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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.

Alright listen up shitters it's ya boy, WCK, back with your absolute FAVORITE weekly series on the War Room!


We are now on the Eighth installment of DoLI which is more surprising than SDR's complaining about how "qualified" their appointments they booked for you are and how you're "out to get them" and they could "totally be a better AE!!111!1"


Again, since it is very much low hanging fruit, please limit things to two Gong rep posts per week tyvm!


I figure since we are ALL on LinkedIn, and we all shit on it to varying degrees, we could compile a mass thread to highlight some of the annoying, idiotic, or just plain dumb shit we see on that platform.


Very much inspired by those posts about hiring someone for showing up late to an interview cause they saved a dog or something, here is one post that crossed my LI feed this very morning!


First up, what the entire fuck does this even mean???


Yeah, totally, let me gut the Engineering department real quick and nab another failed influencer to bring in "top-notch talent" .


Next up, speaking of SDR's:


Look, SDR's already suck, their meetings 955 of the time suck, and even with that I think this is dumb because there are some SHIT AE's out there that can't close and tying an SDR's rev to that is dumb. Plus, as ο»Ώο»Ώ@funcouponsο»Ώο»Ώ knows, shitty SDR;s continuously book shit meetings and so they deserve nothing but cigarette burns. That is all.

Once again, happy Wednesday my Savages, I hope you enjoyed this little bit of fun to sustain you through this EOQ push.


As always, in honor of our fallen soldier BigMeech may your wits stay sharp, your mountains stay blue, and your commission checks be overflowing.


It's time to make some fucking money.

🐱 Off-Topic
πŸ˜‚ Sales Humor
24
GrizzleMcThornBody
Arsonist
+12
EVP - RevOps
love these posts thank you!
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Coming from you Griz my dear friend, a higher honor one can not find.
GrizzleMcThornBody
Arsonist
+12
EVP - RevOps
*tips fedora*
Show 3 more replies
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Recruiters can compare themselves to whatever they want, they still only went into it as they had no hard skills.Β 

And yes I realise I'm in sales, but at least I realise it.Β 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Self-awareness is key

Thoughts on the second one my fav little SDR?Β 

InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Pay them enough to shut up, SDR's whine too much
Show 2 more replies
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
When I was a BDR I was paid a base and 1% on all closed business that my AE(s) would close. Lucky for me, I set good meetings and contributed over $3M in booked business before being promoted.

Here's how I pay SDRs today:

1) Base
2) Delivered Qualified Meetings (fixed per meeting)
3) % of Closed Revenue

Anyways, I'll get off my PBC TED-X Stage now.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
A mix is key. You can't put all eggs into that basket. We see eye to eye here
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
+10
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
I fear that my east coast short-ness would leave us looking eye-to-throat on my part.
Show 1 more replies
Sunbunny31
Politicker
+5
Sales Executive
I agree.Β  Β I like giving SDRs a bit of a carrot to book better meetings.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
This is all stupid, horrible, no good stuff that makes no sense.Β 

BUT the worst part of LI is the chat function. WHY when I hit return after typing a chat does it not just send said message?

Its the only messaging platform I have used that does this and it makes me want to stick a fork in my eye.Β 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Oh God I noticed that too and I DESPISE it. These fucking slapdicks at LI are clueless.
FamilyTruckster
Politicker
+9
Exec Director, Major Accounts
Drives me nuts! Had an actual conversation on there recently and it was torture.Β 
dduuddee
Good Citizen
Recruiter Dude
3 little dots next to the send button. Thank me later.Β 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
I don't even know what to say this week.
FamilyTruckster
Politicker
+9
Exec Director, Major Accounts
I have no idea what that post above means.Β 
ragnarlothbrok
Politicker
+7
Key account manager
Fun but factual, a big πŸ‘ hereΒ 
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Dude....For somebody who made a bunch of money in recruiting, that guy sure doesn't have any fucking self-awareness. Who could paid more Thach, your engineering hires or recruiting hires?
signandrecline
Opinionated
+5
Enterprise Sales & Demand Gen Manager
Out of the loop - who is BigMeech and what happened to them?
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
He was the best of us, Leader of the Coors Knights, the most Savage of Sellers, the greatest of Closers, the one we all aspire to be. Search for β€œThe Book of Refreshment” on here for his farewell to us. May his wits stay sharp, his mountains stay blue, and his commission checks forever be overflowing.
dcarb
Good Citizen
Account Manager
I hate this current trend where C level douche bags create these titles that are completely made up and meaningless.Β  WTF is a Chief Talent Officer anyway?Β  Maybe if you were a pageant judge or on the panel of America's Got Talent that would make sense but to me it just sounds like you are trying way to hard to be hip and cool.Β  Same with Chief People Officer or Chief Experience Officer.Β  Just further proof that people in HR don't actually do anything other than create shit tons of paperwork and useless training for the rest of us to complete. πŸ™„
Justatitle
Politicker
+11
Mid Market AE
If I had a badge to give you’d get it.
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
82
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
82
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Dumbasses of LinkedIn: Your weekly thread for all things asinine, stupid, or complete BS that you see on LI.
Discussion
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