Dear Friday, Fuck You

In the spirit of bullshit corporate box checking, this Friday can go fuck itself because:

✅ Have an 8am “team meeting” because leaders of said “team” want to do a quick run down of the presentation we’re doing for management as a “practice exercise”.

✅ said “team” leaders don’t even show up, and they’re the only ones with the slide deck

✅ try to recover the day, make some sweet moves into big rev accounts you personally brought into the firm but take time to develop. Start to feel better.

✅ Get ghosted by another firm after they’ve made you a verbal offer which you promised to honor. Good thing you just made moves on your sweet accounts so you can keep rolling

✅Have a 1:1 with your “boss” (because the one who hired you that was awesome quit, so now you’re stuck with this asshole).

✅Tell them about all the great shit you did this week - including a serious meeting to take over the accounts for 8 companies ($3M deal), got your prospects JOBS (I mean, what better way to close than to make them money amirite?), explain why you aren’t pushing for a particular close because the company can’t deliver on it and it lost you that $2M account but it’s okay, you got all this other cool shit lined up!

✅ “boss” hands you a PIP. Says it’s “to help me”. I continuously ask “what should I do differently?”. Avoids any sort of answer. Simply that your cool shit isn’t good enough. PIP says I haven’t met the activity and revenue threshold.

✅Apparently the millions I signed don’t count, but other employees have written ZERO IN YEARS. also that they lost my biggest account and it was THEIR FAULT.

✅Had a serious illness which required multiple hospitalizations so my “activity” was down BECAUSE I WAS LITERALLY UNDER ANESTHESIA

✅I do triple the amount of work of my peers

✅I attend every bullshit internal corporate meeting

✅I give 100% effort every day, and check every damned box

✅am now completely, and utterly fucked.

SO FUCK YOU FRIDAY