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Dating in the workplace…

I go on lots of dates, I have zero issues meeting people. If I am being honest though, I compare them all to this one woman I work with. I pine for her like Kevin Arnold did for Winnie Cooper. 

My workplace does not have a policy against co-workers dating, but I do and so does she. We have great chemistry, but she is not a first move maker, so if I don't do it, it's not getting done. 

I'm also looking to bounce to another opp ASAP, so do I wait until then or just make the move now, rules be damned? Trying to avoid weirdness etc. on the off chance she says no or it doesn't work out. 

Full disclosure: This year is my first year in corpo America (self employed for 17 years prior), so as rudimentary as this situation may seem to you (it is not to me), please keep this in mind seasoned vets of the WR. 
🧠 Advice
♥️ Love
🏄 Personal Life
16
GrizzleMcThornBody
Arsonist
+12
EVP - RevOps
Don't date your co-workers. How many times a week do we have to say this?

If she has a policy against dating her co-workers, THAT'S YOU. Women are required to be nice to their male co-workers. Don't confuse that with you having access to her at a bar or at a social setting. She HAS to be near you during your time at work, she isn't choosing to have you there. When she was hired, did she say, "Does ultraman work here?" She took the job to pay her bills and shit.

Don't make a move. Get a new job if you feel so strongly for her and ask her out. See if you two have any real chemistry outside of work and if she says no, well, that's the risk you take.
ultraman
Tycoon
+9
Shepherd
I have the same policy, just seemed like best practices…hopefully I’ll be bouncing to greener pastures and the opportunity to date her is a nice bonus of that.
Diablo
Politicker
+7
AE
+1. Agree with this 100%
FamilyTruckster
Politicker
+9
Exec Director, Major Accounts
To be safe, wait until you switch companies. 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Wait until after you bounce. Don't date people you work with. 
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
+6
Senior Director, Enterprise Technology
A measurable percentage of marriages happen between people who met at work (can’t recall the number). So even though people may think it’s taboo, it’s pretty common. You’re spending 8-10 hours a day with people, every day. Attraction happens. 

Shoot your shot, while letting her know that you’re leaving soon. 
Cr
Cristles
Contributor
+2
Account Executive
Are you only looking for other work because then you can date her?
ultraman
Tycoon
+9
Shepherd
Haha…NO. I want to make more money and put up with less shit, this would be a bonus.
Cr
Cristles
Contributor
+2
Account Executive
Ah okay! Then if you feel a good  chemistry talk to her about it. She could just act nice to you because you are coworkers. Women that work in sales are dangerous people haha. (I have tons of respect for them)
Show 7 more replies
sugardaddy
Politicker
+10
Head Of Sales
Indeed with others. Wait until you are at the new comp. Good luck, have fun!
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
+7
Manager, Sales
I met my fiancé at work and would do it all over again. We were on the same team and he sat 10 feet away from me. We didn’t get super serious until he left the company, but starting to date while working together was oddly helpful. You saw lots of different sides of the person within a single day.
ultraman
Tycoon
+9
Shepherd
Then you hear stories like this 🤔
TheNegotiator
Politicker
+7
VP of Sales
Ask her out. If you’re leaving, and that’s already confirmed, fuck everything else. Ask her out.
.
Make that part of the convo, so she knows you respect her boundaries. “I’m leaving anyway, so I wanted to take the opp to talk to you while I still see you…” and convey that you’ll keep it professional if the answer is no.
.
If you’re staying, perhaps reconsider. If the chemistry is there I’d say shoot your shot, but that’s muddy water. Don’t let the PC modern world and it’s bullshit cloud your judgment. Just make sure you think it through before you do anything, because if you get it wrong it could have pretty severe fall out.
TheOverTaker
Politicker
+8
Account Executive
Had a strong rule about this too....broke it and I'm on year 3 of the best relationship I've ever been in...we also don't work together anymore and that has made it way better 
Wellss
Tycoon
+10
Channel sales
100% wait until you bounce. The last time I had plans to leave my company, I ended up staying there for an additional 6 months because I wasn't finding a good new position. So it'd suck to start dating with plans to leave, things go south & then you're still stuck there 
E_Money
Politicker
+11
Outbound Sales Manager- US
I mean I would say don't date your coworkers but.... I dated mine and now we are happily married so... follow your heart? idk 
dr
draculina
Fire Starter
+2
process development specialist
don't hookup where you vlookup is the greatest advice i've ever heard, and it applies here. when you bounce, if you still feel strongly, ask her out and see how it goes. 
Flippinghubs
Opinionated
+7
Account Executive
Dont shit where you eat 
SweetLeaf
Fire Starter
+2
Relationship Manager
I legit met my husband at work - shoot your shot, but respect the woman if she says no.
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