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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.

And we are BACK with the second installment of DoLI! Again, since it is very much low hanging fruit, please limit things to two Gong rep posts per week tyvm!


I figure since we are ALL on LinkedIn, and we all shit on it to varying degrees, we could compile a mass thread to highlight some of the annoying, idiotic, or just plain dumb shit we see on that platform.


I bring you two shining examples of LinkedIn dumbassery, shot and chaser, starting with this guy who is trying to coin the term "Genuinfluencer":


And for the chaser... Here's someone who is listing "Fangirl experience" on her resume. What the fuck is up with Gen Z.


Also note, you can upload things anonymously/for free onย https://imgbb.com/ย so please utilize that if you plan to include a screenshot.


Happy Thursday, my savages

๐Ÿฑ Off-Topic
๐Ÿ˜‚ Sales Humor
26
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
Lately:ย 

Weight loss posts...wtf. Nobody wants to see you in a bikini, Janice. Save it for BoomerBook.

People who write stories the length of fucking War and Peace to just come to the absolutely titillatingย conclusion of "just be kind" or "Be a nice HR goblin and give a job opportunity to a one legged alligator with gold teeth today."

Finally, I've been seeing a lot of posts applauding working moms. Look, moms are all well and good but there are dozens of people I son on here on a daily basis and I don't see any shout outs. I'm offended.
sahil
Notable Contributor
+15
Deepak Chopra of Sales
"tons of people I son on here on a daily basis"

LOL ๐Ÿ’€๐Ÿ’€
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
No lies detected....
NoSuperhero
Politicker
+7
BDR
What typed LI algorithm are you guys on?? I only get podcast stuff hahahahaha
nomdeguerre
Valued Contributor
+5
VP of Channel Partner Sales
"HR Goblin" LOL
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
You ever think we just need one day a year where all crime goes unpunished? Say for like a period of 12 hours or so?ย 

Maybe call it the punishing or like the purge or something?ย 
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
Paddy Day.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
St. Paddy Day*
Show 6 more replies
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
What in the good lord is Natalie Held doing here. I mean, come on, you're young enough that Mom and Dad are definitely on LinkedIn and now they're explaining this to all of their colleagues. This isn't Brazzers.com, young lady.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Subscribe to her OnlyFans today!
Hambalang
Politicker
+4
Enterprise SDR
Iโ€™ve started seeing people with the job title โ€œContent Creator at Onlyfansโ€ ๐Ÿ˜‚โ˜ ๏ธ
Show 1 more replies
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
spoderman
Arsonist
+10
Friendly Neighborhood Spoderman
I just threw up my lunch on my desk, damn you Gong. I demand reparation's.ย 
CoorsKing
WR Officer
+13
King of the Coors Knights
May have to put down my Coors light for this one, going to need both hands. @WCKย you see the pressure washer? Itโ€™s not where I left it
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I had to use it on one of my interns, Iโ€™ll bring it. Shall I fill it with everclear?
Show 1 more replies
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Bring me my tar and feathers, post haste.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
Iโ€™m gonna refer back to this post on my next diet so I can totally lose my appetite when needed.ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
He looks sad. ๐Ÿ’”
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
WHY?! If you were a Gong customer this would be an almost acceptable post....but as a Gong employee? Fuck.
paddy
WR Officer
+11
Account Executive
"It's your civic duty to buy from Gong."
funcoupons
WR Officer
+12
that's queen coups to u
โ€œItโ€™s irresponsible to not have Gong.โ€

For fuck sakes. I need a Kahlua IV.ย 
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
@BrodyMagnoliaย , forgot you. Welcome aboard!ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Y'all gonna make me login to LinkedIn and see aren't you. ๐Ÿ˜’
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Save your eyes
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
IT'S A TRAP
GrizzleMcThornBody
Arsonist
+12
EVP - RevOps
oh boy
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Oh boy indeed

Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
Gen Z seems to have gone full echo chamber. It seems like they've never been told "no, that's a bad idea"
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
We need to bring back public beatings
Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
I'm not advocating for bullying, but we're about 8-10 years past a huge anti-bullying push.
Show 5 more replies
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Now, now - us millennials JUST stopped getting shit on.ย 
BlueJays2591
Politicker
+8
Business Development Manager
Fangirl experience? Maybe I'm too old but what the hell is that?
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
It's legit what you think.... They're major fans of "Everything from Harry Styles to Harry Potter". ๐Ÿคฎย 
BlueJays2591
Politicker
+8
Business Development Manager
I need to increase my investments so I can retire early and not deal with these types of people.
Sunbunny31
Politicker
+5
Sales Executive
She has a couple hundred followers!ย  Looks like you might not be missing much after all.
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
So are @paddy and @funcoupons Kahlua fangirls? Am I doing this right?
Show 1 more replies
Gyro25
Politicker
+7
BDR - Enterprise and Partnerships
Just when I thought LinkedIn couldn't become more cringe..ย 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
But wait, there's more!
LordBusiness
Politicker
+8
Chief Revenue Officer
My worst fear is now ending up in this thread.
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
Just had the strangest LinkedIn interaction possible.

This profile sends me a connection request, and I had a few common connections that all have a similar SaaS leader background so I accepted:ย  https://uk.linkedin.com/in/jayla-noah-b4b267202

She then sends me 15 messages about crypto, and when I reply and say I am not interested in learning about her brokerage she says "Great." and blocks me....wtf.

If you want to have a strange Friday, go for it.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
May I interest you in some shitcoin, PBC?
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
May I please have an order of 3MM XRP?
Show 1 more replies
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
An excellent lesson of how NOT to use LinkedIn.
MCP
Valued Contributor
+4
Sales Director
Fangirls and e-boys. And weโ€™re worried about a pandemic and the Return of the Taliban. This world is fucked in the next 10-20 years when they start to call some shots. WTF is genZ going to do about global warming? Bitch about how Boomers caused it on Tik Tok?
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
LEAVE HARRY STYLES ALONE๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜ญ
The.Machine
Politicker
+6
Sales Development Lead
It all started with people begging for jobs due to covid. Not saying they were completely in the wrong.ย 


Then it was WFH setups, then vacation and now this platform has turned more or else into Facebook for dimwits.ย 
SaaSsy
Politicker
+3
Sales Executive
The fangirl resume literally made
me spit my drink out ๐Ÿ˜‚ Thank you!
LordBusiness
Politicker
+8
Chief Revenue Officer
Ok, maybe Iโ€™m dating myself here but what the hell is a โ€œFan girlโ€
NoSuperhero
Politicker
+7
BDR
FANGIRL LIFE

juajajajajajsaskdjf;askdjfsdkfjajajajaj hahaahhahaahah, juajua jua
I'm even laughing bilingually now this is too much!
hhahahahaha
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
82
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
82
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
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