oldcloser

💀

An entirely new level of unforced fuckery.

The org, 5 year old Digital Marketing shop with 3 SaaS products, all with proven PMF. Hired in Dec 23. Role: VP Sales - GTM responsibility over newest solution primarily, but also the other 2 that were launched but limping. Top level task? Convert company from marketing services to SaaS and fetch SaaS multiple for exit. "President of Sales" fired in Nov 23, shit performance, revenue flatline for 3 years. Founder sold the first bunch in first year of business. No growth since.

As of December 23:

Newest solution MRR : $4k, 2 customers on 50% off beta type deals
# of AEs: 0 # of SDRs 0
Onboarding/training material: 0
Sales collateral: 0
Growth plan: 0
Comp plans: 0
Revenue plan: 0
Org chart: 0
Playbooks: 0
CS Churn: Not sure <---
Marketing: Unintelligible <---
Total MRR: $1.2M <---

As of August 24:

46 Deals Closed/Won
$248,700 New Logo MRR for $2,984,000 NN ARR
New solution MRR : $145k, 34 NN Logos on 12-month contracts
12 New Marketing Services contracts
$297,300 in current active pipeline
# of AEs: 1 # of SDRs 1
Onboarding/training material: Complete
Sales collateral: Full library
Growth plan: Complete
Comp plans: Complete
Revenue plan: Complete for 24
Org chart: Complete for 24 and 25 with growth
CS Churn: Not sure, but large AF <---
Marketing: Unintelligible- I will post the website in next post <---
Total MRR: $1.2M <--- See a problem here?

C-Suite conclusion: Growth not fast enough, revert to founder led sales model. Keep VP Sales, cut comp by 50%, he's tracking 400k, put him on call reports. Dump Hubspot for homegrown CRM. Throw daily meetings at 2PM in his time zone for training. Founder hires 1 rookie and 1 best friend. Takes any inbound. Blows the first 2 opps we've seen in 6 months.

This level of fucking incompetence is one I could not have imagined in my wildest. I told them I wasn't doing it, that I was going to take my accrued PTO and think through this. Fired while on vacation. No severance even though my agreement had $21k if terminated without cause.

Dan Goodman engaged. Will post follow-up. Stay thirsty.

🧢 Sales Management

🤒 C-Suite Stupidity

32

62 comments

Sort by:

CuriousFox

WR Officer

11

🦊

EX-FUCKING-CUSE me??? What's this dudes name? If Dan can't come thru I FUCKING WILL

oldcloser

Arsonist

7

💀

I shall hold his name back for now because it wouldn’t be right to anon troll Richard DeLancey or his company.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

5

🦊

Wtf why are there so many of those names on LinkedIn I don't know who to troll

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

I will guide you. I will.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

3

🦊

👀🍿

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

If you had an alt LinkedIn account…

CuriousFox

WR Officer

2

🦊

Got it. Ambien kicking in strong wwwweeeeeeeeee

unclespacejam

Politicker

1

ur dad’s brother

TELL US MORE

lowhangersalesbanger

Executive

9

Account Executive

What the actual FUCK dude?!? That is bonkers. Was there an annual bonus coming due for you because it sounds like they are trying to fuck you out of that and try and take and run with what you have built for them.
I'm sorry to hear this happened to you. Good luck with the lawsuit.

oldcloser

Arsonist

13

💀

Termination without cause money. They got no cause. I will not only get my money. But there will be irreparable harm done. I know all of their customers.

LMHandle7

Executive

2

Sales Director

Then when you land on your feet their MRR is toast

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Weirdest turn of events since. Client #1 heard I was gone. Called. Wants my services. I sent the ask. Should know early next week. That'l be the first victim. :)

unclespacejam

Politicker

8

ur dad’s brother

LET
THESE
MOTHER
FUCKERS
BURN

NAME THEM
AND WE RIDE AT DAWN

oldcloser

Arsonist

6

💀

I don’t want to cause Dan more problems. But when that’s resolved, we open floodgates

unclespacejam

Politicker

6

ur dad’s brother

Hell fucking yeah dog

CuriousFox

WR Officer

6

🦊

WE RIDE AT DAWN UNC

unclespacejam

Politicker

4

ur dad’s brother

SHOUT OUT DAN GOODMAN

DONT LET THE BASTARDS GET U DOWN OC

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

I have the keys to their LinkedIn account still. I can’t post without them knowing it was me. Wide open to suggestions though.

unclespacejam

Politicker

2

ur dad’s brother

You definitely should get photoshop warmed up and ready for that shit

sketchysales

Politicker

3

Sales Manager

This is completely insane. Some people live with their heads so far up their own arses you can hardly comprehend it

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

After the ashes of that company have blown to the corners of the earth once we are done with them, I await your novel.

I know you’ll come out ahead, but fuck those dudes.

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Amen sistah. And thank you

Charizard

Opinionated

2

Business Like Things

What a fucking joke. These founders and their echo chambers of imbeciles. Get your $60k with Dan and find something better man. Your numbers speak for themselves.

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

Thanks homie. I like the echo chamber analogy. One convincing the other that total insanity makes sense.

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

2

☕️

Fuck those clowns.

ChumpChange

Politicker

2

Channel Manager

Some sage advice from one of my mentors. It's better to admit you opened the wrong door than stay in the wrong room. Cut your losses, regroup, refocus, plan and execute.

jefe

Arsonist

2

🍁

I KEPT WAITING FOR A PUNCHLINE AND IT NEVER CAME.

WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

A head-spinner indeed.

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

I'm about ready to throw hands.

@unclespacejam & I can flank 'em from the north.

oldcloser

Arsonist

3

💀

First, ima get muh money. Then, ima make it hurt. Never experienced this kind of sodomy before. I mean… that I didn’t ask for. They have a nervous target vertical. I’ve been in it for 10 years and know many of them. I know the influential ones well. It will take so little to make sure they’re rendered irrelevant.

I’ve got the RCMP hotline. Appreciate the support, warriors.

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

You absolutely gotta take of you and yours first, but let us know... We ready.

And that's what I don't understand.. It's pretty clear you've been around awhile and still know a ton of people. Deals have been sourced through those connections.

This guy is a fool.

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

Yeah- very bad move. I’m normally a live and learn type. Don’t like to carry hostility. This one? 3 phone calls, and the honest story. They’ll never sell anything again.

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

First order of business was to get the word “rectal” in their LI about page.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

3

🦊

DUDE I FOUND IT
Btw found this last night but the location threw me off the scent 🦊

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

Rectum?! OC damn near killed ‘em!!

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

have at it :)

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

@CuriousFox hahaha me too.

@oldcloser that’s fucking GOLD

Pachacuti

Politicker

1

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

Wow man. That sucks.

Job hunting is a pain right now. Good luck.

And stick it to them on that severance!

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Hard as I can.

Charizard

Opinionated

1

Business Like Things

I went through the same thing. Took a company with no revenue, no systems, no team.

Brought in revenue to make us profitable. Put systems in place. Hired a dope team. Then they laid us off and brought on AMs to manage the deals and clients I brought in because they were cheaper and skirted around bonus and commish payouts. I thought i was the only person dealing with this til I came to bravado. I’m. It grinding for another ceo or founder again. I’m big companies or working for myself/large equity in something moving forward.

You’re going to be just fine. Run with Dan.

oldcloser

Arsonist

2

💀

That’s a pretty close match to this one. This went down on Tuesday. Yesterday client #1 calls- tells me he heard I was gone. Asked if I’d consider moving in with him. Asked me to write the job description. Seems it’ll work out. If/when it does, first order of business is to take the whole thing away from the currently unsuspecting provider.

Appreciate the good words. I’m pissed, not unemployable. I do this kind of revenue acrobatics wherever I go. Not to self-toot, but I’ll land.

Charizard

Opinionated

1

Business Like Things

Good things happen to good people. Keep on rocking my dude

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Yessir ✊

Gasty

Notable Contributor

1

War Room Community Manager

This is so shit.
I am pretty sure you’re going to crush them but still this happening makes you think.

These numbers are great!!

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Not the least bit ashamed of what I did there. They’ll miss the rev.

Goomba

Opinionated

1

Director of Shitposts

Wow. These are goofy greasy fucks.

This is why Y combinator can’t keep shitting out dickhead kids without any education in biz despite some bullshit ass ivy and eng knowledge.

Salt

Executive

1

Sales Leader

Looks eerily familiar. I think I am soon heading your way, Oldcloser.

pirate

Big Shot

1

Account Executive

Wow that’s insane. I feel like nothing is enough for companies anymore

BigShrimpin

Politicker

1

Account executive

and from the ashes oldercloser will be born

ChumpChange

Politicker

1

Channel Manager

This is absolutely awful but don't let this define your career. There's countless idiots out there that can see beyond Step 2 but think they have it all figured out. It's better to admit you opened the wrong door than stay in the wrong room. I hope you get what you earned and more.

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Much appreciated. Yeah, I’ve been at this too long to internalize this kind of external bullshit. So far, the Dan Goodman process seems pretty bulletproof. I’ll report back when there’s a result. Otherwise, I’ve got solid pipe on the next opp. This will be in the rear view mirror in short order. Just gotta work the process.

LMHandle7

Executive

1

Sales Director

Fuckery it is bro, keep us all posted!

RelationshipMaker

Opinionated

1

Head of Sales

Absolute pelicans. I hope revenge is swift. I simply cannot stand people that do this, they deserve the worst that you can throw at them. Good luck.

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

Somehow the visual that comes with pelicans fits really well. And yes, It’s going to sting a bit. I just got hired by their biggest customer. It’s almost poetic. 👍

RelationshipMaker

Opinionated

1

Head of Sales

Congratulations on the new gig. Truly happy for you. Says something about your sales style and ability.

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

🙏🏻 much appreciated

YoureMuted

Executive

1

Regional Sales Director

Saw a post from Dan Goodman today. Was it yours? “Caleb?”

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Ha! I saw that too. Not me but I wonder if he enhances content a bit. It’s really close.

cw95

Politicker

1

Head of SDR

Sounds similar to what I just went through...all going swell then C-level get involved and it takes a turn for the worst!

oldcloser

Arsonist

1

💀

Where they get their ideas 🤷🏻‍♂️

-2

Marketing Strategist

Looking for financial growth?Check out and the potential for high returns.Don't miss out on this game-changing opportunity!https://app.fintechcatalysts.com/ref/moore You can join the group link using this linkhttps://t.me/+q5kfZnmxzvwyZDk5

oldcloser

Arsonist

0

💀

@gasty we got one here

Bravado is a community of trusted sales professionals endorsed by their customers.

Products

The War Room Jobs Tech Sales U

For employers

Hire sales talent Executive search

Company

About Us How It Works Blog Bug Bounty

Contact

© 2024 Bravado Inc. All rights reserved.

Privacy Policy Legal and Privacy Center Sales Jobs