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Hey Bob, fuck off. Thanks.

We all have those prospects, the ones that drive us up a wall and you want to basically say "Hey Bob, fuck off. Thanks." But you can't.


I just got off a frustrating call with a client who, quite frankly, doesn't fucking listen.


"Hey WCK, I did this thing you explicitly told me not to do on our upgrade call the 20th. Also, remember that thing I asked you to do on our call less than 20 hours ago yesterday that you said is a case for engineering that'll take a few days to be updated? I still don't see that done. Also one more thing, that thing you explicitly told me not to do, can you make sure it worked? Thanks."


At this point I would love to tell him to eat my entire ass, bt instead I said "As I said yesterday, this is what I did for you, it'll be done in a few days, and I'll call you back next Wednesday to update" knowing that the opp will hit Closed Won over the weekend.


So let's hear it y'all, what are some prospect horror stories you have where you truly wished you could tell the prospect to fuck off, but didn't?


UPDATE: He has emailed me TWICE now in the 44(!!!) minutes since our call ended. BRO.

🏰 War Stories
41
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Assignment understood - hit squad on BobΒ 


CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
I actually sent this to my boss yesterday via Teams because I'm impatient. He responded with the Glen Close Fatal Attraction "I will not be ignored" gif. I think we are even.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
So much time for thisΒ 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
We ride together we die together Q5. You're my fav SDR for life.
Flippinghubs
Opinionated
+7
Account Executive
lmk when and where coach and im inΒ 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
This is where you hit him with the recap you sent him after your meeting yesterday.

PER MY LAST EMAIL BOB.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I HIT HIM WITH THAT ON THE PHONE

"Like I said on our call yesterday Bob, it's an engineering issue that I put a case in for, and it will take a few days as mentioned."
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Right. But you also send it to him in writing as a double bitch slap.
Show 4 more replies
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
You know I have a treasure trove of these haha. But one worth sharing was the account that was a super high value target for us so we go and meet with them in person. They rip us a new asshole for being a bad vendor (we had never worked with them before) and told us to fuck off if we wouldn't rebuild and completely customize our system for them.

We come back to them a couple weeks later with what they thought was a very customized proposal (newsflash we just repackaged what we already sold with a different name/look to make them feel good). They love it and tell us they will sign so we send the contract and they proceed to just haggle for shits and giggles for like 2 months. Finally deal goes CW.Β 

6 months later they cancel saying we didnt deliver blah blah blah and leave to our top competitor after we told them that if they leave, 1) their pricing is going up and 2) our competitor cant do what they want. They left anyway and 3 months after that came crawling back to us, and resigned at a 200% price increase over what we charged them before.Β 

Stick that one where the sun dont shineΒ 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Ahhhh revenge is sweet
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
ah fuck em, silver linings n all.Β 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I would tell him to fuck off but he has me by the balls until that opp hit's Closed Won and I get the revenue locked into my monthly numbers.
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Ah, just tell him the earth says fuck n the sky days off. And THEN go into the details - can he operate with you? Are you the key player? make him answer his own dillema.
Justatitle
Politicker
+11
Mid Market AE
Oh man, this list is longer than the list of shitty sales reps but the story that sticks out the most is when I specifically told a client not to try a feature in the product yet because the software wasn't set up for them yet and they went directly in and tried to use the feature followed up by emailing me to say it wasn't working. Dumb people only seem to get dumber...
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
"As per our last conversation, the software for that feature hasn't fully been implemented..."
Justatitle
Politicker
+11
Mid Market AE
Per my last email is the most professional way to say fuck you
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
+6
Senior Director, Enterprise Technology
O man. I feel this. Got a client, who has purchased and renewed knowing exactly what we do. We presented him a sledgehammer, it hammers, it crushes stuff etc. he routinely says β€œI love this hammer and how it smashes, but can it also be a chainsaw” and it’s infuriating. Our system does a great job at 15 things. Take those 15. Don’t come to me weekly with something totally unrelated.Β 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
Stop. Hammer time.Β 
mitts2
Politicker
+8
Account Executive
Ya I got a good one. I sold to this incredibly uneducated buyer but he thought he was really educated and smart which made it infinitely worse. Long story short, we allowed them to trial our product for several months too long to validate the tech (pretty standard procedure, but should not take several months). When it came down to signing he doubled back and told my SE and I that we did not share the correct information on how to integrate the tech and therefore would need another extension.Β 

I dug through endless email threads to screenshot and copy the exact words we sent to them on how the integration was supposed to work as well as going into our call recorder (we use Chorus, fuck you Gong) and pulled a snippet where we told them live on a call what needed to happen in terms of the integration. Sent it to the guy and closed won later that week.

Forever fuck that guy.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+13
Senior Account Executive
The evidence was clear.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
"Fuck you Gong"Β 

A man after my own heart.

I love it, I love that you kindly told hhim to fuck off, and I can't WAIT for this to hit CW so I can do the same.
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
The number of "hey, we did that thing you told us not to do and now shit's fucked" calls/emails I've gotten is not small.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
It won't necessfuck shit for him, he just won't be able to keep the change lol. Can;t wait for those upset calls/emails.
FamilyTruckster
Politicker
+9
Exec Director, Major Accounts
I think of the laughing clown in billy Madison. That’s what the bobs remind me of.Β 
buckets1
Politicker
+4
AE
Just had a client sign a $30k renewal -- one of my smaller clients but still worth hopping on a formal proposal review and walking them through everything in detail.Β  What followed was 2 weeks of back and forth and questions for the client to decide if they wanted a TINY $100 add on feature.Β  One hunder dollars aka like one Starbucks latte worth of comission for me.Β  Told them if it's that difficult of a decision let's just move forward with out it.Β  They ended up going for the add on but good lord what a waste of time.
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+10
AE of B2B
Damn I feel you on this. Take a few minutes to meditate and breath and then think how much worse it must be to actually work at the same company as this guy, lol.Β 

The best we can do is send annoying vibes his way outside of slashing his tires
UserNotFound
Politicker
+10
Mid Market Manager
God- Fucking- Damnit- Bob!Β 

My Bob is a dude that I was going to upgrade services and save 65% over his current cost, again while SIGNIFICANTLY UPGRADING him because current provider was taking the business for granted. Homie is so excited, says send contracts! Shares it with current provider and asks if he will match it so IT Director here doesn't have to do the work to make the change. Current provider obliges, UserNotFound here loses a sure-fire deal. I'm still pissed about it a year later.
Vi
Vissilio
Sales rep
I felt this one...
dwightyouignorantsale
Politicker
+6
Manager, Sales
Oh, Bob. If he can’t even listen during a couple of work calls, imagine what his love life is like. I had a prospect once who, because I am a young female, always discredited what I said. He would always ask me to β€œbring in an expert” or bring in my boss, in which he would ask the SAME questions and get the SAME answers. But it was only when a male answered his questions did he accept it and move on. Infuriating.
HappyGilmore
Politicker
+7
Account Executive
In a previous life as an AE selling sports tickets, I'd get calls from clients asking to send them tickets electronically, and would do so and they'd call an hour later asking where they are, realizing they probably are in a spam folder somewhere. The other side of that is people who'd want tickets mailed, we'd say it'll take 3-5 days depending on where they live, and they go okay and hang up. The very next day, they'd ask where their tickets are, as if I work for USPS.
wh
whathaveyousoldtomorrow
Opinionated
+4
sales
cust b sassy in the cartel.Β 
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
The sassiest
jefe
Politicker
+8
Sales Director
Seriously, Bob? SERIOUSLY?!
IYNFYL
Politicker
+5
Client Success Advisor
When you get 90% through the deal and they try the can I get an extra discount bullshit
Corpslovechild
Politicker
+5
Inbound Sales Manager
I hate Bob
NoSuperhero
Politicker
+7
BDR
I ran into a gatekeeper, his name is Ryan at Responsive Tech and hated that I called 4 or 5 times a week to try to get a hold of different people in the org. He told me to stop calling, to which I told him I kindly can't simply do that.

Called again the next day, and he just doesn't want to even hear my name or request and tells me well you're not here to be my friend so why bother?

I told him nope and hung up.

I called a few mins later, luckily some other receptionist answer and I put in my complaint about Ryan the sassy receptionist and rudest out all receptionist in all of Responsive's sites, i let him know that I dialed and talked to almost all of them and Ryan by far is the most unpleasant.Β 

Felt good to do that. Fuck the Ryans and Bobs of this world. Fuck them all!
boogieman
Founder
At least he just emailed you twice. He could have called or sent several text messages / whatsapp.
3
Opening to a cold email... hi, hey, hello, greetings, etc.
Discussion
13
How do you start cold emails?
Dr
+48
ppg , Β  Supersize , Β  DrSQOat Β  and 48 people voted
9
"Sorry Mr. Customer - This Is Above My Paygrade"
Discussion
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37
Hey {user_firstname}}
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