How do other women in sales deal with leaving their family for work trips?

I've been in sales a long time but now I have a partner and an infant. My partner gets frustrated when I have to leave because we share all of the parental duties equally when I'm home and me leaving is very distruptive. How do others deal with this?
🏄 Personal Life
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Sunbunny31
Politicker
8
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
This was hard for me starting out as well.    We both worked, but in my case, I did the larger share of caretaking than my husband.    We had to figure it out, because yes, it is disruptive, but the ability to work and do one's job is also important, and if travel from time to time is part of the job, then you'll have to sort it out with your partner.    

For us, it was partially a matter of my husband having to learn that he was capable of managing a child or two - as they are also his, and not one person's (my) sole responsibility.   There's also an exchange - one person cannot do everything, so if I was gone for a few days, or even an evening, can't complain when my husband had to be at work one night or took an overnight for a conference.   Also realize that maybe a bit more take out or less housecleaning may happen during the time you're gone, and unless the house is destroyed, you'll have to deal with it.

You each also have to take care of yourselves outside of work - infants and very young children are wonderful, but they are also exhausting.  Recognize that, and find ways to get breaks individually and together.   Hiring a babysitter in order to spend time without your child is important.    If you have parents in the area, they can also be asked (at your discretion and of course if they are able/willing and not crazy; hopefully not!).    

Also, you both should realize that having an infant is finite.  They really aren't babies for long.   They aren't even holy terror toddlers for long.   Both of my children were in child care at an early age so that we could work during the day, and before you know it, they are school age and that takes care of much of the work day.   That leaves only afternoons and night time with the parent(s).   It's a sacrifice for sure, but it doesn't last forever, and if you can both understand that, the better you will be for it.

My base problem was getting it into my husband's head that he could do it, he had to do it, and the world does not revolve around his individual comfort and wishes every moment of every day.   But...my husband is a bit selfish, which may not be the case for you with your partner.  So my husband got some serious talking to about who exactly was making most of the sacrifices (hint:  it was never him) and it got worked out.  He's a better guy for having to go through it, and the kids are FINE.
funcoupons
WR Officer
4
👑
I don't have a partner or kids because I'm so much better than every pathetic simp of a man that's ever talked to me. Works nicely in this situation.
Corpslovechild
Politicker
0
Inbound Sales Manager
I bet you are really fun to talk to at parties.
countingmyinterest
Politicker
-1
Account Executive
queen shit 
funcoupons
WR Officer
0
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CuriousFox
WR Officer
4
🦊
I'm sure y'all are exhausted. You need to sit down with your partner and figure out what to do moving forward. Should one of you quit your job? What if y'all hired a part time nanny? 
sahil
Notable Contributor
4
Deepak Chopra of Sales
It's a tough situation. My wife and I both travel a fair bit for work, and have a 19 month old. We try to be accommodating to one another's schedules, but the key for us is: overlapping care.

We have my parents who can watch her for a night, Nannies, mutual friends, etc. So it can help break it up for a night if Jordan is gone for 5 nights and I'm exhausted or vice versa.

But yeah shits hard...
saasbaby
Politicker
3
SDR
Yikes, I just started in sales and I have an infant and husband so I don't really have advice. Have you tried bringing this up to your manager? 

** Also commenting for myself so I can come back & read other helpful comments.
Sunbunny31
Politicker
3
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
Your manager isn't going to talk sense into your husband.  ;)

Maybe your husband is more sensible than mine was. 
CatMom
Politicker
1
Account Executive
Are you able to be flexible with the travel dates and maybe shorten the trips a little to sort of compromise? Or could partner and baby come with on these trips? (don’t come at me, I don’t have kids…I’m sure that’s a terrible idea but I have no idea…we have special needs cats…my cats to be clear…and my partner gets stuck taking care of them 4 weeks out of the year when I have my work trips and he gets a little grump so I kind of get it)

Maybe offer to pay for a weekend trip for your partner to visit a friend or something and they get to have a little trip away while you have to take on all parent duties. Not quite the same since you don’t have to do parent duties AND work on the weekend but still could be nice for them to get a little break and some “me time”
FoodForSales
Politicker
0
AE
I don't travel.  Not because of kids or family.  Just because my job doesn't require it.
GoldDigger
Fire Starter
0
Sales Rep
Its a nightmare. I am a single parent, so Ive had to recruit my parents (sometimes traveling 5 hours each way to drop off and pick up my child). Now I have a neighbor who takes care of my kid while Im away. 

It does get WAY easier when kids start school or have daycare and are a little more independent.

Its great that you have 50/50 split, but as your child grows you will see that it ebbs and flows. There will be times one of you takes on more and vice versa. Always expecting things to be 50/50 isnt realistic or healthy, its a partnership. 

This infant time can feel like eternity but it is the hardest time. Youll see massive changes in just a few months, then a few months after that. 
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