"Hey, Intern! Tilt the camera down, let me see your pants"

Working from home has ushered in the age of mindless video calls. Apparently it never occurred to everyone that simple phone calls minus the face-to-face aspect have been and are still available for use, but I digress.

As much as I abhor when someone suggests we "jump on a Zoom call," I've found a way closely monitor my WFH interns. Most of the WFH world has gotten complacent and have taken solace knowing that they can roll out of bed, throw a hat on, and nonchalantly walk over to their desk wearing boxer briefs, sweatpants, shorts, or their strap-on dildo (okay the last one might just be me but you get the point).

I am completely fine with being able to work comfortably at home without being pressured to get ready and look entirely presentable.......unless you are an intern.

Interns are sub-human. Interns rights are not inherent. Interns have temporary privileges that are granted by people like myself.

Last week, I caught one of my interns, Trevor, attempting to exercise one of his so-called rights on our morning virtual intern cig burn lineup on Zoom. Since I can't physically burn the cigarette on their cheeks via Zoom, I have them simulate a reaction on video if I were to do it. The louder they scream in agony, the more bread they are rationed for the week.

Trevor showed up wearing a suit jacket and tie (as I mandate), but something was off. I asked Trevor to tilt down his camera so I could see what he was wearing on the bottom-half of his body. Trevor began to stutter and ask why. I repeated one more time. "Trevor, tilt the camera down and let me see your pants."

Sweatpants.

I immediately logged off and threw my laptop out of the window in anger. I'm still trying to figure out a proper punishment for his disobedience. Anyone have any recommendations for how I should handle Trevor?

-paddy