How to be percived as less aggressive?

Hi all,


I just got a comment from my boss that last month I'm being percieved as "aggressive". The big problem is that I don't feel that way which is very worrisome because well ๐Ÿ˜… i don't see there is a problem.


That's why im coming here to get your feedback, i feel im doing things the same I was doing forever, I feel it's the new people who are not used to me maybe? But still I don't want them or this reputation to be used as an excuse for promotion in the future.


The new thing is the team added 4 memebers new into this industry and I feel they are the ones who communicated this to my boss. Since the timeline matches their onboarding.


That being said I will accept that maybe I am the problem so again here looking for advise?


Problem is I didn't hear this from any work channels but someone who knows mom and is the VP has called her to told her that.

๐Ÿก WFH
๐Ÿ’†โ€โ™‚ Mindset
๐Ÿง  Advice
9
Gottapumpthosenumbers
Opinionated
2
Biz Dev
This is really hard to offer feedback on because there's a big lack of context.

If I were you, I'd ask for examples (in earnest, of course). If this is something that your boss truly feels you can improve on, and they acually have your best interest in mind, they'll be able to give you tangible, actionable feedback for you to work with.

Then, once you have real situations to refelct on, the community here can better help you in improving your positioning in your verbiage. Hope this is helpful!
SalesPharaoh
Big Shot
0
Senior Account Executive
Yes it is helpful, ill wait to have that conversation.
Gottapumpthosenumbers
Opinionated
0
Biz Dev
I'm curious- why wait to have that conversation?
SalesPharaoh
Big Shot
0
Senior Account Executive
I learned about this not via work channels but via personal circle...so what I heard is that the VP wants to have a talk with me about that...and I wasn't supposed to know about this aggression thing
Gottapumpthosenumbers
Opinionated
0
Biz Dev
Gottttt it. Makes sense. Good luck!
braintank
Politicker
1
Enterprise Account Executive
Was the feedback in the context of internal or external style? Are you being to aggressive with your teammates or with clients?
SalesPharaoh
Big Shot
0
Senior Account Executive
Internal style...i don't think im aggressive with clients. The feedback was mostly for my internal interaction. Bear in mind we are all WFH so most of my communication is chatting using teams
braintank
Politicker
1
Enterprise Account Executive
That's tough. I've been guilty of this too, particularly over slack. It's hard to convey emotion and tone unless you laden every message with emojis and gifs. What you type in jest may be come across as aggressive or condescending when the recipient reads it. My advice:

1) take it to the phone or zoom, so they can use nonverbal cues.

2) think before you type. I know I tend to shoot from the hip on slack becuase we're all isolated and starved for attention. However, sometimes it's better to just hold your tounge.
looper1010
Celebrated Contributor
1
Solutions Specialist
Is there any more to the story?ย  It's kinda hard to reply without more background info.ย  Is it a matter of being too pushy?ย  Notย empathetic enough?ย  Do you raise your voice?ย  Cut people off?ย ย 

Talk to the team and get their feedback.ย  Perhaps schedule some informal 1:1s like getting a coffee or lunch.ย ย 
SalesPharaoh
Big Shot
0
Senior Account Executive
Yea i noticed im not giving context apoligies on that. The problem is that we are working from home so I guess I might be a bit pushy. But i never raised my voice because I never have that much calls.ย 
Blackwargreymon
Politicker
1
MDR
Is there any more to the story?ย  It's kinda hard to reply without more background info.
MaximumRaizer
Politicker
1
Sales Manager
Was the feedback in the context of internal or external style?
Clashingsoulsspell
Politicker
1
ISR
Then, once you have real situations to refelct on, the community here can better help you in improving your positioning in your verbiage. Hope this is helpful!
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
0
War Room Enthusiast
If itโ€™s off the phone itโ€™s really hard to express oneโ€™s emotion, exclamation marks and other signes help a bit in this regardย 
SalesPharaoh
Big Shot
0
Senior Account Executive
But the thing is, we are WFH so everything is over the phone or microsoft teams
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
1
War Room Enthusiast
Over the phone is easier with entonation. On teams itโ€™s harder since only 7% of what you say is written language. The rest is 33% verbal communication and 40% is non verbal communications - My Senior Managerย 
MR.StretchISR
Politicker
0
ISR
Was the feedback in the context of internal or external style? Are you being to aggressive with your teammates or with clients?
Mr.Floaty
Politicker
0
BDR
I work with CPaaS, but I normally don't try to reach out through SMS, I haven't really tried to see how it goes to be honest. Why do you ask?
0

Micromanaging Passive Aggressive Manager - What are my options to tackle this?

Advice
6
12

Glassdoor is much less trust worthy these days...

Discussion
15
12

Most annoying confrontation with boss / higher ups

Discussion
20