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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.

Since it is very much low hanging fruit, please limit things to two Gong rep posts per week tyvm.


I figure since we are ALL on LinkedIn, and we all shit on it to varying degrees, we could compile a mass thread to highlight some of the annoying, idiotic, or just plain dumb shit we see on that platform.


Inspired by this post here that sadly crossed my feed, where rather than share the post by the person, this asshat screenshot it and shared it as his own so HE could get the engagement on it.


He failed miserably, but still: https://ibb.co/cYRFGr3


Also note, you can upload things anonymously/for free on https://imgbb.com/ so please utilize that if you plan to include a screenshot.


Happy Wednesday, my savages!

🐱 Off-Topic
😂 Sales Humor
35
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
My personal favourite are the "life coaches" that try and connect with me. You go to their profile and they've worked a smattering of entry level jobs for less than a year each but somehow feel qualified to charge people to tell them how to be successful ?????

I guess those who can't do really do end up teaching.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Ahhh yes the career SDR that fell up because they're wannabe LI influencers and are now somehow AE's that, you guessed it, still annoy tf outta you
DrSmallprint
Politicker
+3
Account Executive
Two of the biggest screw ups I have ever known are life coaches. 

My theory is that they learn some of the basic skills later in life. lack of self awareness combined with a dash of narcissism brings them to the false conclusion that they have figured out this "magic secret" that others simply don't know. The reality is that most of us figure this stuff out relatively early in life and they are brining no value to the table. 

It's like a guy who's been divorced 6 times giving marriage advice because he thinks he knows what not to do. 
januszgzre
Contributor
+2
Head of SDR
The cringiest I've seen this week is people who are in jobs for six months and then leave with a post "the last 6 months have been so magical, and I'm forever grateful"...
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Ok this one was pretty good 🤣
SaaSyBee
Politicker
+5
Sales Content Writer
HAHAHAHA I've done that. Not 6 months in, but still. Oof. Thanks for holding up the mirror.
BigCheese
Notorious Answer
+14
Agency Recruiter | Coors Knight
Speaking of low-hanging fruit, I'll start with Dan Price. Enough said.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
I doubt he even has fruit that hangs.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
That's a given, but I'll allow it.

FlintIronstag
Notorious Answer
+8
Chief Marketing Officer
#DanTheStan I used to like him but it’s gotten old. Ok we get it, you paid everyone $75,000. Now shut the fuck up.
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LegacySoftware
Opinionated
+4
Global Business Development
You want to see some dumb shit on LinkedIn? Follow Oil & Gas people. They think LI has turned into Facebook, and are religiously spreading misinformation, their kids scoring a goal at soccer practice, and calling people out for their political affiliations. 

So glad to be out of that industry. I unfollowed 99% of everyone I had been "prospecting" 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Ohhh man a good friend works in Oil & Gas and I've had convos with him as well lol. Wild space.
LegacySoftware
Opinionated
+4
Global Business Development
the industry itself acts as its own lobbyist platform. scratch and clawing with any dumb source to debunk common-sense facts. All of them are living in the 90s. 
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takethemeeting
Opinionated
+4
SDR
Why is this spot on! I sold into energy, oil & gas companies and those people repost shit your misinformed aunt would on Facebook
spoderman
Arsonist
+10
Friendly Neighborhood Spoderman
You're just jealous you don't work at Gong, is that it? 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I'd rather walk barefoot over broken glass
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Even beyond LI you cant stop preaching Gong, the cult is real
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I mean... It IS two steps shy of a cult so
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funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u

This comment was removed

TheNegotiator
Politicker
+7
VP of Sales
There’s no such thing a bad publicity
Show 2 more replies
Mothy
Opinionated
+3
SDR
It’s really bad when I can’t tell if this account is satirical or not.
Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
NGL, every time I comment on LI I'm terrified of ending up on a thread like this
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Let that guide you in your LinkedIn journey, my friend
Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
Haha, I don't think I'll end up here, but damn that would suck
paddy
WR Officer
+11
Account Executive
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Do you not respect the megamind thoughts and teachings of your Lord and Savior Gary V?!?!
spoderman
Arsonist
+10
Friendly Neighborhood Spoderman
That man brought us the gift of eating ass, shame on you. 
0PercentCloseRate
Arsonist
+6
Lord Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned
krnshrm
Big Shot
+4
Managing Director
I personally think he preaches failure rather than success. I've seen sales people burn themselves out eating ass for the sake of eating ass.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
That dude didn't give the link at all? What a tool.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
RIGHT?! "Nash dis my engagement now" and the engagement was SHIT
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
I just don't get how the CEO of a major tech platform is this fucking stupid.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I mean... Do you REALLY not get it?
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
Ok, fine, you got me. I GET IT.
Show 5 more replies
FeedTheKids
Politicker
+3
Solutions Consultant
I don't get how you are surprised....... lol 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Fake shock maybe?

WolfOfDalalStreet
Fire Starter
+1
SDR
Jed Mahrle, Josh Braun, Sam Nelson - these all post the same content taking turns. So damn annoying!

All the suggestions that they give are fancy but never practical.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
As you can see, Josh inspired this thread.
cavanova
Opinionated
+3
AE selling Construction Software
i've met Sam. nice guy, lots of creative ideas.
Bd
BdubSE
Opinionated
+3
Global Manager - Sales Enablement
Sam is better than the rest for sure. Nice dude!
0PercentCloseRate
Arsonist
+6
Lord Forgive Me, For I Have Sinned
reddit.com/r/linkedinlunatics
WolfOfDalalStreet
Fire Starter
+1
SDR
Also are people from Lemlist. I dont know how can they be so dumb. Just dont know how.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I mean at least they aren't Gong reps?
VincentAdultman
Opinionated
+3
Enterprise Account Executive
It's the RevGenius 'Leaders/Gurus' that get me.

They all love to spout sales advice but have worked a max of 1 year as SDRs across 3 companies. 

Also, that Benjamin D. guy is a loser - Prides himself on telling people who cold call him 'I'm ok considering my mother died last night' 

WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Oh yeah fuck that dude. Like it's so annoying lol. I saw his post for the first time last week and cringed

ColdCall
Valued Contributor
+5
Business Development Manager
First time I've seen him mentioned here- anyone done his training? 

Always suspicious of sales trainers, if you're so good why not just sell? 
FlintIronstag
Notorious Answer
+8
Chief Marketing Officer
I get a lot spam in my inbox. I hate the ambiguous “we’re in similar industries so I figured we should connect.” And I go look at their page and they’re a marketing consultant or something and trying to sell me shit. I don’t know what LinkedIn has become. I see more stuff that belongs on Facebook than I should. I see more people acting like becoming an MBA candidate at an online school is worth thanking their God over. I see too much clout chasing, virtue signaling and flat lies on people’s posts. LinkedIn isn’t what it used to be. It’s hard to enjoy it sometimes because it’s become something other than what it’s original intention was. Sorry for yelling.
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Especially when people post “My daughter said I have my AirPods in but the ones with the cord.” Seems like a Facebook status update to me 👀
spoderman
Arsonist
+10
Friendly Neighborhood Spoderman
Someone put that on LinkedIn? That's literally a facebook post. 
Show 4 more replies
HappyGilmore
Politicker
+7
Account Executive
I just came across this one from someone I went to college with, who went from starting in sales to a full on work 2 hours a week marketing guy. He just started a new job and is already showing up on my LinkedIn.  https://ibb.co/zJGnWL5
TheRealVladimirPutin
Opinionated
+5
AE
Walls of text no one's gonna read. Off to a great start as a typical SaaS marketer. 
TennisandSales
Catalyst
+5
Enterprise Account Executive
hahaha i thought the same thing. as SOON as i see paragraphs ....im done. Bye. 
TophDawg
Catalyst
+2
Account Executive
hahaha used to work with that guy, could tell right away by the "fun marketing guy" title. he's a character. 
HappyGilmore
Politicker
+7
Account Executive
Hahah holy shit what a small world, he truly is a character, perfect for marketing tbh.
Sniper
Opinionated
+3
Enterprise Account Executive
I particularly love the cute ADP Presidents Club Qualifier posts 2 weeks after the fiscal has ended. Just Guzzling the Kool Aid
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Slurp up!
TheRealVladimirPutin
Opinionated
+5
AE
Just came across this one from a CEO/founder listed as the only employee:

"I HIRED SOMEONE WITHOUT ANY EXPERIENCE. They asked me - WHY? They told me - IT'S NOT GONNA WORK They said - HE'LL BE A HELL Today, he's the BEST. My business grew because of him. People just need a chance, trust the attitude, not the skills."

And that person's name... was Albert Einstein
SaaSyBee
Politicker
+5
Sales Content Writer
Someone copied an infographic my company created, added their own logo and copyright (?!), and then tagged me in it. 

They also used the exact copy from my post. Of course.

(Their post got like 6 likes so too bad so sad for them I guess.)
AssistantToTheRegional
Politicker
+5
Enterprise Account Executive
Saw someone advocating for burnout as the best way to know your limitations
Wolfof7thStreet
Opinionated
+5
AE
People who post that they are getting married on LinkedIn 
LanceDollarz
Opinionated
+3
CEO
Too much to list lol
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
+7
Manager, Sales
Ironically it’s my own coworkers who continuously share the same absolutely tragic marketing material on the same day so all you can see is “Name and 6 others shared this post”.
MorShark
Notorious Answer
+8
Sales Engineer
I never spent much time on linkedin in the past, but my current job has me there often.  When did it become Facebook 2?
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
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