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Dating at work?

You find a girl/guy attractive at your workplace and want to make a move.


What would you do?


How tf do you ask someone out/ show you're interested without being creepy. Afterall it's the same workplace!


Would love to hear some stories and how people could have avoided being creepy from female sellers out here too!

๐Ÿฑ Off-Topic
๐Ÿ˜“ Advice
36
paddy
Arsonist
+9
Account Executive
Don't piss where you eat is my advice
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
Pretty sound.ย 

Piss at others lol
SiliconBBQ
Politicker
+2
Account Executive
No fishing off the company pier.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
Not a good idea. There are thousands of singles in your area waiting to meet you (or so said the popups back in 2005,) why play with fire at work?ย 
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
That's definitely clickbaity lol.ย 

I'm so glad this is what most people think. And I was thinking that I'm abnormal.ย 
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
Does anyone else find that people tend to be way more attracted to your work persona vs the person you are outside of work?

Iโ€™m not exactly sure what that says about me but I feel like โ€œconfident presenter guyโ€ isnโ€™t my default. Itโ€™s something I turn on at work. The longer I turn it on, the more mentally exhausting it isโ€ฆย 
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
We present the most polished versions of ourselves at work, so it makes sense that people would be more attracted to the confident, well kept, friendly, and well spoken version of us vs the version of us that sits at home in underwear eating a bag of chips for dinner.
SA
SADNES5
Politicker
+6
Business Development
you gotta remove that camera from my living room...
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
But do we always not put on a persona in whatever setting we are? Regardless of work.ย 

Even if you date someone you met online, you are gonna put your best forward.ย 

I feel it's different pieces of you that come together in different situations and makes you, "YOU".ย 
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
Kahluapons
True enough.ย 
Justatitle
Politicker
+7
Senior AE
I have never dated at work for 1 reason: its likely to inevitably end in a break-up and god forbid that you or your S/O become each other's boss...
paddy
Arsonist
+9
Account Executive
This happened to someone I know. No bueno
Justatitle
Politicker
+7
Senior AE
Exactly Paddy exactly, seen some things and don't want to experience themย 
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
On the contrary - I've heard stories of couples who could have never met if not for their workplace.ย 
But yea I feel ya.ย 
Justatitle
Politicker
+7
Senior AE
Yes and it can work as you allude to but seen more bad than good.
Show 2 more replies
poweredbycaffeine
Politicker
+7
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
Y'all should talk:ย  https://bravado.co/war-room/posts/online-dating-colleague-match
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
love this thread
SaaSguy
Politicker
+5
Account Executive
Don't do it if you value your job. Simple.
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
How about a remote structure?
Kinonez
Arsonist
+8
Team Lead
I would advice against it. There are more negative outcomes than positive ones, as as salespeople she all know what that means.ย 

Donโ€™t play the numbers game that way!
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
So, never approach a person you like eh? Even if mixed signals?
Kinonez
Arsonist
+8
Team Lead
Not if I work with them.ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Needer of Life Alert
That could get tricky pretty fast. ๐Ÿค”
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
I really wonder how those "successful couples out of the office" make it.ย 
TheDeplorable
Politicker
+7
AE
Not worth it lol would never tryย 

The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
haha. Feel ya
CadenceCombat
Tycoon
+13
Account Executive
I just made a post on this theme but specifically about encountering colleagues in online dating apps.
Hornberger1
Good Citizen
Manager Demand Generation
Never never never never do it.

Story: did it and basically ruined my aspirations for the company. Just hated going to the same place of work (used to be thrilling), people "took sides", shit sucked and then I left shortly after for another (better) gig.

So maybe do it if you dont like the place!
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
Sorry to hear that. Although curious, did the relationship work out?
Hornberger1
Good Citizen
Manager Demand Generation
No, we broke it off while I still worked there. Hence losing my passion for the place and leaving eventuallyย 
Show 1 more replies
Sgt_Trollingham
Valued Contributor
+5
Business Development Director
I would agree with most people saying "Don't sh*t where you eat etc." With one BIG caveat... if you are in very separate roles/departments and have little to no overlap in your actual day to day AND the company seems to be ok with that.ย 

Some things to consider:

Look to see if there are other couples at work... how was that handled?

Do you need to inform HR (should something come to fruition)?

Would your co-workers/managers etc. treat either of you differently?

Would you mind seeing that person ALL THE TIME?ย 

At the beginning it might seem great, but I really look forward to seeing my wife after being in the office... once we started working from home, it took a period of adjustment because we had an excess of time together- too much of a good thing I guess.
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
Those are great points.ย 

SalesVEEP
Opinionated
+3
VP of Sales
Honestly - don't do it. Through and through it's just such a bad idea (unless you work with Margot Robbie, Sarah Bolger or Saoirse Ronan)
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
So you take that risk for Margot eh?ย 

I would too lol.ย 
sneakysnek
Politicker
+8
SDR
0/10. Not worth the risk. Sounds like a rejection at best case, and a trip to HR in worst case. It's like hitting on someone at the gym when they're just trying to get a lift in, or worse, cornering someone at their job as a patron because you know they have to give "service with a smile" and can't be rude to you.

Don't do it.
SlideDecksAreUseless
Fire Starter
+2
AE
from personal experience, it's usually not worth it in the long run. however I think our old company lawyer said like 10% of couples meet from work?ย 

at the end of the day having a relationship w/ somebody you work with can be really distracting.ย 
MontBlanc
Notable Contributor
+13
Senior Account Executive
Just hookup at the Christmas party and move on
Kinonez
Arsonist
+8
Team Lead
Hahah this made me laugh. I still think itโ€™s risky though, but love the feedback xD
goheelsgoamerica
Sales Manager
I never shit where I eatย 

highly recommend never hooking up or starting anything romantic with someone you work with. It isnโ€™t worth the headache on the other sideย 
Bl
Blue_Turtle
Good Citizen
SDR
Iโ€™ve never seen it end as well as people think. Not worth it.
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
Any such stories?
anitasale
Business Development Representative
Never ends well.
BuffaloChickenWingCLT
Good Citizen
Team Lead
Makes the lunch room very awkward... trust me. I didn't learn my lesson the first 2 times.
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
2 times eh? I feel ya
Lambda
Politicker
+6
Sales Consultant
if you met before you worked together then have at it, or after one of you leaves, otherwise i wouldnt recommend it
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
Different departments?
Dr.TruffleShuffle
Good Citizen
Inbound Team Lead
Donโ€™t sleep with someone at work unless youโ€™re okay waking up next to her for the rest of your life.
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
That's something which is least likely to be sure about.ย 
looper1010
Celebrated Contributor
+12
Account Executive
I wouldn't do it.ย  Don't sh*t where you eat.ย  Unnecessary drama.
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
Never
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
ever ever? Even if it's the best of the best?
beachNsales
Politicker
+3
Account Executive
If you want a shitty work experience do it. If you want a good one, dont
sa
sales4lyfe
MM Account Executive
I've done it - not that big of a deal. Was a lot of fun keeping it a secret. We ended up dating and still parted ways as friends.
NoSuperhero
Politicker
+6
BDR
I've done it before, and to be honest it wasn't bad but I've seen way too much drama because of it to which I'd recommend no to do it. But hey Jim and Pam's story does happen often.
Domino21
Old School Bravo
Enterprise Sales @ Microsoft
I actually think each situation is different. Met my GF of 4 years at work. She left, then I left, then I brought her to the company I left for! But it was definitely tumultuous at the company we met, and we had to step on eggshells for a few months.
whathaveyousoldtomorrow
Opinionated
+2
Account Executive
Rarely turns out well. Godspeedย 
TheRealVladimirPutin
Opinionated
+5
AE
You say to yourself "That's fucking stupid, especially in this political environment. I'm not going to do anything because I'm not a moron" and go about your day.

Use Tinder, mate.ย 
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