The War Room
Question
Post

Farting in office?

Hey all... I wanted to float something across your desks today: farting in office.


Do you ever do it?


I fear my desk mate might have just let one fly, the only thing is that it was just the weirdest brand I've ever smelt. I personally think he should have saved it for his personal time, he kinda just reinvented my world.

🎈 Mentorship
31
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
I believe in America. America has made my fortune. And I raised my daughter in the American fashion. I gave her freedom but I taught her never to dishonor her family. She found a “boy friend,” not an Italian. She went to the movies with him. She stayed out late. I didn’t protest. Two months ago he took her for a drive, with another boy friend. They made her drink whiskey and then they tried to take advantage of her. She resisted. She kept her honor. So they beat her. Like an animal. When I went to the hospital her nose was broken. Her jaw was shattered, held together by wire. She couldn’t even weep because of the pain. But I wept. Why did I weep? She was the light of my life. A beautiful girl. Now she will never be beautiful again. Sorry… I went to the police, like a good American. These two boys were brought to trial. The judge sentenced them to three years in prison, and suspended the sentence. Suspended sentence! They went free that very day! I stood in the courtroom like a fool, and those two bastards, they smiled at me. Then I said to my wife, “For justice, we must go to Don Corleone.”
SaaStityBelt
Valued Contributor
+4
SDR
-Bonasera
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
I agree, god save our queen! 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Man, I see in fight club the strongest and smartest men who’ve ever lived. I see all this potential, and I see squandering. God damn it, an entire generation pumping gas, waiting tables; slaves with white collars. Advertising has us chasing cars and clothes, working jobs we hate so we can buy shit we don’t need. We’re the middle children of history, man. No purpose or place. We have no Great War. No Great Depression. Our Great War’s a spiritual war… our Great Depression is our lives. We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be millionaires, and movie gods, and rock stars. But we won’t. And we’re slowly learning that fact. And we’re very, very pissed off.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Did you mean to comment on another post? I'm all for your insight at the appropriate time and place but we're busy talking about farts right now. 
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
What does fight club have to do with farts?

InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
You have a strange take on mentorship Macdaddy. 

We've all probably let one rip on the sly or accidentally - if it's repeated that's a capital offence though. (Medical conditions excluded) 

Another unexpected benefit of WFH
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
What would be an example of capital punishment in this case?

InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Raking over hot coals, removing their coffee privileges, making them carry out CRM cleaning for the entire team or being seconded to marketing for a fortnight. 
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Today's basic or unendorsed Insurance Services Office, Inc. (ISO), commercial general liability (CGL) coverage form policy (the April 2013 edition) provides very little pollution coverage. Policyholders would do well to either extensively amend their CGL or obtain separate pollution coverage for more than minimal or incidental pollution exposures.

The first section of the pollution exclusion does not exclude pollution—it excludes bodily injury or property damage arising out of the release of a pollutant. This is no small matter—the exclusion may still be applied when there is no pollution, at least in the general sense of the word, which usually involves some form of environmental contamination. And the resulting bodily injury or property damage must only arise out of the release of the pollutant. "Arising out of" indicates a wider range of causation than proximate causation. Most courts have determined that "arising out of" requires only some causal relationship or connection between the bodily injury or property damage and the excluded risk. In this instance, the excluded risk is the release of a pollutant.

What is very relevant and is defined (in the CGL's definition section) is the term "pollutant," the understanding of which is central to the pollution exclusion. "Pollutant" is a very expansive term that includes just about any type of irritant or contaminant, whether it is a solid, liquid, gas, or by heat (thermal). The definition specifically mentions but is not limited to smoke, vapor, soot, fumes, acids, alkalis, chemicals, and waste.Substances that would normally be expected to be considered "pollutants," and which have been found by courts to be "pollutants," include ammonia, benzene, chemical fumes, DDT, petroleum, diesel fuel, oil, waste oil, insecticide, PCB, and TCE.Some substances that may not normally be considered "pollutants" have been found by courts in some circumstances to be "pollutants," including cement dust, foundry sand, manure, salt water, sewage, and skunk spray.
At the outset, the very first paragraph of the pollution exclusion establishes that, in order to activate the exclusion, there must first be a pollutant that has some causal connection to bodily injury or property damage. And that the pollutant can travel in any number of ways, as expressed in the wording "actual, alleged or threatened discharge, dispersal, seepage, migration, release or escape." But this first paragraph only provides the preliminary measure for applying the exclusion—subparagraphs (a) to (e) and the exceptions in each subparagraph, when read together with paragraph f. (1), provide the specific circumstances to which the exclusion applies.Exclusion f. 1. (a)—"Premises." The first set of circumstances in which the exclusion applies is related to premises or site pollution. That is, exclusion f.(1)(a) applies to releases or escapes of pollutants at or from any premises, site, or location owned, occupied, rented, or loaned to any insured at any time. This premises exclusion is very broad—the insured's connection to the premises does not have to be current—it could involve a past location or site that was rented or owned decades ago. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Tldr: Call FEMA, establish a containment zone and if anything starts shuffling and moaning towards you - shoot it. 
SandwichMan
Catalyst
+7
BDR Team Lead
The fuck is this
SaaStityBelt
Valued Contributor
+4
SDR
Hope to god this was a copy and paste job.
alecabral
Arsonist
+8
Director - Digital Sales Transformation
wtf?
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
Obviously, I don't recommend farting in the office, but there is a big difference between cruel and unusual punishment of our coworkers by farting on them and accidentally letting one out. Hoping this coworker of yours falls in the latter category, but if not we might need to send him to @paddy 's intern cabinet😤
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
But do we want the kahlua to be tainted by eau de intern toilette?
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
InQ5WeTrust asking the hard hitting questions. Paddy do you have two separate cabinets for Kahula and interns or could we risk tainting the sweet sweet Kahula if we put this office farter in there?
No_ty
Catalyst
+6
Sales Dir.
Hell no; burn it with fire and throw it to the river
ragnarlothbrok
Politicker
+6
Key account manager
Had to read this one. It has been known that I have let the odd one rip from time to time. 

I do try not to though based on the unpredictability of how strong the vapor trail I leave in my wake is 
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
Fire him
JustGonnaSendIt
Opinionated
+4
Burn Towns, Get Money
Farting in a shared space where others is present is kind of rude if you're nearby. I'm thinking open concept office where I'm sitting like 4 ft from someone. If I had my own cube or office, that's my airspace that you're entering at your own risk.

However, there are some simple pleasures in life, like farting in that unoccupied conference room, or in the elevator when you're alone.
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
Or right after a date when you’ve been holding it in to impress the chick>>>>>
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
I like this take... well said.

Feds_Watchin
Politicker
+6
Account Executive
IT WAS ME
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Careful sonny... The feds be watching and this has been labeled a capital offense.  
Feds_Watchin
Politicker
+6
Account Executive
Just quoting Liar Liar. I’m a gentleman and always leave the room.
bamageorge
Celebrated Contributor
+9
International Sales Director
This is the content I'm here for LOL... 
fuzzy
Notable Contributor
+21
CMO (Chief Meme Officer)
I used to walk into my CRO’s office just to fart.
Beasthouse
Opinionated
+5
Corporate trainer
is this an aerosol shitpost?
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
+9
Account Manager
Fuck yeah, if I gotta fart you better watch the fuck out cuz this MY HOUSE. 
No_ty
Catalyst
+6
Sales Dir.
No ty! big time
SabertoothSales
Opinionated
+4
Southeast Regional Manager
"weirdest brand" - Was it a California barking spider, an air buscuit, a good ole Bronx Cheer?
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
As I am unfamiliar with this terminology, I can tell you it was an SBD. It wasn't a typical low tide smell... it almost had a moldy hint to it. 
SabertoothSales
Opinionated
+4
Southeast Regional Manager
Ah Yes - The basement burp, CLassIC
Show 1 more replies
tonysoprano
Opinionated
+5
AE
At this point you should know your rips well enough - i've def done it a time or 5, but ONLY when i'm confident that it's not gonna create a scene like similar to the Channel 4 news team smelling sex panther cologne
you just have to know and judge accordingly 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
But sometimes the gabagool just hits different Tony.
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
Wanna know what's funny? my personal brand recently changed... never trust a fart, my friend.
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
+9
WR Enthusiast
Oh please no!!
JC10X
Politicker
+8
Senior Sales Manager
Face mask ftw! Lol
Rupert_Pupkin
Contributor
+2
Account Executive
Office farts are right up there with bar farts. Just pretend you have to take a call, go to the hallway and let it rip. Give it the appropriate minute of clearing then get back to your day. Bar farts and office farts...should be capital punishment worthy
wahmsales
WR Officer
+10
SDR
Was this post edited? What's with the weird comments?

And what if you can't hold in your fart, what should you do?
Macdaddy
Arsonist
+7
Team Lead
I have not a clue as to where these comments are coming from.
CPfor3
Opinionated
+3
Business Development Representative
I do think farting should only be done in one's personal time. Can really take one out of their groove on the phones
User1234567
Politicker
+5
User1234567
Fart in the bathroom if you know it’s gonna smell if it’s silent and smell less let it rip
SammySandbags
Politicker
+6
Account Executive
Better out than in, I always say
softwaresails
Politicker
+4
Sales Manager
You made this post to hide the fact that you enjoyed it huh?
User1234567
Politicker
+5
User1234567
Men are stinkey and gross good luck dealing with that
User1234567
Politicker
+5
User1234567
I suggest investing in Lysol spray works wonders in the bathroom
uncorpse
Politicker
+5
Sales Development
Never had a weird experience with this, gladly. 
GDO
Politicker
+7
BDM
Blame it on the SDR’s 😅 another advantage of wfh tbh
9
Returning to the office?
Question
13
Return to work preferences
sa
+42
TheDuchess ,   StonedColdClozr ,   sales_women   and 42 people voted
37
Office Farts
Discussion
60
13
Office Decor
Discussion
30