UserNotFound

Account Executive

Notorious Answer

Valued Contributor

Legit question- was I being racist?

Story takes place nearly 3yrs ago.

I am BAD at understanding accents. I think my hearing might be minorly fucked up from childhood ear infections? Either way it's not a "quirk" I just straight up have a suuuper difficult time understanding through thick accents- to the point that at any majorly ethnic restaurant my husband usually has to step in on my interactions with staff to help me. (I once thought a woman called me a monkey and I was dying laughing when he told me she was asking for the money 🫠)

So in early 2020 I had just landed a new job, and was doing the dial-and-smile routine when I hit one. The woman had a very thick middle eastern accent and I made an absolute fool of myself asking her to repeat herself, trying to parrot back what I thought I heard (unsuccessfully) and we both kind of agreed that even though they were looking I wasn't going to be able to move them forward because of the language barrier.

That evening we have a small happy hour honoring my first deal at the new company. everyone (6-7ppl) are talking about their day and I repeat this interaction. In telling the story I tried to give an example of the accent and how thick it was (sort of panicking that my new boss might be pissed that I lost an opp that was actively looking) and then he told me that I was being racist.

Obviously not my intention, but it still bothers me...

🤘 Personal Growth

21

55 comments

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jefe

Arsonist

10

🍁

Don't think it's racist at all, BUT imitation/accents are a touchy thing to many and it's often best to play it safe.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

7

Bravado's Resident Asshole

well.. I actually got in trouble for being insensitive for doing an accent, but not racist. You weren't making fun of their race, you were imitating the accent. TOTALLY DIFFERENT BTW.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

Thats how I felt- knowing that my intention was to illustrate not belittle. But it is a hard day when you're called a racist, and I don't want to be the person that writes that off but at the same time... I know my heart.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

3

Bravado's Resident Asshole

It can be tough to let it go, especially when you know that you are in the right. Just see what you can do to have a side conversation with your boss and clear the air. That will really help you.

UserNotFound

Politicker

2

Account Executive

Oh yeah I don't work there anymore, it's just one of those things that my anxiety holds on to as a fun little 'remember when' at 2am when I can't sleep.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Oh, that's the worst. You know your intention...and I also bet that everyone else involved has long forgotten about it!

YoursTruly

Politicker

-2

Account Executive (SaaS)

What was the point of imitating it if you weren’t making fun of it?

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

1

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Accent has nothing to do with race… read what I wrote.

YoursTruly

Politicker

-3

Account Executive (SaaS)

I didn’t mention race. Read what i wrote

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

1

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Ah yes, but your reference to something being made fun of was also in reference me stating that I or they wasn’t making fun of their race.. so had nothing to do with making fun of the accent. 👍🏼

YoursTruly

Politicker

-3

Account Executive (SaaS)

I asked a question. A very simple one. What’s the point of imitating someone’s accent? we both know the answer was you wanted a laugh when you did it.

Another question. Would you do that stupid fake accent to their face?

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

Lol... you're so lucky that 1) you've never dealt with social anxiety that causes you to do stupid things and 2) you've never made a mistake.

I would never MAKE FUN of someone for an accent. Instead, I made a stupid move in trying to explain to my new boss what roadblock I was experiencing. I was new to an acronym-heavy industry and dealing with a language barrier I hadn't expected. Was it the wrong move? Yeah. Was I making fun of the person? No.

Jumping to the assumption that all humans should be above error and that no matter what exhibiting one behavior automatically means X is bullshit- and you know that. The world isn't black and white, there's a lot of gray area and if you don't make room for it your life is going to be fucking miserable.

antiASKHOLE

Tycoon

1

Bravado's Resident Asshole

Mic drop

YoursTruly

Politicker

-2

Account Executive (SaaS)

You and askhole sure do like to fill in the gaps rather than just answer a straightforward question.

People make mistakes all the time. Then they own them and move forward. You coming onto WR looking for sympathy 3 years later is laughable. what’s even the point of even bringing it up 3 years later unless you actually think you did something wrong and want the validation of a bunch of strangers to make yourself feel better?

Mimicking a persons accent, especially a person of a different race, to group of coworkers (or anyone) is not an okay thing to do. That’s it that’s all.

grumpymars

Opinionated

6

Sales Development Representative

It is certainly considered by many to be racist if you're impersonating/making fun of/doing a caricature of someone's accent. I believe that intent is important, so I personally wouldn't say so, but your boss is justified in that statement just based on what he witnessed.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

The only issue I take is that those three things aren't synonymous. To treat them as such removes really important nuances.

grumpymars

Opinionated

0

Sales Development Representative

Definitely. Without a doubt, it says more about the boss to instantly jump to the "racist" label based on them giving an example of what they were experiencing. I'd hope for leadership to have a bit more nuance when talking to a subordinate on this topic.

SaaSam

Politicker

0

Account Executive

I disagree; attributing intent to someone else's actions is never okay. The boss should never have made such a bold statement.

grumpymars

Opinionated

1

Sales Development Representative

I totally agree. It's quite a heinous accusation for something relatively harmless sharing their experience in this specific circumstance. It's not okay, but humans judge based on their own perspectives.

SaaSam

Politicker

4

Account Executive

I don't even need to read what you said to tell you the answer is no. Racism is found in the intent, hence for any act to be racist it would need to be motivated by a personal belief that someone's ethnicity would make them inferior in any way.

The fact that you're bothered enough about what happened to even ask tells me that your intentions aren't racist.

My wife is Latina, I'm as caucasian as Kraft Mac N' Cheese. We make jokes about each other's race all the time. I love her, she loves me. Nobody ever gets offended because there's obviously never racist intent.

Society would be way better off if we tried to focus more on someone's intentions and motivations rather than jump to being offended.

DungeonsNDemos

Big Shot

2

Rolling 20's all day

If only people could see others' intentions, rather than just the actions.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

4

🦊

I don't think so. This sounds innocent. You live, learn, and move on.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

3

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Your intent certainly doesn't seem racist, but mimicking accents can be interpreted that way. I'm your opposite - I have a good ear and can impersonate accents fairly well with practice, and it's not something I do outside my own home for just that reason. Too many times imitating accents been used to mock people.

Were you able to overcome this with your boss?

UserNotFound

Politicker

2

Account Executive

He never brought it up again. I actually think he meant it in jest, or maybe softened it with laughter afterward to try and make it a passive 'correction'? Also I don't work there anymore and he was the most toxic boss ever anyway... if you feel like traveling on an emotional roller coaster read my posts from 2020-2021. Lol.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

1

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Oof. Well, glad you're gone from there and happily moved on!

TennisandSales

Politicker

2

Head Of Sales

ahh yeah this just sucks. I think your problem was when you tried to give an example of the accent.

im on your side for sure. but i think thats when the boss thought you misstepped. if I was you, i would go to that person and just clear the air.

"hey mark just wanted to say my bad on that situation at the bar, i shouldn't have tried to mimic the accent sorry about that. "

Thats what i would do even if i didnt think i did anything wrong most people appreciate that level of effort.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

This was a long time ago and my old boss is a total douche that I never plan on talking to again. lol.

TennisandSales

Politicker

1

Head Of Sales

haha ok well that solves it then!😂

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

2

Officer of ♥️

Intention doesnt matter, the only race you can mimick is your own. Imagine other races mimicking yours

bassinshaps

Politicker

1

Territory Sales Manager

People of other races mock my accent all the time. Doesn’t bother me. I know they’re not intentionally being racist or rude. They’re just having fun.

UserNotFound

Politicker

0

Account Executive

I disagree- not related to my own experience but just that as a blanket statement. I'm from rural-midwest and while I work in tech and interact with a diverse group globally now... that didn't exist for me growing up. You don't know what you don't know, and to assume humans are just innately never going to offend someone who looks/sounds different than them is irrational.

SADNESSLieutenant

Politicker

1

Officer of ♥️

Well im not assuming anything but if you’re taking about being conscious and not being racist then theres your answer, dont mimick other cultures that aren’t your own you have no right

AnchorPoint

Politicker

2

Business Coach

Racist - doesn't sound like it. Dumb move - definitely.

NotCreativeEnough

Big Shot

1

Professional Day Ruiner

definitely not racist. if you can't communicate how can you sell to them? I do get how it can come off as racist to some because for people who don't struggle with it, they'll think you just don't want to deal with it.

I grew up in a town of about 3000 people and all cows/farms. I struggle a lot with accents too, I wish I was better because I feel like I'm being rude because I can't communicate with them but I do my best.

I think people who have had a lot of exposure to it don't understand how hard it is for those of us who haven't

**Edit to Add: I do see how impersonating the accent could be seen as racist. I think intent matters and making fun of the person obviously wasn't the intent. but I do see how someone can view that as such, especially if they're hearing you do it out of context.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

Maybe we grew up in the same place because that’s my experience exactly! Never drew the line from that to this weird fault of mine but it makes so much sense how that would impact my ability to understand accents!!

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

For some reason I can't edit the post but it is probably important to note that I am a white female.

SaaSyBee

Politicker

1

Founder

Yeah, imitating someone's accent is definitely a bad look. But it's totally fair to say that there was a language barrier or difficulty communicating.

Angusmacg

Valued Contributor

1

Territory Account Mgr.

You weren’t racist.

It can be difficult. Many many years ago I worked on a project and was the only person who could work with a programmer who happened to be from Russia. No one could understand him as most of the work was done over the phone (no Zoom back then).

I pushed through and he realized everyone had a hard time but when he had one point of contact we worked on it nad I realized that if i focused on every 3rd word I could piece together what he was saying. It worked well.

If anything your boss is racist for suggesting that because the customer was middle eastern. My situation I described was with a white guy by your boss’s logic that should be racist too because I couldn’t understand him and he was from a different country.

Hell, there are peopl in the US that are born and bred that I can’t understand.

GDO

Politicker

1

BDM

How can this be racist if it s not about race?

UserNotFound

Politicker

0

Account Executive

I think that he misinterpreted my intent to be to poke fun, which WOULD be racist to make fun of someone’s accent. Especially someone from a marginalized community.

GDO

Politicker

1

BDM

Oh man, a lot of people have really long toes.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

Is that a reference I should get? Cuzzzzz I’m lost. Hahah

GDO

Politicker

2

BDM

Easy to step on 😅

TNsalesguy

Good Citizen

1

VP of Sales

Probably not racist, but let's try and leave the accent imitation alone next time!

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

Fo-sho. Hahaha, I'm definitely not one to learn a lesson twice.

bassinshaps

Politicker

1

Territory Sales Manager

I think you should take it with a grain of salt. I personally don’t mock peoples accents (besides Borat) if I’m trying to impersonate someone with an accent. However, being mocked for my own accent or way I say things doesn’t bother me at all. I have a southern drawl and my Hispanic customers often make fun of me when trying my best to speak clear and concise Spanish. It is what it is and I never get bent out of shape over it.

I feel like a lot of people like to get offended by other people on behalf of them even when they’re not there.

Like it’s a competition on who can get offended or somehow you’re given some sort of social credit by being offended. I don’t get it.

RomyJax2020

Valued Contributor

1

Enterprise Sales Dev

Hmm are you white? I ask because it's the only reason someone would feel comfortable saying you're racist. If you were imitating the accent to make people laugh, then it def can come off as unsavory. I think you could tell the story without imitating the accent, but look- it's over and done. Who cares if your old boss thinks you're racist. Are you? If so, then you can explore anti-racism. If not, your side of the street is clean. We all make mistakes, don't beat yourself up about it.

ThatNewAE

Big Shot

1

Account Executive - Mid enterprise

Such a sensitive topic. I also feel people get triggered / sensitivised over just anything these days.

DungeonsNDemos

Big Shot

0

Rolling 20's all day

From what you described I don't think you're being racist. I had a friend growing up with a very strong accent, and at first I could hardly understand him.
After a few weeks my brain learned to understand through the thick accent what they were saying.

I would recommend looking to make friends with people in or from the regions your prospect - as this will not only give you another friend (with probably different perspectives) but will also help you cut through the accent).

YoursTruly

Politicker

0

Account Executive (SaaS)

Every person on this thread should read the book “so you want to talk about race”. just start there then continue to try to continue that education about racism.

People seem to think you have to be overtly racist for it to be a big deal. The reality is most racism shows up very subtly and has an even larger impact.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

I don't think that anyone is saying you have to be overtly racist to take it seriously. I think most people are saying that intent matters, and if your purpose is not tied to racism or ethnocentrism- offenses can be forgiven if taken as a learning opportunity. If you ARE, in fact, just a racist asshole then you should be written off.

YoursTruly

Politicker

0

Account Executive (SaaS)

People have unconscious bias, people are often ignorant to their own actions which can cause harm. Intention doesn’t really matter. Just because you didn’t intend for something to cause harm doesn’t mean it didn’t.

I encourage you to read up on unconscious bias, CRT, or books like the one I mentioned above.

ChickenDinner

Politicker

0

Account Executive

Yea people throw around the word racist a lot these days. We need more nuance and more layers. I would say that was a little racially insensitive of you (in general trying to imitate people's accents will usually come across as offensive and less it's self deprecating) but not racist

Gasty

Notable Contributor

0

War Room Community Manager

no, but maybe

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