LightingLeader

Specification Sales

Valued Contributor

Blowing through cash WAY too quick

long story short I changed companies and got a $25k bump. I also cashed out what little I had in a 401k. I paid off all my credit cards but have been spending like a mother fucker. at least I haven't had a Coke problem in a couple years. (haha that was pre-sales actually) like I'm not stressed about paying rent anymore, or not having enough to eat, but still. I've been feeling extra depressed lately, just eating out, drinking, and spending money to try and feel better. I'm so angry, my entire life I've been so broke, I grew up so poor we went to food banks and went winters without heat. I should be happy and I'm not. and to be honest I love the new job. the firm I'm at is great, I love working from home, I love not having someone hovering over me. I just feel like if I don't go out to meet a client everyday I'm sad. I feel like none of my clients want anything right now (because I'm in lighting sales in basically a consultant for architects and lighting designers) and they may be using our product but I still feel like I'm not doing enough.

🙏 Mental Wellness

22

46 comments

Sort by:

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

21

☕️

Work isn’t the only thing in life. Find a hobby that is interesting yet difficult to master. Takes classes. Find fellow humans pursuing that craft, and dive in. Find something that makes you tick so that slumps at work are a blip.

Also, reinvest back whatever you took out of your 401k. Never touch it again.

LightingLeader

Politicker

1

Specification Sales

I only touched it because I was leaving the job and it was only like $3k

braintank

Politicker

5

Enterprise Account Executive

Compound interest bro! Put it back and forget about it.

LightingLeader

Politicker

1

Specification Sales

I used it to pay off credit cards. Would rather keep them paid off

Aurelius

Member

2

SDR

It's good you got your debt settled man. I once had some debt issues and I was fucked, I was lucky enough to have my brother help out and my credit score didn't get dinged by luck.

LightingLeader

Politicker

0

Specification Sales

Oh yeah my credit score was like 580. I grew up very poor and have been in constant debt

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

5

☕️

That’s what you had to do in the moment, but now you can pay yourself back.

I feel you on the growing up poor. I had a 550 credit score after my first credit card and a charge off while still in college.

Filth

Politicker

9

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Get a pet or become a mentor to a kid - great ways to feel connected and needed. Also, start taking random walks with some relaxing music and just try and turn off the brain.

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

+1 for pets.

My pup changed my life <3

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

I remember the post about your pupper. Tbh I want one so bad. But my place is so small, and I travel for work pretty much every 2 weeks at this point.

Plus.. idk if I could do right by the dog. I’m not the dad type. Very much a Lone Ranger.

Decisions man…

jefe

Arsonist

1

🍁

He's the fucking best :) and about 5 feet from me right now.

I'd be more worried about the latter than the former... We've got my boy (who turned one a week ago!), along with my fiancée's chihuahua and chi/pomeranian, plus 2 cats in a new one bedroom.

It works surprisingly well, and there sin't as much chaos as one would think.

You might be surprised by the change in yourself though, I'm more dad-like and protective than I ever imagined. BUT I also have retired parents nearby for free dog sitting - both during the day and for trips.

Decisions indeed....

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

Holy Jesus that’s a stable of animals. Lol I don’t have anyone who would dog-sit for me.

I have an aunt in the GTA who reminded me what it feels like to have a family after like 5 years- not even exaggerating, I can’t describe the feeling in words. But she’d never take an animal in.

Aside from that I don’t have anyone else on the continent I call family, so I’d have to find a pro service

jefe

Arsonist

1

🍁

Heh yea it's quite the ménagerie, but definitely keeps us active and engaged - never a dull moment.

Those can get pricey, but could be worth it. Only you can make that call though!

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

Wait a second, are you serious? This all fits into a 1B? 1+1 or old school 1 Bedroom?

I have a 1 bedroom, no den, and it’s absolutely perfect for me. Spacious, without any excess. Every bit of room is accounted for. I could definitely “fit” a small pup, but then there are the life considerations to think about.

But I’m shocked you guys are able to make that work. That’s amazing

jefe

Arsonist

2

🍁

Standard 1B in a building that was completed in 2020, but we have a ton of storage including a walk-in closet, and I'm very organized and efficiency-minded.

A den would be better, but it all works. Another animal would ruin that balance.. even a cat - would need another tree and another litterbox.

Every inch counts, and it actually looks pretty damn good too.

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

That’s amazing man. My place is the other way around 15+ years old. Huge rooms, no storage to speak of. Tiny entrance closet, tiny bedroom closet, limited cabinets in the bedroom. But as a solosapien, it’s perfect for me.

The space is in the actual living areas which is where I want it. I adore my place haha

jefe

Arsonist

1

🍁

Nice, there's a distinct benefit to those! Like you probably have a proper home office....

My floorplan was thoughtfully laid out, and I have more clothes/shoes than makes sense so it's the best for us. Plus all 5 animals eat different food (sigh) so we definitely need it.

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

HAHAHA, 5 different foods. That’s so cute.

Lol, my home office is the corner of my living room. My couch is 2m away, my tv is 0.5m away. So no, not quite. But absolutely no complaints. I planned the space before I bought the place and it totally works. Everything is kind of shoulder to shoulder, but I never feel cluttered or cramped or anything. It’s not huge, I pace around when I’m agitated or thinking deeply, and there isn’t far to go, but as a living home it’s beyond perfect.

Bedroom is big enough for a dresser, Q bed, side table, lamp, dressing area, and in going to grab a rower/bench/small weight set. The bench and rower can lean against the walls and there’s plenty of space for all of it.

Got my CEO to advance commish from 3 accounts so I have about 14k coming before the govt picks my pocket.

Gonna buy all the pieces I need to finish furnishing, and my place is almost 100% complete!

jefe

Arsonist

1

🍁

Awesome, sounds like a good setup! And well played with that advance.

And one is over weight, then the specific food for lifestages and size. It's a whole thing...

looper1010

Celebrated Contributor

5

Solutions Specialist

Pls put your money back in your 401k and don't touch it until retirement. Pls create an emergency fund and look into a Roth IRA. After you've done that, give yourself a pat on the back and eat a nice meal. I've been poor and reacted the opposite. I began to "supersave" to the point of hoarding because I was so scared of poverty. The point I'm making is moderation. It's ok to enjoy things - you deserve it but have a limit.

How do you feel about volunteering? It could give you a another perspective on life and appreciate what you have. You'll still be going out and meeting ppl. There are all sorts of volunteering opportunities. They aren't all soup kitchens and shelters. You can also volunteer your skills pro bono or become a teacher in your skillet.

Depression is hard and doesn't magically go away but it can be worked on. Things will get better. And with your work ethic, you will find a way to crush this too. Hang in there and stay strong <3!

LightingLeader

Politicker

1

Specification Sales

It was only $3k I used it to pay off credit cards so I’m not stressed about it. I actually run a little non-profit and do some volunteer stuff, that doesn’t bring me a lot of joy

looper1010

Celebrated Contributor

5

Solutions Specialist

Have you spoken to a therapist? It's helped me and others. Would you be open to that?

LightingLeader

Politicker

1

Specification Sales

Oh I actually meant DOES bring me a lot of joy haha. But yeah I probably need to go back to therapy lmao

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

We could all use therapy..

looper1010

Celebrated Contributor

2

Solutions Specialist

Glad that was a typo! I'm happy that it helps. But yeah, therapy helped a lot, especially when sales is such a mental game. I hope you find one that works for you!

jefe

Arsonist

3

🍁

Definitely key to keep the body and mind right.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

4

🦊

You like grilling? Cooking? Take a few classes. Get involved in something fun. 🍹

LightingLeader

Politicker

1

Specification Sales

I miss grilling so much 😫 damn city life

Pachacuti

Politicker

4

They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy

Do you do anything else in your life to hang with other people? I do group mountain bike rides weekly (when I'm in town) and other similar things. And while it may not be for everyone, I go to church and am involved with the youth in it. Its scientifically proven that people who go to church are generally happier.

Are there any charities you'd like to help or anything else which takes your focus off yourself? Remote work is lonely and that seems to be your issue - too much time alone. Find something which you believe in outside yourself.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

4

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Hey - recognizing that work isn't filling all your personal needs is not a bad thing. Honestly, work is only part of your life. I'll agree with others that having something else to focus your time on is vital. Life is composed of a variety of things, but if all your time and attention is solely on one thing (work), and that one thing isn't compelling, then things can seem bleak and negative. Hobbies that you can do alone (art, carpentry, reading, bicycling, hiking) AND that you can do in a group (playing on a team or coaching a youth group; camping with friends; golf) are going to help provide other things to plan for and to occupy time.

Pets help, if you can have them where you are. If you're not sure, maybe you can foster first, as it's always needed, and if it doesn't work out, it's temporary.

Growing up poor can lead to some fun (!) habits when you have $$ and don't really need to worry, but I can't stress enough how continuing to budget even when it doesn't seem like you need to will help as well.

Finally, make sure you give yourself things to look forward to, both short term and long term. Like travel? Give yourself a short weekend trip coming up in the next couple of weeks, and plan that big summer vacation break as well. Prefer to connect with friends? Plan that poker night.

Best of luck to you - it can be very hard to stay motivated when you aren't feeling it.

Aurelius

Member

2

SDR

Hang in there man, what works for me in mental wellness is physical activity, and writing down some short-term personal goals that make you feel good when you hit them. (These goals could be related to whatever you like to do) I like to add km's to my weekly cycling.

LightingLeader

Politicker

1

Specification Sales

Yeah I worked out and took myself out to eat for a nice and healthy meal and I’m still sad haha

Aurelius

Member

1

SDR

Keep doing the self-care man, if you ever want to vent hit me up by DM.

LightingLeader

Politicker

0

Specification Sales

Is this a joke because we don’t have DMs yet? Haha

Aurelius

Member

1

SDR

oh, no. Not a joke. I just didn't realize. I'm new to Bravado. Is there any way I can give you my LinkedIn without doxing myself or my company?

LightingLeader

Politicker

0

Specification Sales

Yeah I don’t think so, sadly

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

2

Officer of ♥️

Count your blessings. Appreciate those around. Look how far you’ve come. Give back to those who were once in your position. Think about what you actually want in life now that you can fucking breathe a little. Go from survive to thrive

Or blow and strippers

TennisandSales

Politicker

2

Head Of Sales

yikes man. I feel you on a few levels.

I also grew up poor, had 0 when I graduated college, started in commission only and life fucking sucked.

Now I make over $100k base.....the money problmes are not there anymore, but that doesn mean life is perfect.

Other things are still hard.

try to find other things to find satisfaction in.

are you a sports guy? what other hobbies can you pour your self into to find gratification in/

SaaSam

Politicker

2

Account Executive

I've been in your exact same position before man and grew up with the same financial issues. One thing that is going to help you a lot is to start saving instead of spending. For me, having a decent nest egg or emergency fund to fall back on took care of a ton of stress. Just knowing that if something happened I would be okay financially made me a lot happier. Plus there is a huge boost in pride when I look at my bank account, knowing that it was all me.

The second thing that helped me a lot was moving to the country for a while. I was working remotely anyways so I decided I was going to get away from people. Spent a year just outside a small town about 45 minutes from Puerto Vallarta. House was next to a river and there was a thick jungle-covered mountain a stone's throw from my window. Helped me to spend less money and get into a better mental state.

AessK

Politicker

2

SDR

Appreciate your story and I resonate with your background. I grew up poor, moved 10+ times in my childhood, went through an eviction as a teenager, didn't have consistent food, etc.

I definitely know the feeling of being extra depressed/empty after achieving financial milestones. The beauty of sales is that it can give you the ability to be financially abundant but it also exposes your relationship with money/yourself. You've been chasing the idea of getting out of debt, having food on the table, buying things for yourself, ect. your whole life. It sounds like you're still attached to money and you're creating a self-destructive "fuck-it-all blow all the cash" habit to get back into debt - because being in debt/being low on money is familiar to you. You're putting your self-worth into OTHER people/clients. If you feel like none of your clients want anything right now, it might be you giving off a needy vibe. It sounds like there's a lot of subconscious trauma you need to work through. I highly recommend meditation and self-reflection to let go of your attachment to money. Definitely easier said than done but it's helped me out tremendously.

Like everyone else recommended in this thread, find another "purpose", a hobby outside of work, and move your body/get fit.

TheNegotiator

Arsonist

2

VP of Sales

Welcome to the slump. I’m making more money than ever and I’m just not happy.

I’m there too, right now. My expenditure is split on a need/want basis, but it’s just as unhealthy. I’m hemorrhaging cash, and because my income took a fat bump about 6 months ago, I don’t even think about it. I spend indiscriminately and there’s always more money on the way.

It can’t last. And that’s my advice. The bad habits can’t last, and the good habits have to come eventually. You have to make a conscious change.

For me, I made the decision to go back to school and do my Law degree. I have 3-4K in home improvement projects left to handle, but after that I’m going to invest in joining a club for networking, martial arts lessons and education.

Spend the money constructively. I did the other thing, and it didn’t make me happy. I only just pulled my head out of my ass. It takes time. Don’t beat yourself up, but remember, you owe it to yourself to do better. I came from nothing as well, and you/I didn’t struggle this much to not truly get above what’s held us down our whole lives. Live to a higher standard. Make yourself proud of yourself again.

1nbatopshotfan

Politicker

2

Sales

Check your company benefits, they likely have therapy options. Highly highly recommend.

I was in a bit of a bad spot mentally, this summer and reached out to a therapist. Absolute game changer.

NotCreativeEnough

Big Shot

1

Professional Day Ruiner

get addicted to investing. blow that cash on rental properties and index funds instead. you get the same thrill as buying something but long term it works so much better for you.

It's a tough mindset shift to get into. But every time you go to spend money on something random, throw it into a brokerage account instead of buying that thing. Doing it in small increments like that makes it feel easier and slowly makes that mindset shift for you. Especially once you start seeing returns

Coffeesforclosers

Notable Contributor

1

Director Sales and Market Development

Always pay yourself first, at least 10% every paycheck should be put into either 401k, high interest savings, market, etc. I have 401k's from all my previous roles, roll that shit over to the next, never tart over.

Growing up poor and then having money is awesome, find a way to balance, also give some time back to the needy, i volunteer at 3 organization close to my heart and hardships growing up. Remember, you have to give it to keep it!

Seethiswatch

1

Senior Sales Executive

For me what helped - getting to the gym in the morning to get the stress and anxiety out and getting the pup!

cmoney15

Good Citizen

1

Director of Business Development

Felt like this once moved into Director role last year and saw huge bump in comp. Take two weeks off from drinking. Reset the system and mind.

Bravado is a community of trusted sales professionals endorsed by their customers.

Products

The War Room Jobs Salary Guide Tech Sales U

Company

About Us How It Works Blog Bug Bounty

Contact

© 2024 Bravado Inc. All rights reserved.

Privacy Policy Legal and Privacy Center Sales Jobs

If you are hired as a contract sales rep by a Bravado customer, we may ask you to prove access to the employee email account provided to you by that customer. This data will be shared with customers to track your sales productivity; customers can use this data to confirm you meet the minimum activity requirements to pay out your ramp stipend and commission.