Im sad, what now?

I'm just so tired of being alone and sad man.

It just seems like I cant find what satisfies me, like I've lost my lust for life, I don't want to be happy or sad, I dont even want to be.

I think back to growing up and having fun, falling in love, throwing off my cares, then how I landed in sales eventually, grinded, and am starting to get all the things that on the outside make it look like you have a good life but in reality it's just sad, whats a nice car, clothes, money, & houses without someone to share that with?

I obviously have friends and family but thats not the same. I try not to think about the love of my life that I ruined, or about the lack of love in my life in general or about how I've lost interest in 99% of girls and those who I am interested in are not interested in me.

I try to just keep my head up and keep dialing and like I get through it most of the time but lately it's just been so glaringly evident how lonely and sad I am, like I dont feel like I can tell people how I actually feel like being a unique person is just alienating and I should just become more basic or like just stop trying and give in to my sadness.