Telehealth_2the_Moon

Director of Business Development

Notable Contributor

Celebrated Contributor

Arsonist

+12

Corporate Speak Bingo - Submissions Needed

Dear War Room,

I'm going to be putting together some Corporate Lingo Bingo Cards to make our next couple of All Hands meetings more entertaining. I'm looking for suggestions on what words need to be included.

So therefore go ahead and list your favorite corporate speak words and phrases. The shit you can't go more than 30 minutes without hearing at work but never hear it anywhere else. Think of things along the lines of "take this offline".

Please check to see if your suggestion has already been posted in the comments before adding it. If you see it give it an upvote and add to the comment chain, but try to keep it all in line. I don't want to be cleaning up after you all.

Bestest,

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39 comments

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E_Money

Big Shot

💰

Synergy

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

Once we synergize we will be better aligned to provide whole-focused solutions throughout our vertical

E_Money

Big Shot

💰

Yes, really looking for some best-in-class complete worldview ideas here people. BIG PICTURE

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Let's put the brakes on this. (Um no, that doesn't get me paid bc you're too lazy to do your part.)

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

All gas no breaks, everyone knows that!

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

-If it's not in SFDC it didn't happen.
-Per my last email.
-Let's unpack this.
-Think outside the box.

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

- Annoying platitude
- Snarky email warrior
- I think you're confused
- Those ideas suck but lets keep trying

That's what I hear/read when I see the above at work. Good ones!

E_Money

Big Shot

💰

Multithreading

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

I like how this one most of the time means "doing more than the bare minimum in my outreach" but it just sounds so much cooler to be multithreading

E_Money

Big Shot

💰

Per my last email

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

This one is corporate speak for "can you read, you fucking dumbass?"

Thatsalesdude

Politicker

Account Executive

"fuck"

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

That will make it on the Sales Team All Hands bingo card but probably would be too low probability to put it on the company wide one.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

What's closing this month?

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

What have you done for me lately? What ya got cooking?

Notmyrealname

Politicker

Thanks for reaching out

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

Hey, people weren't supposed to use things that I say a lot, that's mean

Tres

Politicker

Account Executive

Let's circle back on that

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

Ooh this one's good, because you can easily lead from that into "closing the loop" and boom now your lingo is synergizing

butwhy

Politicker

Solutions Engineer

Let's doubleclick on that, open the kimono, boil the ocean, blazingly fast speeds, break silos, synergy, trim the fat, and North Star Metric.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

"Open the kimono" grosses me out

butwhy

Politicker

Solutions Engineer

Me too - my rep says it constantly and I finally asked him to cut that shit out because it is gross.

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

2nd this, that's just weird in a few ways. It's sexual so that's already getting iffy on a customer facing call, but it just has this really leering vibe.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I picture a fat pale man with a hairy belly like Fat Bastard....it's a no from me

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Yes, it's gross. Really gross. HR level gross.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

My mind goes to women/Geishas and it's immediately "you did not really want to go the sexist route, did you? Seriously?"

TennisandSales

Politicker

Head Of Sales

"where are we at with this X (deal, project,deck ect.)

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

"We need to lean in on..."

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

I want to snap the necks of those that say this shit.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

We'd lose half our leadership.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

You need new leadership.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Thought leadership.

Telehealth_2the_Moon

Notable Contributor

Director of Business Development

Does it help if I promise to share the end results with the War Room?

TheIncarceration

Politicker

SDR Manager

"We're building the plane as we fly it"

Justatitle

Big Shot

Account Executive

Alignment
Forecast
Market Conditions

JDialz

Politicker

Chief Operating Officer

Touch point

Oldskool

Personal Narrative

Senior AE

I am going to need to circle back on that, because at the end of the day we need to flesh out our KPIs internally, so send me some information. This was set up as a discovery call post BDR qualification.

Oldskool

Personal Narrative

Senior AE

@CuriousFox LOL, yes! Let's unpack this... Rage inducing 3 word phrase, that is.

Oldskool

Personal Narrative

Senior AE

Newbie here. Why can't you upvote the comments in the thread?

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