wolfdad

Senior Account Executive

I hope purgatory exists for marketers

I wish that there is a purgatory for marketers so that when they die they need to reflect on all the false promises and non-sense ad copy they have put. For example anytime some writes "Worlds best {insert product}" or "there's never been a better time to {insert action/product}" they would need spend X number of hours reflecting on their poor advertising choices.

This has been inspired by my current employer that put assembled packages for our channel partners to sell with names like "BlastOff", "Ignition", "Stratosphere",... It's as if the marketing team is trying to make it as hard as possible for a new user to understand what to sell.

What's your favorite thing marketers in your organization have done?

😂 Sales Humor

📨 Marketing

💩 Shitpost

25 comments

Sort by:

Filth

Politicker

Live Filthy or Die Clean

My favorite thing is they put all outbound marketing emails from my mailbox so I get to go through 1 million auto responses and 2 million death threats lol.

Filth

Politicker

Live Filthy or Die Clean

Not to mention the fact that I can be talking to a prospect and they get an email from me at the exact same time...fun conversations commence.

ClutchDeluxe

Valued Contributor

asking people for money

Lmao I can’t even IMAGINE

Filth

Politicker

Live Filthy or Die Clean

It's wild let me tell you. The pivoting explaining it to prospects requires stretching and the crazy numbers you see next to inbox folders kill your soul a bit, assuming you have one, we are salespeople after all.

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

Officer of ♥️

a favorite thing marketing has done doesn't exist

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

Directed me to waste my time driving around to client’s offices handing out random branded junk that nobody gives a fuck about. Spoiler alert: the junk got tossed in the back room snd never looked at by me again.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Trade you some of your branded junk for the branded junk I still have from my former company.

Actually some of it is nice...I just don't need 10 nice travel mugs.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Let's just mail each other our ex branded shit and let it be a surprise.

Filth

Politicker

Live Filthy or Die Clean

I love this idea, worthless marketing swag roulette.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Ok you're in too.

funcoupons

WR Officer

👑

I’m down

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Knew you would be 🦊

TennisandSales

Politicker

Head Of Sales

give me shit to post on linked in.......

Marketing: "here sales person put this on your personal linked in"
Me: "cool, is it helpful in anyway to our buyer?"
Marketing: "ummm idk its for brand awareness"
Me: "ok will it help them understand why we are different?"
Marketing: "ummm idk its for brand awareness"
Me:........ its a no for me dog.

wolfdad

Contributor

Senior Account Executive

Classic.

Lioness

Good Citizen

Sr Field Enterprise Account Executive

Marketers should have to carry a bag before becoming marketers. The things they don't know is ridiculous.

Notmyrealname

Politicker

"Let's put their name in the email subject and bold+underline it in the copy so they know it's personalised"

wolfdad

Contributor

Senior Account Executive

It's the way I have emailed my mom for years.

Subject: MOM THERE'S NEVER BEEN A BETTER TIME FOR FAMILY DINNER!!!!!

Notmyrealname

Politicker

Hello mom,

Did you know that over half the families on this street have family dinner?

Here's why all these other families say family dinner is the best meal they ever invested in.

Here are a load of links to all of our marketing content.

(insert vidyard clip)

When are you free to meet me? I will call you over the next few days to organise a meeting. Also you can book a meeting using my calendar link below.

(forget calendar link)

Yours truly

DungeonsNDemos

Big Shot

Rolling 20's all day

I feel that just about every marketer has a serious case of cognitive dissonance.

Cabbie

Good Citizen

AE (Account Executive)

I used be an SDR for a company which sold across 3 different buyer personas, for 3 different products - sales, marketing & IT. All with multiple stakeholders within the businesses.

We were running a webinar at one point for just one of those products, and someone had the genius idea to send an email from the AEs emails to every customer we had.

Across all 3 buyer personas.

Some in the same company.

Some mid-way through cross-sell from one department to another.

Some midway through renewal.

Everyone from C-suite to shitkickers.

The only personalisation being a wall of copy which assumed that the person was one of those buying personas.

Absolute chaos ensued for the next week and a half.

wolfdad

Contributor

Senior Account Executive

Oh no, that's horrible.

goldenlazard

Politicker

Senior SDR

Oof I’m in a similar boat selling to HR, Marketers, and Virgins/IT
Did you find success focussing on one persona? Or did you stab at all of them equally?

Cabbie

Good Citizen

AE (Account Executive)

I think all the salespeople in the organisation had their preference; but I'd break it up in waves.

So, like, one fortnight/month I'd focus on one target audience; the next on another; and so on. Just meant I was able to get into a rhythm with my talk track.

Having said that, after the pandemic kicked off - it became pretty obvious that one of our products was way more urgent (an almost essential digital marketing enhancement) so tbh we almost ignored the others in favour of that one. The traction was just too good to bother shifting attention to the others.

Management wasn't thrilled but it's hard to argue with closed business so 🤷

Lioness

Good Citizen

Sr Field Enterprise Account Executive

The marketing team would send out promotions for 10-20% off to everyone who had taken a trial... including the people I'd already closed at full price.

More than once, I had someone calling back about applying the discount retroactively.

I spoke to marketing about cross-referencing the list who was receiving these offers against those who had purchased. Never happened.

playerone

Politicker

Regional Account Executive

The one sheets they started coming out with have been pretty rad actually.

Bravado is a community of trusted sales professionals endorsed by their customers.

Products

The War Room Jobs Salary Guide Tech Sales U

Company

About Us How It Works Blog Bug Bounty

Contact

Press Careers

If you are hired as a contract sales rep by a Bravado customer, we may ask you to prove access to the employee email account provided to you by that customer. This data will be shared with customers to track your sales productivity; customers can use this data to confirm you meet the minimum activity requirements to pay out your ramp stipend and commission.