beerisforclosers

Account Manager

Valued Contributor

Ladies - How do you respond when a prospect gets inappropriate?

I work in male-dominated IT, but I'm confident this happens to women in every sales org. What do you do when a prospect gets inappropriate? Share your stories and responses. I think we could learn a lot from each other.

I'll go first:

I was on a sales call at a manufacturing plant in the deep south - just to really set the stage. I used to work in manufacturing with steel toes and all, so I was dressed appropriately in jeans with a blouse and a blazer. The blouse was a very moderate neckline. At most, you could see my collar bones.

We get into the meeting. We've met with these guys a few times, but the lead decision maker is finally joining. He comes in late, shakes every hand but mine, and settles down directly across from me. I'm presenting at the front of the room. I realize he is straight staring at my chest. Not even trying to hide it.

This goes on for close to 30 minutes, with me trying to decide how to say something without getting called a 'bitch' or losing the sale. I kept asking him questions, and he would answer without taking his eyes off my chest. Finally, my engineer stepped in and called him out.

He blinked, blushed, and then laughed - so we all laughed it off even though WTF man. There have been plenty of inappropriate comments, and I'm normally one to laugh these things off. But being drooled over like that was the most violating feeling.

I was thankful for my engineer, but I don't want to rely on him. Interested in what responses have worked for others!

Can't wait to hear all your cringe-worthy stories!

🎈 Mentorship

🏰 War Stories

🤘 Personal Growth

10

9 comments

Sort by:

softwarebro

Politicker

4

Sales Director

I am sorry that you had to make this post. It's unfortunate that some people lack self-awareness and /or decide not to offer mutual respect. Good on your engineer for stepping up to the plate - that type of behavior is unacceptable.

beerisforclosers

Politicker

1

Account Manager

I appreciate that! I know most women have similar stories. It's hard to know how to respond - such a delicate situation.

UserNotFound

Politicker

2

Account Executive

I'm late to this post, but I feel you @beerisforclosers

I'm struggling right now with the fact that in the past 18m I've had SEVERAL inappropriate interactions. I'm trying to understand if I'm doing something that seems to invite this, or if it's because I'm in a field that keeps me surrounded with socially-awkward men (yes, I'm also in Tech sales) that don't know when something is inappropriate. Or could it be that in this weird pandemic world we're living in, social etiquette has just completely disappeared? Ugh.

Also, can I just throw out there that women should be able to hang out with men in a platonic way. I don't mind if someone wants to shoot their shot, but fuck it gets exhausting constantly reiterating that I will not be cheating on my husband.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

1

🦊

Or just because you are nice it doesn't mean you are flirting or that you want them. You are being nice. Nothing more.

HaveYouSeenMyVape

1

Sales

To your last point - absolutely! I have so many more interesting things to talk about than my husband, but I feel like I constantly have to reference him to keep driving the point home sometimes. Like can we just not?

Blackwargreymon

Politicker

1

MDR

I'm struggling right now with the fact that in the past 18m I've had SEVERAL inappropriate interactions. I'm trying to understand if I'm doing something that seems to invite this, or if it's because I'm in a field that keeps me surrounded with socially-awkward men (yes, I'm also in Tech sales) that don't know when something is inappropriate. Or could it be that in this weird pandemic world we're living in, social etiquette has just completely disappeared? Ugh.

Clashingsoulsspell

Politicker

1

ISR

I am sorry that you had to make this post. It's unfortunate that some people lack self-awareness and /or decide not to offer mutual respect.

MR.StretchISR

Politicker

0

ISR

I am sorry that you had to make this post. It's unfortunate that some people lack self-awareness and /or decide not to offer mutual respect. Good on your engineer for stepping up to the plate - that type of behavior is unacceptable.

HaveYouSeenMyVape

0

Sales

Oh dude - I have no advice, but I am here to commiserate. I sell B2B professional services and a lot of my job is traditional wining, dining, and showing prospects a good time. I am often on both domestic and international site visits, where I'm with the prospects for multiple days and men often mistake my professional attention for romantic interest. It sucks. For the first couple years I had no idea if I was good at my job or not, because all my clients were dudes and I was a chick in her late 20's/early 30's.
One incident that really crossed the line was 5 months into my job - a prospect (12 years older than me, married, three kids) decided to wrap his arms and kiss me after post dinner drinks. I was absolutely frozen, he was really drunk and after a few seconds I looked at him and said "I better have that MSA signed in my inbox tomorrow". I did wake up to the signed MSA but the project never launched as his company went under a few months later. To this day I've never told anyone about it at work or personal life - not even my husband. The client asked me to coffee the next day and apologized, but I was both embarrassed and anxious, as he was really well connected in our ICP for a specific city and hate that he put me in this position.
Luckily that was the most egregious incident I've faced. I haven't had your specific incident happen to me, but now 5 years into my role if I hear of comments behind my back I absolutely confront them without remorse. Any good company will back you on that because that shit should no longer be tolerated. It's way easier said than done, and I'm so sorry that that happened to you. It's incredibly violating and we need both dudes and chicks to hold people like this accountable. It's literally no one's fault but the person putting you in this position and it's not easy to navigate a situation like this - especially when you were just trying to do your damn job!

Bravado is a community of trusted sales professionals endorsed by their customers.

Products

The War Room Jobs Salary Guide Tech Sales U

Company

About Us How It Works Blog Bug Bounty

Contact

© 2024 Bravado Inc. All rights reserved.

Privacy Policy Legal and Privacy Center Sales Jobs

If you are hired as a contract sales rep by a Bravado customer, we may ask you to prove access to the employee email account provided to you by that customer. This data will be shared with customers to track your sales productivity; customers can use this data to confirm you meet the minimum activity requirements to pay out your ramp stipend and commission.