StonedColdCloser

Business Development Manager

How many times have you considered sending a real asshole prospect a spring loaded dick bomb?

I understand that is it end of the month, end of the quarter, yada yada. This question is, believe it or not, unrelated.

For those of you that aren't spoon fed your leads or opportunities and have to find them via various methods of cold out reach, how many times have you retaliated after a prospect was a real shitbag? I don't mean "Take me off your list *click*". I mean this person clearly has some serious issues and you happened to be the one that caught the brunt of their anger on more than one occasion.

https://pranksanonymous.com/

😂 Sales Humor

📞 Cold Calling

🙏 Mental Wellness

33 comments

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funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I had a call today with this prick who was aggro with me in the first five min of the intro call and who then tried to tell me how I'll sell my product to him and basically do my job. He can eat a big bag of smashed dicks.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Does that come with Cheese for them? like a smash burger? does it make it easier for them to consume?

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

Bravado's Resident Asshole

also... Where did you get your dicks from? The other foolish asstards that crossed you?

Justatitle

Big Shot

Account Executive

I told my manager one time to eat a whole bowl of dicks(disclaimer: they were texting me about sports when I did this ).

BmajoR

Arsonist

Account Executive

I've often thought about signing those people up for magazines or newsletters on topics they will hate. In the end I just chalk it up to shitty people and karma's going to get them.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I've thought of signing them up for Jehovah's Witness visits.

SaaSsy

Politicker

Haha yessssss! I've sent the Book of Mormon (free from their site) to bosses I've hated. It's strangely satisfying and completely harmless.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I know what my least favourite prospect is getting for Christmas this year!

inheaventhereisnobeer

Opinionated

Senior Account Executive

Sometimes...then I remind myself my W2 is probably 2x-5x more than theirs. It's worth dealing wither their shit to live my lifestyle. Just let it roll off your back and move on to someone that "gets it" and will make up for the bag of dicks you had to deal with.

Annonny

Big Shot

Account Executive

It happens....not often but when it does...sometimes I just wanna scream lol

paddy

WR Officer

Director of Business Development

Sounds like we need to add this to my list of people who deserve cruel and unusual torture.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Send them customized swag covered with extra glitter. And a sickening sweet hand written note.

Muah ha ha...

poweredbycaffeine

WR Lieutenant

☕️

Never a prospect, but got close with an old boss.

HappyGilmore

Politicker

Account Executive

I've thought about it sometimes then remember their lives are likely dogshit in some capacity.

youKNOW

Politicker

Sales Manager

Not necessarily a spring loaded dick bomb but a bag of human sh*t, for sure. Too many times to count. It's all part of the grind.

Macdaddy

Arsonist

Team Lead

Spring-loaded dick bombs are much too easy to spot. Someone once sent me a petrified turd though..... I tell ya, it got quite the reaction out of me.

Justatitle

Big Shot

Account Executive

theres a website where you can send different animal poop to people anonymously, I've never done it but I have been tempted.

CodyG43

Contributor

BDR

every time someone is overly aggressive with me I just apologize, tell them I'll try calling tomorrow. It is nice to get jerks to flip out over something so simple, but sometimes it actually works and people see it as me respecting their time and being patient

StringerBell

Politicker

Account Executive

Not worth the negative energy

Allisce

Tycoon

Account Executive

considering a deal I was counting on for EOQ was a coward and had his intern email me telling me they are not going with us... um yeah I've considered it

DrunkenArt

Politicker

Sales Representative

We usually call the absolute shit out of the annoying prospects. Nothing like 15 BDRs all bombarding a person with cold calls throughout the day.

looper1010

Celebrated Contributor

Solutions Specialist

I just wait for karma to catch up to them. But it's super tempting to mess with them

aSaaSinator

Good Citizen

Sales Director

If I sent a glitter bomb, my recipient would be the one a-hole that gets blinded and then he would sue me.

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StonedColdCloser

How many times have you considered sending a real asshole prospect a spring loaded dick bomb?

33 comments

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