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jefe
Arsonist
10
๐Ÿ
Back in the '90s my dad told us that each pot light cost $1/hour it was on.

My brother was so happy to call him out when he started paying his own utilities.
SaaSam
Politicker
6
Account Executive
Haha, becoming a dad has granted amazing insight into how full of shit dads can be.
jefe
Arsonist
4
๐Ÿ
I believe it. Also unlocks a whole lotta jokes
SaaSam
Politicker
3
Account Executive
It does, they're near involuntary at this point.
braintank
Politicker
9
Enterprise Account Executive
This all hits so hard.ย 

Along the same line Mrs. Tank sent me this last night:


Sunbunny31
Politicker
6
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
OMG, I can totally gaslight my husband at this point, if I was so inclined.ย  He remembers exactly nothing.ย  Ever.
SaaSam
Politicker
3
Account Executive
Man, if I had a dollar for every time this happened to me I could pay for all of the wasted electricity from open doors and lights being left on.
TennisandSales
Politicker
7
Head Of Sales
dude......i googled "how to take care of your lawn" for the first time 2 weeks ago.....and now im obsessed haha.ย 
SaaSam
Politicker
4
Account Executive
The more I think about it the more evident how advanced my evolution has become. The dad noises that come out of me would make you think I have kids in high school. There is no getting up or laying down without an exaggerated grunt. When the hell did that start?
CaneWolf
Politicker
1
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
I make those noises and I'm single...
Sunbunny31
Politicker
6
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Things your parents said that you never thought would come out of your mouth (until they do):ย  "Doors are NOT TOYS".
SaaSam
Politicker
3
Account Executive
I jokingly said, "I'm not paying to cool off the whole neighborhood," when my wife left the door open yesterday. I had no idea what had just been unleashed.
antiASKHOLE
Tycoon
5
Bravado's Resident Asshole
I read the headline and thought this one was going to get dark like real quick ".... and I finally decided to leave to the store to get milk"... man, I have been reading waaay too many jokes lately hahah.ย 

Also, I am in the same boat as you, but will never wear sandals with socks. That is just too uncomfy.
SaaSam
Politicker
2
Account Executive
hahahaha I can see where that would have been expected.

The socks with sandals was born out of laziness and disdain for sweaty feet, as these sandals are clearly killing the rainforest with all that petroleum.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
4
๐ŸฆŠ
Tuck your tshirt in too.
SaaSam
Politicker
5
Account Executive
You might think this is a lie just to make the joke funnier but.. I'm honestly wearing sandals with socks right now....

Edit: Added proof of my dadlinessย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
4
๐ŸฆŠ
I knew you were telling the truth ๐Ÿคฃ
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
2
Sales
Dangerously close to a downvote for that styleย 
Sunbunny31
Politicker
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
But they are not black socks, so you're still cool.
SaaSam
Politicker
2
Account Executive
Do your worst (English accent)
Corpslovechild
Politicker
4
Inbound Sales Manager
God you are so old.
SaaSam
Politicker
4
Account Executive
Old soul, I suppose... I'm 28
Corpslovechild
Politicker
1
Inbound Sales Manager
Jesus,ย I am 29..... I need a kid and a pair of new blances
Pachacuti
Politicker
3
They call me Daddy, Sales Daddy
Welcome to the club!ย  Its amazing how things change when YOU have to pay the bills!ย  lol
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
3
Sales
This gets worse fyi. Buckle upย 
SaaSam
Politicker
3
Account Executive
I can only imagine... I just dread the baldness that is on my horizon.
1nbatopshotfan
Politicker
3
Sales
Youโ€™re gonna threaten to turn the car around soon.ย 
SaaSam
Politicker
0
Account Executive
My folks threatened to make us walk home. Actually tried it one time. My older brother and I just started walking towards Grandma's house. Didn't succeed in punishing us but did succeed in making us get along since we thought it was fun.

My mom realized we called her bluff and turned around like 5 minutes later.
saasbaby
Politicker
3
SDR
Lmbo!! As a new parent, I love this post so much. But my husband acts like a child so I've been behaving this way for awhile.ย 
SaaSam
Politicker
1
Account Executive
Oh don't get me wrong, my 3 year old is much more mature than her old man...
washedD1soccer
Politicker
2
Regional Sales Manager
Never understood how nice an uninterrupted shower was until I had kids.
SaaSam
Politicker
5
Account Executive
I just want to sit on the turlit without being questioned about why I'm taking so long.
LordOfWar
Tycoon
2
Blow it up
As a recent dad myself, all I can say is you need smart switches.

I can dad-reign from the couch, wreaking havoc by controlling the thermostat and lights like a drone operator sitting stateside.
SaaSam
Politicker
2
Account Executive
I feel stupid that this never occurred to me. Thanks for the tip!
LordOfWar
Tycoon
2
Blow it up
Don't feel bad, you are but a padawan and not yet fully versed in the true power of the force.
SaaSam
Politicker
1
Account Executive
Much to learn I still have
Justatitle
Big Shot
1
Account Executive
Itโ€™s either the white new balances or the Nike whites with blue soles. These are your only options. Also leaving the water running, leaving the AC on when not home and not returning the seat of your car back to where it was after someone else used itโ€ฆ
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
1
Rolling 20's all day
Just embrace it. It's the way of life to become our parents.
CavsIn7
Fire Starter
1
Senior Account Executive
when your prouder of yardwork than any deal closed this year - gimme those New Balances

SaaSam
Politicker
1
Account Executive
I'm already basically living at Home Depot
CavsIn7
Fire Starter
1
Senior Account Executive
i block my cal for Home Depot/Lowes runsย 
SaaSam
Politicker
0
Account Executive
That's smart... Home Depot requires full attention

Jr7
Politicker
0
AM
Hahah everyone gets their moment.ย 
Fenderbaum
Politicker
0
Retired Choirboy๐Ÿช•
.
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
0
Sales Rep
Kawhi Leonard and you can match!

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