Hey savages,
need your advice when it comes to my mails. Started a new job back in April in the Finance industry helping companies to manage and shorten their financial planning tool with a SaaS tool here in Europe.
Given that my messaging game is not where it should be, I would appreciate your inputs on my draft.
Thank you in advance!
Here are two mails that I would send as the first mail => things that still bother me are that they are too long and in my opinion still a bit too general.
E-Mail 1:
Dear Mr. XXX,
saw your vacant senior financial controller position and noticed that you are looking into improving the current analysis, reporting, budgeting, and forecasting processes.
Speaking from experience most "THEIR INDUSTRY" spend with their current approach (via "TOOLS THEY USE ACCORDING TO JOB DESC.".) twice as much time as necessary to handle all their FP&A processes.
What if you could spend more time on business partnering and risk management by managing all your FP&A processes with a single platform and automating manual processes like "REFERENCE COMPANY 1" and "REFERENCE COMPANY 2" did…..
would this be worth a chat?
PS: "SHORT INDIVIDUAL PS"
E-Mail 1- Alternative:
Hello Mr XXX,
saw that you are currently using "TOOLS" to manage your FP&A processes.
Not certain whether that is the case for you, but many "THEIR INDUSTRY" are looking into streamlining their FP&A processes to spend more on business partnering and risk management.
What if you could do exactly that with a single planning platform that is tailored to your specific needs like your peers did at "REFERENCE COMPANY"…
... would this be worth looking into?
PS: "SHORT INDIVIDUAL PS"
Please feel free to be honest and don't hold back!!
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