How do you get yourself to “turn off” work thoughts during weekends and after hours?

I'm a relatively new SDR with a software company and I know how important it is to separate work and personal life for a healthy balance. My manager and team especially stress how important it is to unplug and they essentially demand we don't work weekends, so it's not due to excessive demands from work. But I can't seem to shut off thoughts about work or what I need to do, how I can improve, or what I did wrong that I need to fix the next day/next week. it's really affecting my stress and anxiety during times where I should be experiencing the exact opposite and focusing on destressing. Part of it may be because I'm not performing as well as I'd like (I've been just short of quota the past couple months). Obviously I know that you can't 100% shut work out and there's sometimes responsibilities outside of regular hours, but that really hasn't been the case and it's mainly just in my own head. Would love to hear everybody's thoughts/advice!
🧠 Advice
🤗 Self-care
☁️ Software Tech
17
BasstheBear
Opinionated
4
Business Development Representative
First off I'd talk to your manager about it. Not only will it show that you are concerned and motivated to improve your performance but they might also have some tips. 

Beyond that, I would recommend finding a hobby and pouring yourself into that. Play a sport, read a book, draw, do something that relaxes you and takes your mind off of your day-to-day. 
Balltricks
Contributor
2
SDR
Thanks for the advice. I’ll definitely bring it up with my manager, sometimes I just need a reminder that that’s what he’s there for. I feel like I already do a decent job of occupying myself outside of work between working out, reading, and social life. To be more specific, it’s often times when I’m fully done for the day and lying in bed and left with my overly active thoughts. Maybe meditation should be the new hobby to calm that down. I appreciate it bass
Incognito
WR Officer
2
Master of Disaster
Yes! Meditation FTW!
BasstheBear
Opinionated
1
Business Development Representative
Yeah 100 percent feel this. It’s the moments when you’re in bed at the end of the day and you starting thinking about it. I have found breathing exercises help. Specifically the 4x4
SaaSsy
Politicker
0
AE
Definitely need a hobby to focus your time and also give you a positive when you have tough days. Also just remember that it’s sucks not hitting quota but it’s not a life or death situation - there’s always peaks and valleys no matter what company you work for 😁
Incognito
WR Officer
3
Master of Disaster
I think it’s okay for someone in your position to care that much - shows you’re hungry and that’s a very good thing! 

But definitely take one day on the weekend to take a break and walk away from all your electronics. I find that reading a fiction book in a pleasant atmosphere (whatever that means to you) takes your mind somewhere else. 

I also use it as fuel for my workouts - like if I’m upset about something at the office I channel that into pushing extra hard with the weights. Manifest that angst into literal physical exertion to get it out. 

Lastly, I have a rule that I don’t talk about work after 9pm. My partner is tied to my job (we mutually refer clients), so we could talk about work 24/7. I started enforcing that rule for our own sanity and it’s really helped. 
Do.it.for.the.checks
Politicker
2
Account Executive
Can I hire you?

But seriously if its actually negatively affecting your life, find a new profession now. If it's not embrace it.

Stress is just the ugly face of passion. Don't spend time thinking that its bad, spend time thinking how you can be better.

Sales passion, the ability to push your self positively is the best trait you can have in this profession.

The best artist wasn't born that way, they just never stopped improving.
Balltricks
Contributor
1
SDR
Thanks man. I don’t think it’s anything that I can’t get over, I always knew I wanted to go into sales and I think it just takes some adjusting to now that I’m fully into the beginning of my career. It’s definitely too early for the thought of quitting. I’ll keep putting in the work and hopefully as I find the success that I know I can achieve, that’ll start to fade away. Always appreciate the perspective
Do.it.for.the.checks
Politicker
2
Account Executive
One other trick that works for me. When you get stuck in the on switch, go use that to be productive. Prep for the next day, practice your pitch in front of a mirror, read a sales book, listen to a sales podcast, go purge your call list, build a new sequence, etc.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
2
🦊
Hide all work stuff. Laptop, notebooks, etc. Turn the company phone on silent. Out of sight out of mind will eventually happen.

As sales people we always have ideas which is awesome. Write it down and save it for Monday.
revenuehunter
Executive
1
Global Enterprise Sales
Balancing Work Life and Personal Life is important. Like @BasstheBear mentioned find a hobby, and while you're pursuing the hobby, make sure you're cut off from Digital World - No phones, No Laptops - nothing. When I go out for my bike rides, I make sure no to touch my phone in the entire ride/breaks apart from emergencies/photos. Another thing you can do is mark some time on your calendar which says "Do Not Schedule" or "Personal Time" every day. During the weekdays, it could be 1-2 hours and over the weekend like 15-18 hours. This helps in identifying the pockets of time when you don't have to work. And even if you are new, it's important to do expectation setting for the organisation you work for - so they know when you won't work and when you would. 
Kirby
Politicker
1
Sales Representative
With a new job, it’s normal to be constantly thinking about it. Your brain knows it’s important to you and there’s a lot to learn. As you get more comfortable in the role, it will be easier to turn your brain off on the weekends. Hell, it’ll get easier to turn your brain to only 20% engaged while you’re working and it won’t feel as intense all the time.
FlintIronstag
Notorious Answer
1
Chief Marketing Officer
Doesn’t happen. I’m on 24/7. Work life balance isn’t about being able to turn off work. Work life balance is being able to do what you want and afford whatever it costs when you choose to do it outside of work. People always confuse that. If I work 40 hours a week, live in an apartment and can never even afford one movie ticket a month. That’s a shitty work life balance. You have no balance, it’s all work. If I work 60 hours (on the clock) a week and 20-30 at home, but my house is big, I can drink what I want, my wife gets what she wants, my kids can go to private school & I can afford the boat/skis & trips to vacation spots when I have time. Then that’s a work life balance. Be poor with lots of free time is not a life I’d choose. I’d rather be wealthy with less spare time than the poor guy. Good luck!
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
I’m glad that you recognize that your lifestyle is your choice - for some, personal wealth isn’t as important to them. I mean, I’ve lived on $150k a month and $400 a month and each has its own positives and negatives. 
alecabral
Arsonist
1
Director - Digital Sales Transformation
You've gotten a ton of good advice I think @Balltricks ! I'll add my 2 cents: I do believe talking about it will help, and your manager is probably someone that should know about this, but I wouldn't stop there. If you can't unplug, maybe some light therapy could work. It doesn't need to be a shrink, you can actually just pick up a sport, or a hobby. That's also a type of therapy.

Meditation never worked for me, I just can't do it. I used to spend a lot of my free time thinking about my work, regardless of me being new or a senior. One day I figured there were so many things I hadn't done, I just had to force myself to do stuff other than working during the weekends. This was a few years ago, and my wife helped. We eventually got to the point of just not overworking during the week and definitely tunning out during weekends. 

So, TL/DR:

1. Talk to someone. Your manager is a good place to start
2. Find something you actually enjoy to occupy your time. If there's nothing that calls your attention, a therapist can help. Even a coach can.
3. If there's someone intimate you can "journey on" with this, go ahead :)

Good luck!
MiniSavage
Opinionated
0
Sales Manager
I don’t
MiniSavage
Opinionated
1
Sales Manager
This was for the title only 🙂

I had this issue as well, where I would basically spend all my weekends thinking how I can improve, researching techniques, hell it even got to a point where my mom would call me while I was asleep and sleepy me would just start talking to her about the deals I’m waiting on.. it was scary. Sales does this to more people you can think of, but what helped me was working out. After the workout I felt much better and my mind was cleared of off *work* thoughts. I suggest you speak to your manager about this and find a hobby/something out of ordinary in your day-to-day to do on the weekends. I promise you’ll be fine, this is beginner jitters mostly, and the poor performance you mentioned might be just the result of all these thoughts you mentioned! 
FeedTheKids
Politicker
0
Solutions Consultant
A job is what you make it... 

When your invested like this it's usually a good sign. Put alot in - gonna get alot out. 

Downside to this is getting burnt out. Bound to happen eventually, even when you find ways to unplug... Think it happens quicker and more frequently if you can't find ways to unplug. 

My trick - get active! Have things planned when your not at work. Go places/do things..... Sitting around watching Netflix on a Saturday will have you bored thinking about work shit. If you don't have any hobbies, pickup a side hustle. 
LordBusiness
Politicker
0
Chief Revenue Officer
I don't. I married a woman who knows what she married, and has by back for the whole ride.  The puzzle in my brain never stops being worked through.  I love my family, but would simply not be happy without something to keep my brain "working on".   
SaaSyBee
Politicker
0
Founder
Could not tell you as I'm here on a Saturday morning in the War Room

But really a lot of it is that you need to ask yourself: what's the worst thing that will happen if I don't work today? And then make a deliberate choice to either work for X hours or tasks and then be done or to realize that taking time for yourself is the best thing you can do for your career. 
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
0
Rolling 20's all day
The mrs. and I just took my dog for a run at the park, then came home and made a delicious cup of coffee. And now I’m downloading a new video game. The main thing is just have activities that you can do to focus on something else. Outside and physical helps. Or the gym. Listen to music. Write down all the things you’re worried about and then walk away from the paper. You might try meditation too.
sellingsellssold
Politicker
0
SDR
Do something that you love doing! I personally like hanging out with my friends and spending time outside
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