year post. But hear me out.
I was a hyper productive, hyper competitive chap in my previous job. Like most of us, I thrive in anxious environments, and I thrive in competition. I switched jobs because the anxiety became too much ( we all have our break points, right?). This job is not even close to "Anxiety". No defined quotas, they keep changing. The lead influx has dropped and dropped and became 1 discovery call in 2 weeks. After the layoff that happened recently, people have stopped taking anything seriously. But I have noticed - if my work is going great, everything else goes great! Everything from routine to health to relationship. I know it's not ideal, but that's how it is.
I didn't win the yearly awards. Did not make it to the winners' league (nominations) either. I'd agree I didn't give my 100%. I would bring some creativity, and my manager would discard it. I would bring some enthusiasm in my deals, and my manager would ask me to stick to the traditional ways. All this made me really really really lazy and I started cutting corners. I don't enjoy it, but that just happened.
Now as the famous saying goes - How we do one thing, is how we do everything else. That's precisely what has been happening. So I have been doing almost everything the same way - slouchy and lazy and not perfect. That frustration has been seeping in to other fronts as well.
After the SKO got done with, it just hit real bad that "what have I been doing!" I know it's a fleeting feeling maybe. But it's not a good feeling. Not that others win - the fact that I could have easily won, but I just didn't try as much.
I didn't really get the last week of the year off. We were all working. But the start of the year was "overwhelming" already! Of course not the year start I had anticipated, but I am letting myself 'feeeelllll it'.
Any tips on how I can pull back a little from this feeling of being overwhelmed and bounce back harder at work and hence, everything else?