Frivolous Friday Question

You can't work in sales anymore, and you are forced to be a parcel delivery driver.

Who are you working for?

Attached poll
*Voting in this poll no longer yields commission.
🐱 Off-Topic
20
CoorsKing
WR Officer
11
Retired King of the Coors Knights
Bike courier. I’m going to have quads that rival Lance fucking Armstrong, only I’ll still have both nuts
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
6
☕️
Damn, but do you get an ergonomic saddle to keep that BME comfy?
CoorsKing
WR Officer
7
Retired King of the Coors Knights
Padded shorts, ergo saddle, and full suspension. I’m the Dan Atherton of mail delivery
BmajoR
Arsonist
3
Account Executive
I have a custom Brooks with hemorrhoid padding. 
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
1
🔪Amateur Butcher🔪
@BigMeech that joke was well below the belt... and Im here for it 😂
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
10
SaaS Eater
USPS so I can just cash checks, not work, and blame the govt when your package shows up 6 months late
CuriousFox
WR Officer
5
🦊
HA!!!! I picked USPS for those reasons too!
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
4
SaaS Eater
Great minds Fox, great minds! 
someoneinsales
Tycoon
3
Director of Sales
Absolutely....then a nice pension 
Rachet
Politicker
1
Account executive
Don't they get Federal Benefits too? 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
3
SaaS Eater
Sure do! 
funcoupons
WR Officer
6
👑
Bike courier, gotta burn off the beer calories somehow.
TheNegotiator
Arsonist
0
VP of Sales
I thought you only drink Kahlua.. my day is ruined and my disappointment is immeasurable
funcoupons
WR Officer
3
👑
Honey child, I’m sales. I’ll drink gin brewed in a rusty bath tub. 
MinisterOfChaos
Politicker
0
Commercial Account Executive
Upvoted only for the imagery.

That aside, gin is awful... and isn't gin brewed in a rusty bath tub anyway?
TheNegotiator
Arsonist
0
VP of Sales
You sir, have either not spent enough time in sales, or not had sufficient access to the company expense account.  $12 G&Ts on a patio downtown, with more ice than my exes' heart at 1:30PM on a Wednesday taste almost as sweet, as serving a healthy dose of revenge to a competitor.

Though I agree, Gin is nasty by itself, IMO it's one of the best drinks of mixed properly.
MinisterOfChaos
Politicker
0
Commercial Account Executive
In a former life, I tended bar. I only drank gin if I literally sold out of everything else.

Even then I'd rather take a bar mat shot than pollute this Dad-bod temple with a substance the British created as a "tasteful" spirit.

In regard to 1:30 PM Wednesday drinks, give me salt-rimmed CoronaRitas; I'll slam 5 of those and get back to crushing office life.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
5
🦊
Not the fuck FedEx they have royally pissed me off today. Why you gotta be marking a package as delivered when you haven't delivered it? Hmm FedEx??? HMMMMM??????? 😆
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
4
☕️
Oh, since I can't answer my own poll: FedEx all the way.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
5
🦊
You're entering my circle of hell.
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
3
☕️
I'm here to put the fires out!
UserNotFound
Politicker
2
Account Executive
UPS- I think I’d look good in brown tbh and no fucking way I’m riding a bike all over this god forsaken town.
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
3
☕️
I don't think I'd be a bike courier in my city, either.
Do.it.for.the.checks
Politicker
0
Account Executive
Bike courier so I can run my own business. Give me 6 months that shit is gonna rival Amazon
cw95
Politicker
0
Sales Development Lead
Pedal to the metal ay.
DrunkenArt
Politicker
0
Sales Representative
FedEx. Only reason is people will have extremely low job performance expectations. 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
3
🦊
I'm watching you.
TheNegotiator
Arsonist
0
VP of Sales
UPS so I can be a professional failure, and nobody will expect more.
goose
Politicker
0
Sales Executive
BIKES!
SADNES5
Politicker
0
down voters are marketing spies
FedEx... You're either 3 months in/out or a 25yr+ vet who loves their job beyond belief. 

No brainer. 
sellingsellssold
Politicker
0
SDR
Def on the bike all the way 
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
0
🔪Amateur Butcher🔪
FedEx driver always seem super happy though, wonder what the benefit package looks like 🤔
38
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