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I came home to a bear in the house yesterday

Quick warning, this has absolutely nothing to do with sales so if thats what you're looking for, go ahead and stop reading here.


12pm yesterday rolls around and Im hungry, fridge is empty, and fiance is on a work call so I figure Ill be a good gentleman and go grab some lunch from the local deli.


We have a 6 month old puppy so I leave our sliding glass door to our deck open all day so he can go in and out throughout the day and I head out. I get home 15 minutes later, sando in hand. and the dog is barking like crazy and there is a ton of noise and commotion at the house. I thought we were getting robbed.


Fiance calls me and asks where I am telling me she thinks a bear is in the house. Im now up on our deck about to walk in the front door and look over the side of the deck and sure enough a bear is just on the side of our house. This is nothing new as we live in the mountains and see bears all the time so I tell her bear is outside, all is good.


She insists there is one still inside so I walk in the side door, yell "YO BEAR" and sure enough a year old cub is starring me down. Hes scared, Im scared, dog is scared, fiance is scared and the bear just belines it for the door where he entered. Minor issue, Im between the bear and the door, he just about runs me over, I manage to get out of the way and he jumps off the deck.


Now we have the mom and her sub circling our house looking for food for the next hour. Fun stuff.


If youre still with me, thanks for reading along.


Anyone else ever come home to an unexpected guest?

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37
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
I came home once to an unwanted female guest but that one was human, although just as crazy so
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Had a feeling this might be a common response.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+13
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Yeah but to be fair, this one was a roommates and not mine lmao
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UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater

This comment was removed

InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Was she a redhead? I hear they're the polar bears of the female world. If you see one you're already dead. 
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InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
During college, I was living in a house share with some friends. Came back from a bar one night, crashed out in bed for a couple of hours and then woke up with the mother of all dry mouth so went downstairs. 

Get a glass of water and then something licks my hand, nearly leap out of my skin. 

Turns out there's this random fucking golden retriever behind me (we did not have a dog). 

Anyway, I go up to bed close my door only for the golden retriever to keep scratching it. 

My tired and still kinda drunk ass just wants it to stop. 

I open the door, dog hops on the bed at this point I don't care. 

So it's now me and a golden retriever that I don't know in a double bed. 

I then wake up to this girl I've never seen before asking why her dog is in my room. 

Weird night. 

11/10 for comfort though. 
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
This is this shit I was looking for. Well played.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+9
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
With enough alcohol and enough nights out, nearly any situation is possible
Show 8 more replies
paddy
WR Officer
+11
Account Executive
Do u want me to kick this bear's ass?
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Does said bear shit in the woods?
jefe
Politicker
+8
Sales Director
Hopefully, and not in your kitchen....
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CuriousFox
WR Officer
+12
Senior Account Executive
Does a one night stand that has overstayed their welcome count? 👀
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Absolutely! 
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+10
AE of B2B
NPR did a good piece on bears and mountain towns last week... now you're a statistic!
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
haha we see bears probably 2-3 times a week. Saw one two nights ago on the way home from dinner digging in someones trash that didnt properly dispose of it. But breaking into the house when someone is home is a rarity.
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+10
AE of B2B
That's a key feature. The average person and average bear intelligence has significant overlap so making a bear proof garbage can is tough.
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1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
+6
Senior Director, Enterprise Technology
Jesus dude. Scared baby usually means angry mom. Stay safe 
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Ya Thankfully the mom stayed down on the side of the deck and not up into the house or I would have been fucked.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+12
Senior Account Executive
If I came home to a bear inside my home that would be 70 levels of fucked up. They ain't around these parts.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Would be worth the price of admission
NoSuperhero
Politicker
+7
BDR
HOlly shit that's so crazy! I'm happy to hear you're ok but do be careful from now on though, Bears have a tendency to come back when they find a reasonable amount of food and it's a plus if it has easy access. The best suggestion I can give you is to call wildlife management and they'll find the bear and detur it to a safer location for people AND the bear. 

Dunno if you already did that or not but it's one of the first things I'd do.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Ya it was wild. The area we live is pretty deep in bear territory and we are able to co exist pretty well. We have some bear deterrent stuff on the house already for this reason, but that stuff only works if its turned on lol and I normally didnt have it on durning the day because of the puppy but thats going to change now. 

Wildlife management had already tagged the cub and is monitoring them. We just try not to feed them (failed in this case lol) and normally its a non issue. 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
+4
Sales Executive
My favorite:  years ago when I was young and had roommates, getting home late one night from a restaurant job, into the dark hillside flat.  Roommate calls:  I think there's a skunk in the house.   Me:  ok, that sounds fun.  Roommate:  I think it might be under my bed.  Can you check?   Me:  .....

Think I want to look under the bed and get an eyeful of skunk?

Passed through room, into my own room, locked the doors and went to sleep.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
....... and what happened? No way that skunk just became a house pet. 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
+4
Sales Executive
LOL.  Though they are cute.  I don't think there was a skunk there that night, but at that time of the night, I was going to let it just exit.

That apartment was awesome.  It was a flat in a converted Victorian.  We had a deck that ran along the back side of the unit that enabled any critter in the area to stroll in if we left the doors open, which was one of the only downsides.

A few years later, I didn't have that roommate any more and I did have a young cat who was a bit of a holy terror.   I hear a bit of a commotion on the deck, and sure enough, my cat is out there, in a standoff with a skunk.  The skunk would like to come into the apartment, the cat is between the skunk and the doors.   Cat is doing the low growl, skunk is stamping its feet and popping its rump and upright tail at the cat, not yet spraying but threatening to.  My husband:  what do we do?   Me:  the cat is on his own.  Proceeds to shut windows and doors and watch from inside.

Fortunately, the cat won the stare down and the skunk left without incident.

A few weeks later, I'm minding my own business at the dining room table, and in strolls a skunk, sniffing along the ground, into the house.   One really doesn't want to startle a skunk, so clearing of throat noises from me to alert it to my presence.  Skunk:  oh, oops, what am I doing here?  Uneventful retreat.   I walk behind it to close the door ... and sitting on top of his cat tree, right next to the open door, that same cat who had issues with the skunk just a little while ago, just watching.   Bad cat!
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sugardaddy
Politicker
+9
Head Of Sales
Haha. Good shit!
jefe
Politicker
+8
Sales Director
Where tf do you live!?

Great story, riveted throughout.

Glad people and puppies are all safe!
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
haha I live in Lake Tahoe. Thankfully everyone is all good 
jefe
Politicker
+8
Sales Director
Thanks, saw that when I expanded a thread after posting.

Hope your weekend is a tad less eventful
Jewcan_Sam81
Opinionated
+6
Account Executive
Once came home to my wife hanging out with an old friend from college that I’d spent 5 years hearing about how this girl basically got down with everyone at Pepperdine, male and female, young and old…with no warning I couldn’t prep myself to meet her for the first time…I think possible I handled it okay, maybe
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Lol that might be harder to handle than an unexpected bear.
Jewcan_Sam81
Opinionated
+6
Account Executive
Yeah, I didn’t handle it well
Diablo
Politicker
+7
Sales
I don't have a story but I could literally imagine myself in your shoe. Home safari - crazy and scary.
WomenWantMeFishFearMe
Politicker
+4
SDR LXIX
Your bed was just right
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Hahaha
se
sellingsellssold
Politicker
+7
SDR
WOW this is crazy!! I have relatives that live in the mountains and have bears in their backyard and even in the pool before but never inside. I would have freaked out, good for you for staying calm. 
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Calm is a relative term haha. But ya we see bears all the time, not usually in houses though! 
TheHypnotist
Opinionated
+2
Sales Manager
Cockroaches are about as wild as it gets where I live.... they used to come in under the front door until we started washing the floor out front with a cleaning product that is laced with insecticide.
My wife and daughter scream like banshees every time they see one.... We also get geckos and other small lizards but I think they are pretty cool.
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Ya I'm out on the cockroaches as well, no thank you
ju
justatopproducer
Opinionated
+3
National Consultant
Heck yeh
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Was his porridge too hot or just right?
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+8
SaaS Eater
Too hot for sure
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Hahaha
LordBusiness
Politicker
+8
Chief Revenue Officer
That's crazy shit right there.  
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