long story short I changed companies and got a $25k bump. I also cashed out what little I had in a 401k. I paid off all my credit cards but have been spending like a mother fucker. at least I haven't had a Coke problem in a couple years. (haha that was pre-sales actually) like I'm not stressed about paying rent anymore, or not having enough to eat, but still. I've been feeling extra depressed lately, just eating out, drinking, and spending money to try and feel better. I'm so angry, my entire life I've been so broke, I grew up so poor we went to food banks and went winters without heat. I should be happy and I'm not. and to be honest I love the new job. the firm I'm at is great, I love working from home, I love not having someone hovering over me. I just feel like if I don't go out to meet a client everyday I'm sad. I feel like none of my clients want anything right now (because I'm in lighting sales in basically a consultant for architects and lighting designers) and they may be using our product but I still feel like I'm not doing enough.