The War Room
Question
Post

Am I being messed with, or am I reading too far into this?

Hey all,


I was told the join this forum and to utilize it as a serious sales tool to sure up some of my professional deficiencies. I was under the impression that this was a community full of professionals trading tricks and tips that would allow each user to become a more complete salesperson (yes I did know there would be some jabs thrown).


In an effort to add color context to further illustrate who I am as a person; I am a sales science fella that utilizes a series of datasets, streamlined tech stack practices, and unmatched organization to hit personal and team quotas. I am not the kind of person that has the verbal dexterity to turn on a dime... Simply put I don't have the gift of gab or a ton of social awareness and I joined this site to ask questions based on my social surroundings in the workplace (hip jargon, new trends, understanding my peers, ETC.).


In my office, they call me marbles... my colleagues tell me that it is because my big hazel eyes remind them of a marble. I fear I have inherited this nickname from the age-old saying "marbles in the mouth". I Include the above information to highlight that I do not understand when I am on the butt end of a joke.


In my last several posts I asked serious questions about a real-life situation in which I could tell

my perception of reality could be blurred. Based on advice that I received from this forum, I preemptively scheduled time with the VP of HR because everyone told me I was at risk of catching a sexual harassment case that could jeopardize a career that I worked hard to earn.


Long story short, the HR woman called my new lady colleague into her office with me. There were no ill feelings on her end and I was deemed of no wrongdoing in the eyes of HR. The crappy part is that when I later spoke to my new colleague, she told me that she did in fact ask me on a date, but would like for the office drama to die down before dipping our toes in these waters again.


My question is simple... I can take a joke, and I don't mind everyone making fun of me but should I take the advice I receive here as real sincere advice that I can apply to my professional career, or are we just out for a couple of chuckles?


As always thank you!


P.S. I'm sorry @funcoupons I didn't think I was calling you out, I thought we had fun back in forth going on. I didn't understand that you just don't like me... Eggs on my face for that one, I'm sorry I missed the mark.

🎈 Mentorship
17
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
Alright buddy, let me lay down some real talk for you right now.

I'm still unconvinced this isn't some pretty high level trolling, but in case it isn't let me spell it out for ya:

You posted your first thread, and almost everyone in here with centuries of combined social, romantic, and workplace experience told you you were off base and not to pursue this situation further. You decided to pursue it further, which is your business...live your life, man. But why would you expect to see positive responses in your second thread when the first thread went the way it did?

Frankly, this is a sales focused forum full of anonymous strangers, not exactly a place for individuals to sort out personal or relationship issues. If you only want serious and caring input from people who know you, I suggest talking to a trusted family member/friend with some life experience. 

I hope you can stick around and participate, but if jokes and ribbing are going to make you feel seriously sad you might consider using the thick skin that all of us in sales are required to have when participating here.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+5
SaaS Eater
I have a hard time thinking this is anything but world class trolling. This entire post is very well worded and thought out.  @Macdaddy knows how to communicate and loves the attention. No reason to makes 3 posts about this topic after getting crushed on the initial post unless you are just trying to stir the pot and get a ton of interaction on here.

If I am wrong (which is certainly possible) then use your friends for this type of advice. If you have followed this forum at all, there is about 25% good info being shared and 75% shit talk and off topic posts. 

This is a rant for another time thats been expressed by many others, but in my opinion these types of posts bring 0 value to the war room. 
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
Just want to say that you're quickly becoming one of my favourites. 
Show 2 more replies
sneakysnek
Politicker
+8
SDR
@funcoupons since you've been here longer than I have, would you say it's common for people to treat this place like Reddit? Because for a second while reading this post, I completely forgot where I was.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
Some people, yes.
Show 1 more replies
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Noted, thanks for your input. I guess I'm just confused because the sentiment portrayed to me on my first post was largely "Do not pursue this, act professionally." I did not make any moves whatsoever or make any assumptions about her interest level in me. My second post was merely asking the community if it was a date or if she was just picking my brain for my sales acumen. 

Overall, I am sorry for misusing the war room. I think I am catching on to the best practices, thank you for your continued guidance. Consider this saga put to bed.
Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
I still can't tell either @funcoupons
Show 1 more replies
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Goes both ways, bud. You make jokes, we respond with jokes. You cannot say that you haven’t used your “situation” as a punchline in other threads - or even in the original posts themselves. 

The last thing we want to do is to discourage people from posting or sharing experiences. However, if it’s a clear attention grab, expect to get pushback (hellloooooo small T-shirt post). 

This is why the sheer volume of off topic posts is exhausting. We primarily come here to get work tips. Sometimes a laugh as a bonus. 
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Hahaha I do admit, that was a funny post. I think that was def a joke.

However, I'm still thinking about the size @Opal privates... I might die with the image he painted in my head.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+9
Mid Market Manager
Your question and your motivation for your question are not in alignment. What you asked a group of pseudo-anonymous Type A people was "is she into me". You did this at a time when it's ever present in both mainstream media outlets and social forums that you can/should never assume- you don't have to be a socialite to understand that this was indeed the wrong place to seek an answer to that question. That is what friends are for. People who truly have your best interest at heart and know the nuances of your personality and personal life. 

I, too, came here for professional development and I've garnered quite a bit. I, too, have posted requesting help on navigating tough situations regarding how I'm personally interpreting my work environment. 

Beyond just the time/place, I think what you need to understand is what was wrong with your question in the first place. I'm sure you hear about the 'power dynamic' a lot when women are discussing  situations that either make them uncomfortable or straight-up put them (us) in danger. A new employee starting day 1 has zero power. An employee past week 1 has a "power" over that person simply by knowing where the building exits are located. For you to come on here and ask 'is she into me' after a quick interaction on her first day is exactly what women worry about daily. Even if she IS into you, wait until the power dynamic isn't so off balance to try and make your own judgement. Same goes with asking you out for drinks; in the first several weeks of working with someone, assume it is all professional unless EXPRESSLY stated. There's nothing wrong with being into someone you work with- there is something wrong with assuming a smile means they want to date you. 

ETA: Good on you for being proactive and going to HR. But I think that was unnecessary, and likely a result of taking what is said in the WR as gospel (and probably a touch of anxiety... no judgement here, takes one to know one!)
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Aw, thank you so much for this well-thought-out response! You broke everything down in such easily understandable terms.
goose
Politicker
+11
Sales Executive
First impressions are critical.  Especially in an anonymous forum like this.

You ever see Shawshank Redemption?  This reminds me of the scene when the new prisoners are brought to Shawshank for the first time and the inmates bet cigarettes on who they think will cry first.  Google it.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
I love that movie! Thanks for the reference. 
JC10X
Politicker
+8
Senior Sales Manager
This is a legitimate question. I've thought the same countless times so I just honestly try and be as helpful as I wish others were with me when starting my sales career.
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
Yeah no one deserves to be picked on in here, this is supposed to be a forum where advice is legit and has worked for other people. Some people are just unbelievable 
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
I mean I can take it, I thought many posts were in good fun. I just couldn't tell if I was actually harassing the girl. I followed everyone's advice and everyone was still telling me that I was an HR liability. 
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
Yeah but now looking over the comments they definitely didn’t look too serious, seems like they just wanted to make you sweat
Show 2 more replies
Whosaidit
Politicker
+6
Business Development Representative
Everyone’s gotta be the villain at some point
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
You either die a hero or live long enough to see yourself become the villain 
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Wait, am I the villain in this context with the whole hr thing?

Pl
PlanetMatt
Opinionated
+1
SDR
You sound like a well put together guy and an all around tremendous salesman! Don't let the haters get to you!
whissspy
Opinionated
+1
Commercial AE
Hard to reason with a guy who has “unmatched organization” with “streamlined tech stacks”. Probably skipping that happy hour convo.
DataSlangah
Politicker
+4
SAE
I am here for the gangbang!
GDO
Politicker
+7
BDM
I really think this is world class trolling.
RealEstateVeep
Politicker
+6
VP of Real Estate
Definitely a troll. This didn't happen.
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Hey man, everyone will eventually forget this saga. 

Ask related questions about sales and add funny comments. 'tisn't a bad forum full of bad people. It's knowledgeable, informative, self-reassuring and something to relate to after a good and a bad day at work. 

You'll be fine, and get those wins in ay! 
DrunkenArt
Politicker
+6
Sales Associate
If you look at the top right hand corner of your screen (desktop version) the guidelines are there with no hate speech being one of them. Advice is supposed to be helpful from a sales/life perspective. 
DataSlangah
Politicker
+4
SAE
Thanks for the reminder, Karen!
DrunkenArt
Politicker
+6
Sales Associate
Was not supposed to come across as a "Karen" type post, so my apologies on that. Moreso as a reminder to be friendly in the WR, sorry to get you triggered. 
7
Has anyone taken any sales training from the Sandler Sales System? My company is putting me through their program right now, and it seems like they say the same thing over and over again...?
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