In-person Sales Kickoff, really toxic work environment, confrontational coworkers, need advice.

So I've been lucky to be remote but fate has it, I was not able to skip the company's sales kickoff this year. We were supposed to have it in-person back in January but I took some personal time off due to certain personal events from 2021 (plus I needed it and manager okay'd it). New COVID variant cancelled Sales Kickoff for the whole company and now we are having it in-person.


I am legit thinking of telling my boss I came down with COVID to avoid it last second but then they would just get suspicious because, well, two times in a row.


My work environment, outside of like 4 coworkers I plan on spending most of my time with, is very toxic. It is hardcore bro culture, like the prank you Jackass style type and my direct manager seems to laugh at that sort of stuff. Other sales AEs are old school Oracle bro types. I won't get too much into it but let's just say that racism, sexism, and bigotry are not out of the question.


If it was not for the fact that I've made a decent chunk of change due to my performance, I'd have quit yesterday. Like I legit do not want to be anywhere near most of these people but at this point, I practically have to be.


I suck at dealing with people internally, does anyone have any advice for me to make this sales kickoff go by fast?


Like I do not even want to go out to bars and clubs with the team and want to find every excuse to avoid it.


Does anyone have some advice on dealing with this kind of a situation?

🙏 Mental Wellness
☁️ Software Tech
🤘 Personal Growth
13
paddy
WR Officer
10
Director of Business Development
Don't fraternize with them, simple. Just go to work, do your job, and leave. 
BitcoinAddict
Opinionated
2
AE
I'll have to find a way to do this successfully and most importantly, using some tact.
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
7
🔪Amateur Butcher🔪
But wait! Sign up for @paddy ‘s 69 minute Sales Coaching Clinic RIGHT NOW and we’ll throw in the “How to tell your boss to FUCK OFF” handbook for FREE. Just 4 easy payments of $420.69 😁 + S&H + @funcoupons Royalty Fee of $69
funcoupons
WR Officer
5
👑
💅 I take payment in ass, gas, or grass. 
paddy
WR Officer
4
Director of Business Development
@RealPatrickBateman  Would you like a job conducting my infomercials? I killed the last guy who did them because he looked at me funny so there's an open role rn
RealPatrickBateman
Politicker
2
🔪Amateur Butcher🔪
Sure, lets talk offline. I can provide you with my extensive production references from the Adult Film industry. 
funcoupons
WR Officer
3
👑
I'll have his secretary DM you..oh wait lolzzzz
Sunbunny31
Politicker
7
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
Yikes.    Other than the day time sessions, where I assume you will sit with your buds,  I'd honestly just dip on the outings and/or leave early.  Step out to make an important call, and then just don't return.  Or - you're working on an important presentation and might be able to join them later...and then just don't.  If asked, you could come up with "I worked on it until about 8, then just fell asleep in the chair watching the game.  You know how it is." or similar.

BitcoinAddict
Opinionated
0
AE
I like the idea except, truthfully, I do not have anything to be working on or a presentation or an important call (since I am relatively new to the AE role after being an SDR here for a while and working closely with my manager). I'll definitely have to get creative here.
Sunbunny31
Politicker
1
Sr Sales Executive 🐰
OK, you have "friends in town" you could be meeting up with?   A sporting or theater event you could attend instead in the evening?
braintank
Politicker
4
Enterprise Account Executive
As others said, just dip out.

People aren't going to be looking for you. Especially once they have a few drinks in them.

If anyone asks where your were (they won't) there are myriad of good excuses in this post.

My go to's are: tired/jet lag (night one), call from kids/spouse/family (day 2), tired/early flight (day 3).
ChunkyButters
Tycoon
1
AE
Adding those 3 in that order to my bag of excuses to not socialize
CuriousFox
WR Officer
4
🦊
Keep your head down, do your job, and go back to your hotel room.
funcoupons
WR Officer
1
👑
And take a long, hot shower.
Gyro25
Notorious Answer
3
Account Executive
Head down, do your job, use any excuse to dip. All these "sales bros" are deeply insecure dudes that usually peaked in Highschool, but ended up in sales somehow. Not everyone is like that and you should be proud. You're killing it, keep doing your job and let the smooth brains measure their pp's whilst you dip out.
BitcoinAddict
Opinionated
1
AE
You took the words out of my mouth, so many of the types in sales that peaked in high school and somehow ended up in sales.
Pachacuti
Politicker
2
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
show up just for the SKO sessions and tell them you have family commitments for any after hours stuff, or that you're meeting an old HS or college friend for dinner.  
BitcoinAddict
Opinionated
2
AE
wait can I legitimately do that without getting fired for being a "bad team player"?
0PercentCloseRate
Politicker
6
Oh boy
I mean, I hope you're joking here. You don't have to attend after-hours stuff if you don't want to. You can't get fired for not doing optional things.
Pachacuti
Politicker
2
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
I don’t know what they’ll say about you but I have ducked out from plenty of similar events by saying I have a FaceTime appt with my kids.
playerone
Politicker
0
Regional Account Executive
Yeah just don’t go. Been there many times myself.
SADNESSLieutenant
Politicker
0
Officer of ♥️
just tell them u have a girlfirend or you dont drink or better yet, tell them you don't like them, find them to be offensive, and would rather spend a night in coups dungeon filling out your Salesforce than with them
Justatitle
Big Shot
0
Account Executive
Show up, save face, go to hotel room or whatever on your own…
thetopperformer
Executive
0
Enterprise Account Executive
We had our SKO in January, but luckily it was remote. It was sooo much better to turn it on and tune out on the useless stuff they were sharing. I have gotten almost zero value from the SKOs at this company.

Now we have a new sheriff in town that now wants to do regional mid-year SKOs at every office and is requiring everyone to attend in-person.

I thought about the ol' "I can't, I have COVID" approach too. The thing is that I am actually out of the country for 4 months. My boss knows, and since I am already at my annual number just said to not attend and no one will care.

Now, for the next challenge: requiring the whole sales team to come in-office minimum 1 day a week. Sooo not going to happen!