I came home to a bear in the house yesterday

Quick warning, this has absolutely nothing to do with sales so if thats what you're looking for, go ahead and stop reading here.


12pm yesterday rolls around and Im hungry, fridge is empty, and fiance is on a work call so I figure Ill be a good gentleman and go grab some lunch from the local deli.


We have a 6 month old puppy so I leave our sliding glass door to our deck open all day so he can go in and out throughout the day and I head out. I get home 15 minutes later, sando in hand. and the dog is barking like crazy and there is a ton of noise and commotion at the house. I thought we were getting robbed.


Fiance calls me and asks where I am telling me she thinks a bear is in the house. Im now up on our deck about to walk in the front door and look over the side of the deck and sure enough a bear is just on the side of our house. This is nothing new as we live in the mountains and see bears all the time so I tell her bear is outside, all is good.


She insists there is one still inside so I walk in the side door, yell "YO BEAR" and sure enough a year old cub is starring me down. Hes scared, Im scared, dog is scared, fiance is scared and the bear just belines it for the door where he entered. Minor issue, Im between the bear and the door, he just about runs me over, I manage to get out of the way and he jumps off the deck.


Now we have the mom and her sub circling our house looking for food for the next hour. Fun stuff.


If youre still with me, thanks for reading along.


Anyone else ever come home to an unexpected guest?

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39
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
13
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
During college, I was living in a house share with some friends. Came back from a bar one night, crashed out in bed for a couple of hours and then woke up with the mother of all dry mouth so went downstairs.ย 

Get a glass of water and then something licks my hand, nearly leap out of my skin.ย 

Turns out there's this random fucking golden retriever behind me (we did not have a dog).ย 

Anyway, I go up to bed close my door only for the golden retriever to keep scratching it.ย 

My tired and still kinda drunk ass just wants it to stop.ย 

I open the door, dog hops on the bed at this point I don't care.ย 

So it's now me and a golden retriever that I don't know in a double bed.ย 

I then wake up to this girl I've never seen before asking why her dog is in my room.ย 

Weird night.ย 

11/10 for comfort though.ย 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
5
SaaS Eater
This is this shit I was looking for. Well played.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
5
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
With enough alcohol and enough nights out, nearly any situation is possible
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
5
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
Pretty sure in some states what you just described would be grounds for a mandatory mental health evaluation.ย 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
5
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
but not florida.ย 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
5
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
So long as you didn't get hepatitis I guess it sounds like a good night
CuriousFox
WR Officer
4
๐ŸฆŠ
This is a no judgement zone.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
4
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
There's no judgement and then some judgement.ย 

This is kinda a some judgement zoneย 
paddy
WR Officer
5
Director of Business Development
Do u want me to kick this bear's ass?
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
5
SaaS Eater
Does said bear shit in the woods?
jefe
Arsonist
3
๐Ÿ
Hopefully, and not in your kitchen....
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
3
SaaS Eater
A bear shitting in my kitchen was probably one of the more desirable outcomes considering what could have happened haha
jefe
Arsonist
2
๐Ÿ
Yea when you look at alternative options that's probably at the top....
paddy
WR Officer
1
Director of Business Development
Does the pope shit in the woods is my question
CuriousFox
WR Officer
5
๐ŸฆŠ
Does a one night stand that has overstayed their welcome count? ๐Ÿ‘€
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
Absolutely!ย 
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
4
Sales
Jesus dude. Scared baby usually means angry mom. Stay safeย 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
Ya Thankfully the mom stayed down on the side of the deck and not up into the house or I would have been fucked.
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
3
Rolling 20's all day
NPR did a good piece on bears and mountain towns last week... now you're a statistic!
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
4
SaaS Eater
haha we see bears probably 2-3 times a week. Saw one two nights ago on the way home from dinner digging in someones trash that didnt properly dispose of it. But breaking into the house when someone is home is a rarity.
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
2
Rolling 20's all day
That's a key feature. The average person and average bear intelligence has significant overlap so making a bear proof garbage can is tough.
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
3
SaaS Eater
Youd be surprised what a bear can find its way into. Including my kitchen.ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
3
๐ŸฆŠ
If I came home to a bear inside my home that would be 70 levels of fucked up. They ain't around these parts.
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
Would be worth the price of admission
NoSuperhero
Politicker
2
BDR LEAD
HOlly shit that's so crazy! I'm happy to hear you're ok but do be careful from now on though, Bears have a tendency to come back when they find a reasonable amount of food and it's a plus if it has easy access. The best suggestion I can give you is to call wildlife management and they'll find the bear and detur it to a safer location for people AND the bear.ย 

Dunno if you already did that or not but it's one of the first things I'd do.
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
Ya it was wild. The area we live is pretty deep in bear territory and we are able to co exist pretty well. We have some bear deterrent stuff on the house already for this reason, but that stuff only works if its turned on lol and I normally didnt have it on durning the day because of the puppy but thats going to change now.ย 

Wildlife management had already tagged the cub and is monitoring them. We just try not to feed them (failed in this case lol) and normally its a non issue.ย 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
My favorite:ย  years ago when I was young and had roommates, getting home late one night from a restaurant job, into the dark hillside flat.ย  Roommate calls:ย  I think there's a skunk in the house.ย  ย Me:ย  ok, that sounds fun.ย  Roommate:ย  I think it might be under my bed.ย  Can you check?ย  ย Me:ย  .....

Think I want to look under the bed and get an eyeful of skunk?

Passed through room, into my own room, locked the doors and went to sleep.
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
3
SaaS Eater
....... and what happened? No way that skunk just became a house pet.ย 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
LOL.ย  Though they are cute.ย  I don't think there was a skunk there that night, but at that time of the night, I was going to let it just exit.

That apartment was awesome.ย  It was a flat in a converted Victorian.ย  We had a deck that ran along the back side of the unit that enabled any critter in the area to stroll in if we left the doors open, which was one of the only downsides.

A few years later, I didn't have that roommate any more and I did have a young cat who was a bit of a holy terror.ย  ย I hear a bit of a commotion on the deck, and sure enough, my cat is out there, in a standoff with a skunk.ย  The skunk would like to come into the apartment, the cat is between the skunk and the doors.ย  ย Cat is doing the low growl, skunk is stamping its feet and popping its rump and upright tail at the cat, not yet spraying but threatening to.ย  My husband:ย  what do we do?ย  ย Me:ย  the cat is on his own.ย  Proceeds to shut windows and doors and watch from inside.

Fortunately, the cat won the stare down and the skunk left without incident.

A few weeks later, I'm minding my own business at the dining room table, and in strolls a skunk, sniffing along the ground, into the house.ย  ย One really doesn't want to startle a skunk, so clearing of throat noises from me to alert it to my presence.ย  Skunk:ย  oh, oops, what am I doing here?ย  Uneventful retreat.ย  ย I walk behind it to close the door ... and sitting on top of his cat tree, right next to the open door, that same cat who had issues with the skunk just a little while ago, just watching.ย  ย Bad cat!
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
hahaha oh man, thats all awesome. Ill be honest. I would rather have bear issues than skunk issues lol. Id rather have to rebuild my kitchen then deal with that smell.
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
I was loving your story, though.ย  I'm glad it worked out.ย ย 

But the funny thing is, I know there are bears seemingly everywhere, but I am apparently a personal bear repellant.ย  ย I live in an area where we get a lot of wildlife.ย  I've seen just about everything in my neighborhood, all the way up to bobcats and foxes.ย  ย When I was younger, I did a ton of camping, and I travel to a lot of NPs and scenic areas: VT, NH, ME, MT, UT, WA, AK,CA etc.ย  And up until this summer and another trip to Yellowstone, I'd never seen a bear.ย  I've been everywhere bears are.ย  Heck, in Tahoe, they've sauntered into grocery stores.ย  Alaska, the trail said not to carry food due to bears.ย  No bears.ย  So it was a HUGE deal to finally see one after all this time.ย ย 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
Haha glad you finally saw one! Ya I live in Tahoe and they are all over the place.ย 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Yes, I know, except for when I'm around.ย  Yosemite, too.ย  No bears, I swear.ย ย 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
Leave some red meat out, I promise they will show up haha
Sunbunny31
Politicker
1
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Maybe that's where I've gone wrong in the past!
sugardaddy
Politicker
1
Head of Sales
Haha. Good shit!
jefe
Arsonist
1
๐Ÿ
Where tf do you live!?

Great story, riveted throughout.

Glad people and puppies are all safe!
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
4
SaaS Eater
haha I live in Lake Tahoe. Thankfully everyone is all goodย 
jefe
Arsonist
1
๐Ÿ
Thanks, saw that when I expanded a thread after posting.

Hope your weekend is a tad less eventful
Jewcan_Sam81
Politicker
1
Account Executive
Once came home to my wife hanging out with an old friend from college that Iโ€™d spent 5 years hearing about how this girl basically got down with everyone at Pepperdine, male and female, young and oldโ€ฆwith no warning I couldnโ€™t prep myself to meet her for the first timeโ€ฆI think possible I handled it okay, maybe
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
Lol that might be harder to handle than an unexpected bear.
Jewcan_Sam81
Politicker
0
Account Executive
Yeah, I didnโ€™t handle it well
Diablo
Politicker
1
Sr. AE
I don't have a story but I could literally imagine myself in your shoe. Home safari - crazy and scary.
WomenWantMeFishFearMe
Politicker
1
AM
Your bed was just right
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
Hahaha
sellingsellssold
Politicker
1
SDR
WOW this is crazy!! I have relatives that live in the mountains and have bears in their backyard and even in the pool before but never inside. I would have freaked out, good for you for staying calm.ย 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
Calm is a relative term haha. But ya we see bears all the time, not usually in houses though!ย 
TheHypnotist
Executive
1
Sales Manager
Cockroaches are about as wild as it gets where I live.... they used to come in under the front door until we started washing the floor out front with a cleaning product that is laced with insecticide.
My wife and daughter scream like banshees every time they see one.... We also get geckos and other small lizards but I think they are pretty cool.
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
Ya I'm out on the cockroaches as well, no thank you
SADNESSLieutenant
Politicker
1
Officer of โ™ฅ๏ธ
OMFG 'YO BEAR' lmaooooooo
justatopproducer
Politicker
0
VP OF SALES -US
Heck yeh
cw95
Politicker
0
Sales Development Lead
Was his porridge too hot or just right?
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
Too hot for sure
cw95
Politicker
1
Sales Development Lead
Hahaha
LordBusiness
Politicker
0
Chief Revenue Officer
That's crazy shit right there.ย ย 
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