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Getting over a shit attitude/mindset

Lastely I've noticed myself falling into a real shit mindset - I'm worrying about what I don't have instead of going out and getting it (or being thankful for what I do have), I'm jealous of teammates' success instead of excited for them and the team, I'm watching out for people to fuck me over (without a real reason to think they are), and - worst of all - doubting my abilities as a salesperson as a result. 

I think we've all been there where we've fallen into this trap or something similar, and we all know mindset is immensely important in this game. 

So what strategies do y'all use to get past this kind of negativity and head trash and get back in the game?? 
🧠 Advice
🙏 Mental Wellness
💆‍♂ Mindset
30
chubbspeterson
Politicker
+5
Business Development
I've found that taking time each day to be grateful, like actually acknowledging and thinking about all the positive shit in my life, really helps to get me out of a funk. I try to do it first thing in the morning and then again before I go to bed. 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Needer of Life Alert
"Positive shit in my life" screams gratitude 😆
chubbspeterson
Politicker
+5
Business Development
haha yeah I probably could have phrased that better 
Show 2 more replies
BullDawg
Politicker
+6
AE
Great advice - thanks! I used to keep a daily gratitude journal and totally forgot about it until your comment 😂 time to get back at it!
PhillySales
Opinionated
+3
Director of Inside Sales
Spot on man. Helpful to remind ourselves of what is good. Family, friends, health, work, fresh air, clean water, food in the fridge, roof on our head, just the basics, even if they aren’t perfect it could be a lot worse.
BANTer
Contributor
+2
Head of Tech Sales
100%! It was hard for me to get into the habit of doing this in a way that actually was meaningful until I picked up the book “The Magic” by Rhonda Byrne. It can feel hokey and I’m normally a big skeptic but it structured my gratitudes for an entire month and helped me feel the best I’ve ever felt. I still use some of those exercises daily and after completing the month long exercise of the book, I went back to look at my “what I want” list and had achieved everything on it within 6 months that I’ve built out a new one.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Have you taken any time off recently? 

If not sounds like you need some time to detach and refresh. 
BullDawg
Politicker
+6
AE
Yeah I took a 4 day trip to Mexico back in March. Unfortunately I’m a little SOL on time off for now - I just started with this company in Feb and need to put up some numbers before I take more real time (enterprise sales with 5-9 month sales cycles so I haven’t booked anything notable yet). I think the idea of stepping away (even if just for a weekend) and trying to reset is great though - thank you!
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Sounds good! Definitely recommend just fully detaching so no emails or work talk Friday night to Monday morning! 

Grab a beer with some mates and have a BBQ.
Bu
BusterMcDialRipper
Politicker
+7
Director of Dials
just take a break, drop everything and do something that will make u feel good
Santipodero
Politicker
+2
Sanix
I agree, take a vacation to reconnect with your inner self and leave negativity and stress behind.
alecabral
Arsonist
+8
Director - Digital Sales Transformation
I think you just did the hardest part, which is acknowledging it. Any ideas how you got to this moment though? can you think back to when you first felt like this?
BullDawg
Politicker
+6
AE
Good question…. It’s been a few weeks probably. Maybe beginning of the month? I think it’s just the amount of pressure I put on myself. My first few years carrying a bag I absolutely crushed it and loved every minute of it. The past 1.5-2 years have been really tough and I haven’t hit my goals in that time. This is a new gig (going into month 6) and I haven’t brought in a deal worth talking about yet. I think there might be a lingering fear that I just don’t have it anymore…Compound that with the news that my wife and I have a baby on the way and it makes sense. First time I’ve really thought through it like that - thank you! 🙏
alecabral
Arsonist
+8
Director - Digital Sales Transformation
I think you just found what's potential the root of the problem! Anxiety is a real thing and it can play against you. I'm sure you're great at your job and probably just need to give it some time. You'll get there and close a big ass deal eventually and the whole baby stuff? Man, I'd be surprised if your world wasn't turned over. I think you'll be fine, though you might need to figure out how to focus a bit more as the one thing anxiety does for us is screw our mojos man.

you've got this!
happyhunter
Valued Contributor
+5
spittin' sunshine
Welcome to the grind! First, acknowledging your mindset/feelings is the most important thing. We all get jealous of others' successes when ours is lacking but remember...what you put out is what you receive. All of what you said is completely normal and everyone has felt the way you're feeling. That being said, If you're constantly down on yourself, comparing yourself to others, and jealous of others' successes, you will stay in a negative mindset.

Take some time for yourself to reset and figure out what you need to change to be successful. Think small modifications to your day that, over time, will lead to success, happiness, and overall a more positive mindset. Maybe this is addin five extra names to your call list or showing up to work 10 minutes early to get a headstart on your day. Over time, every small habit or change that you successfully implement will build/compound and give you the success and life you want. 

Try downloading a meditation app and choose a 31 day challenge so you can hold yourself accountable. Every morning, write an "I am" statement such as "I am going to close five deals this year" or "I am worthy of success and abundance" and over time you will see these changes. 

I know this works because I was literally in your shoes last October and my entire life has changed since implementing some of these practices. You've got this!!!!! 
BullDawg
Politicker
+6
AE
💪🏽thank you! I love the small increments idea! Def going to be putting that in play
Santipodero
Politicker
+2
Sanix
Your advice is very good, I'm going to put it into practice, for the better my moods
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
+9
Account Manager
Keep grinding.  Sounds like you might be in the midst of building a good book of business but if you're putting in the work and effort success will come.  The problem is that the success usually comes at riiiiight about the point where you feel like giving up, you gotta push passed that shit, not sure how long you've been in the role but building business relationships takes a fuckload of time and energy and patience.  
BullDawg
Politicker
+6
AE
Yeah deep down I know you’re right, it always works out that way. Just hard to see it when you’re in the shit!
dave1
Politicker
+2
SDR
Stay away and recover for a few, you'll come back stronger than ever. 
Santipodero
Politicker
+2
Sanix
my grandmother always said time cures everything, you are absolutely right
PhillySales
Opinionated
+3
Director of Inside Sales
If you are near an ocean, go in it. My grandmother says the ocean cures everything.
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
I went through a really, incredibly bad period of this earlier this year. It sucks. 
What I found helpful was - obviously talk to your nearest and dearest. 

Talk to people you may know in similar roles to see if they have gone through what you are going through. 

Join groups on Linkedin and you will see similar things. 

But also, the main thing that helped me was just being open and going to the top dog and saying (not in these exact words) 'I'm really going through hell here, I need to sort this out. Honesty is worth every penny. 


Also, what I presume others would agree with, logging onto this community and seeing that you aren't the only person going through it. It really helped me.

 Many times I'd have weeks of thinking 'This is shit my work is shit everything is shit' but then I come on here and someone has created a mega string of a post and everyone is in the same boat. It doesn't help you in your role but it 100% helps you mentally. 

Silver linings and all mate, it won't last forever. 
Santipodero
Politicker
+2
Sanix
Express gratitude. One of the easiest ways to increase your positivity is by expressing gratitude. ... Be generous. ... Control your breathing. ... Visualize success. ... Meditate
avocadobegood
Acclaimed Answer
+7
MM Account Executive
embrace the suck. also get a therapist (if you work for a SaaS company in the states 99% chance your PCP plan will cover it) - gigantic benefits.
SaaSsy
Politicker
+2
Sales Executive
Definitely need some time off to give your mind a break from the negative feedback loop. We've all gone through a slump at some point but it's important to remember that you have more to offer than just closing deals! Remind yourself that you're a great friend/partner,etc. and honestly, a job is a job and you can always find a new one. 
VineMic
Good Citizen
+1
Account Executive
@BullDawg I kid you not, every sales rep goes through this numerous times.

Here's a few action bits:


1) Eat ridiculously healthy and start every morning off with a walk. Go reset your mind first thing and get the dopamine's flowing.


2) Get a large calendar to put in your room with all the days for your month. Dopamine's created when you take a step in pursuit of a goal (after every workout the dopamine rush hits even if you don't have a 6 pack). Every time you hit your activities you put an X on that day. It's time to start focusing in on the controllables and refining your process. Process/Habits --> Outcomes

3) Connect with your family and friends and you're not allowed to talk about work, buddy. You stay present in the moment and you spend quality time with them without diverting your attention away to anything that could possibly be seen on LinkedIn Sales Nav or Salesforce.

4) Refine the process of your day-to-day:
i) Whatever would be 8am their time is when you start emailing and calling your prospects. Make sure you have your reports with all the contacts in them ready to go so you're not improvising, it's plug and play. The prep work you do ahead of time sets up the kickass days which sets up the big paydays in the future, my friend
ii) What kind of messaging are the top people using in your company? Borrow their talk-tracks, read all the marketing content out there about your industry and what you guys do, have everything ready to go and in a word doc, put bullet points which show the exact points you're trying to get to and why they should care about you
iii) Weeding out the tire-kickers and bad leads from your pipeline. Your time is limited and right now focus on building a kickass pipeline and if there's any "maybes..." or people that are ghosting, the hell with them. New contacts, new activities, and new messaging
iv) Messaging and cadence needs to be on point. This is what I like doing: 

Day 1: email in the morning + call in the afternoon referencing the title and time of my email (leave v/m if need be)


Day 3: LinkedIn message

Day 5: 1 video message or piece of content pertaining to their industry

Day 7: Call them in the afternoon (like 4pm their time)

Day 9: follow up on the email with a quick and simple: "Did you get a chance to read my note" message

Day 10: Call

Day 14: Screw off email: 

Hey ____,

I get it... I'm now being a nuisance and this isn't a priority for you at the moment. My goal isn't to be a pest, but I want to respect your time and don't want to bother you.

If you ever need anything I'm happy to help, but I'm going to put the ball in your court and promise not to reach out for a few months.

*put in a photo of a basketball on a basketball court*

5) If you really just need to relax and reset, take some time off buddy. I feel for you and hope you get through this my friend

All the best @BullDawg , the community's got your back!

BullDawg
Politicker
+6
AE
🙏 great advice here - thanks VineMic! You’re 100% spot on with the focus on what you can control. It’s hard to do but helps so much
VineMic
Good Citizen
+1
Account Executive
my pleasure @BullDawg . All the best and you got this!
goose
Politicker
+11
Sales Executive
Focus on habits.  Whatever you do, do it well and keep doing it.  Goal setting can be a loser's game (in that you don't truly "succeed" until the goal is achieved).  Instead of focusing on outcomes and achievements (or people fucking you over) just keep working.
Prunetracey
Fire Starter
+2
VP Growth
This is something I actively coach people on inside and outside of my organisation. I hope this helps dawg:

1. Practice gratitude daily. There's a lot to be thankful for. "People are dying in Syria. My life is not that hard (is what I tell myself)". Reflection on what you're grateful for (when genuine) releases DHEA in the brain which actively lowers excess cortisol in the blood stream released by being stressed. Thing is, it has to be genuine. Don't lie to yourself.
2. Start selflessly giving without the expectation of taking something in return. I guarantee this will help both your personal life AND your professional life. The ironic thing with selflessness is that people want to kick down your door to be with you/work with you. 
3. Take extreme ownership for everything in your life. Life is happening "from" you, not "to" you. 

Happy to discuss this further if you'd like as I know three dot points you read on the internet aren't exactly going to change your life. 

OldDogNewTricks
Opinionated
+5
Sales guy
Exercising is what pulls me out of my own shitty mindset... depending on the mood, it could mean hitting the gym and smashing pantera or FNM through my earphones to escape...or it might be a long road run and an audio book on something not too heavy to open up my mind
LordBusiness
Politicker
+7
Chief Revenue Officer
One small thing I started doing years ago, and still do to this day is starting out my day by emailing myself something I am thankful for.  I find that pushing my brain into a mindset of gratitude first thing, has helped me attack my days more positively. 
JC10X
Politicker
+8
Senior Sales Manager
Meditate and do something you really enjoy!
Tomahawk
Fire Starter
+2
AE Team Lead
Take a minute to step away from whatever is bringing you down. Then find a win. Whatever that win might be, personal professional spiritual emotional, whatever you need. Find that win, celebrate the crap out of it, and then go back to doing what you love the way that you love to do it. Then, if you find out you still don’t love it, do something new.
RampagingDog
Politicker
+5
Recruitment Consultant
Smile and dial.  Fake it until you make it.  False motivation eventually catches up and becomes real.  
Altego_
Good Citizen
+1
Account Executive
I highly recommend not only writing down and thinking emotionally about those things you’re grateful for, but also write down 5 of your proudest moments, think about them deeply/emotionally and seriously spend 10 minutes thinking about exactly how you felt in those moments of success. Harness those and remember that you are not your current mindset- think about it.
GDO
Politicker
+7
BDM
I have the same problem sometimes. Then I try to think about the people less fortunate than me. Also I always try to keep my why in mind. That means that all the rest really doesn’t matter. 
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