paddy profile picture
paddy profile picture

paddy

Director of Business Development

WR Officer
Notorious Answer
Arsonist
+10

My office downgraded to 1 ply toilet paper. Should I be concerned?

This week I noticed that my office downgraded from 2 ply to 1 ply toilet paper. Should I be concerned? We've always had 2 ply, so now I'm questioning if this was a deliberate decision and why.

Is 1 ply a cause for concern?

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CoorsKing
WR Officer
7
Retired King of the Coors Knights
They did that when we were still in the office. Coincidentally, the lunch they provided started to cause "issues". I think the TP provider and food provider were colluding.ย 

Financially, we are crushing it so I have no idea why they want us to suffer...
paddy
WR Officer
4
Director of Business Development
That warrants some investigation.
SADNES5
Politicker
4
down voters are marketing spies
Half a wipe in, and I'm sure that won't be the only breakthrough in your investigation.ย 
paddy
WR Officer
2
Director of Business Development
Absolute gem of a comment right here
CoorsKing
WR Officer
2
Retired King of the Coors Knights
I just choked on my coffee. Well done, you win the gold star today lol.
paddy
WR Officer
1
Director of Business Development
follow up question: are there grounds for a lawsuit if this happens?
SADNES5
Politicker
0
down voters are marketing spies
Maybe not grounds. Corn? Idk. Depends. (Diaper Joke)
SADNES5
Politicker
3
down voters are marketing spies
Do the executive team have their own bathroom, full of plush. 10 ply? Shit in there until things change.

They hate us cuz they ain't us.ย 
paddy
WR Officer
2
Director of Business Development
They don't (as far as I know). Maybe they do have some secret golden toilet. That'll be my afternoon quest to find out while I avoid prospecting.
SADNES5
Politicker
2
down voters are marketing spies
Once we are back in the office, I'll post a video of the secret C-Suite bathroom. Shower with clean towels. Gucci Soap. Basically Silken Rags for TP...ย 

It's hidden. Very hidden, but no one told me I can't use it... So I do.
SheWOLF
Opinionated
2
TC Sales
Did Dwight take over your company?ย 
paddy
WR Officer
2
Director of Business Development
I'm starting to wonder that
Smithy
Politicker
1
Director of Sales
I think this is one of the key ways an employer shows they care for their staff.ย 

quilted TP, blood oath, double ply and Ima work there, single ply and Iโ€™d rather claim unemploymentย 
paddy
WR Officer
2
Director of Business Development
Agreed. This is why I had to bring it up. 1 ply is fucked up and borderline inhumane.ย 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
1
๐ŸฆŠ
Good ole Procurement squeezing every nickel outta their poor janitorial vendor ๐Ÿคฆโ€โ™€๏ธ
paddy
WR Officer
1
Director of Business Development
Fucked up
Rallier
Politicker
1
SDR Manager and Consultant
This is what maximizing shareholders wealth looks like (by any means necessary)
paddy
WR Officer
1
Director of Business Development
Then I guess it's time for a socialist-style revolution where we have to capture and publicly hang one of the shareholders. "This is for our buttholes!" I yell as I kick out the stool underneath the shareholder...the office goes wild. We reclaim our toilets. And then I end up in jail. (This is a joke don't ban me pls)
CaneWolf
Politicker
1
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
This was one of the ways how I knew WeWork was full of shit. One-ply toilet paper is for heathens.
paddy
WR Officer
2
Director of Business Development
Nothing reveals a company's true values more than the thickness of toilet paper they purchase.
goose
Politicker
0
Sales Executive
Stock up on Dude Wipes...

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