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End of Quarter Anxiety Drivers

Hit me with your best end of quarter, waiting on a signature that will make your number, anxiety driver. I'll start:


Sales Manager: Hey, any word yet?


In what FUCKING world, does this deal close or have movement and you don't know about it? Yeah, it closed and I neglected to tell you. Fuck outta here.


Go...

πŸ˜‚ Sales Humor
☁️ Software Tech
12
SaaSam
Politicker
+6
Account Executive
Had a falling out with my director because I recently answered this question with, "fuck if I know".Β 
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+7
AE of B2B
Lol sounds like a Friday type of conversation
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
OMG this one got me! Like, what do you think is going to change in the last hour you asked me this? πŸ€¦β€β™€οΈ
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
+9
WR Enthusiast
Sales Manager: Any updates? No? You sure? Double check your email and let me know...
5 Mins later:
Sales Manager: Any updates?

(Yes this does happen to me)
de
deathbysales
Politicker
+2
Strategic Accounts
Last few days of end of quarter my manager will always ask us if we have anything else to bring in..... drives me fucking nuts. It's like he's programed to ask that question.Β  No I am hiding shit and will pull it out of my ass at the 11th hour.Β 
Rupert_Pupkin
Contributor
+2
Account Executive
Even worse is when they get you to try and pull something in that has no chance. β€œHey I know this isn’t scheduled for another 3 months, but think they could move their timeline up?”
de
deathbysales
Politicker
+2
Strategic Accounts
That drive me crazy. I usually agree to work on it and in reality won’t even try. Β I am not going to rob Peter to pay Paul.Β 
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cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
man oh man, I feel ya. I'm in sales not magic.Β 
OpalTiddyChurger
Arsonist
+9
Funbags Enthusiast
Coming in first thing and being bombarded by revenue questions, let me open my laptop first ffs!
youKNOW
Politicker
+7
Sales Manager
Question on this, since I'm on a yearly goal. What happens if you don't hit a quarterly number but they sign the first day of the next Q? I'm legitimately curious about this. At some point, we're all in sales so a certain amount of mid-level anxiety ALWAYS exists.
Rupert_Pupkin
Contributor
+2
Account Executive
Just goes towards your next Q goal. The leadership stress comes from rising calls to the board, etc… and whether your deal has an impact on that. Plus at a smaller/private company, dollars can be more valuable in certain quarters.
youKNOW
Politicker
+7
Sales Manager
Got it. I'm at a smaller/ private company, dollars at ANY point are more valuable no matter the quarter. Be that as it may, the quarterly number is only used as a gauge of yearly pace.
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
+5
Senior Director, Enterprise Technology
The 8am text message asking for an update is the worst. It only happens at the end of reporting quarters, but still. β€œAny news?” …yeah, the news is it’s 8am.Β 
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+7
AE of B2B
Please tell me that’s what you reply. Also my condolences, that sucks
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
+5
Senior Director, Enterprise Technology
Just don’t reply. Before I start is my time lol
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cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Having the end of the week three 1-1 meetings on updates when those meetings are only 2 hours apart...if you let me actually work and not chat balls to you then maybe it might come in.Β 
Rupert_Pupkin
Contributor
+2
Account Executive
Monday:Β 

"We have a call with them on Wednesday to get updated, they said they'll have news then and nothing before"
"Ok, let's schedule a huddle for tomorrow morning to see what's changed"

.....FUCK
alecabral
Arsonist
+8
Director - Digital Sales Transformation
Sales manager: how’s your next quarter pipeline? Anything you can bring over today?
NotInterested
Valued Contributor
+4
Business Development Manager
β€œWhat do you have cookin for us?” Please, Rob... it’s not lookin good so stop asking πŸ˜‚
StringerBell
Politicker
+7
Account Executive
I can’t stand that shit. You will fucking know when it closes
4
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Question
11
8
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62
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Official
19