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My old work threatened to sue me today.

Couple of months back, I left my old work as it just wasn't a vibe yah feel me.


Mainly they had no idea what they were doing on the SDRside, and the head of sales was pulling numbers out of his ass and expecting me to jump up there to fill it.


Anyway, one of my colleagues, a fellow trench SDR warrior, was also looking to leave. He'd already been interviewing for a few months but hadn't found the right role.


Recruiter I knew shared a role that was mucho more mullah than I knew he was earning, so I shared it with him. SDR homie asked me to refer him, so I did.


SDR and company did the little recruiting sideways tango, and a lovely little contract of employment was born.


SDR goes out for drinks tells fellow employee about this, employee goes full ratata, and HR hears. Uh oh, they big frowny face.


In my old contract, there is a no poachy clause, but it limits it to Key workers, which in turn is defined as Senior workers, i.e. management.


So today, I get an email from old HR going - 'Q5 hope you're well, but you've been a very naughty boy. As you know, you can't do any poachy poachy of key workers or you'll get a spank from legal.' I guffawed.


Anyway, contracts, aren't they hilarious?


No moral to the story. I just found the dick-swinging funny.


P.S they'd already put him on fucking PIP as well.

😤 Conflict Resolution
⚖️ Legal
♥️ Love
46
CoorsKing
WR Officer
+11
King of the Coors Knights
Coors Knights always stand together. If he was a valuable “key worker” to them, he wouldn’t be on PIP, and wouldn’t be a BDR. Fuck your old company, get that referral bonus.
Mooney
Politicker
+12
Director of Sales
PIP's are a waste of effing time for everyone! 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Yep, I think they only pip'ed him as they need all the SDR bodies they can get atm
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Do as I say, Q5
Tell them to eat your entire ass
Then read their handbook as to what a "key employee" is
Then give you a reacharound.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
What light on yonder window breaks? Is it them eating ass from the east? Is it a reacharound from the west? 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
They made zero sense. They are reaching far for control over a former employee for someone that was out the door regardless. Sounds like you made the right decision leaving that dumpster.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Less stress, more money and more heroin. What a trifecta. 
beerisforclosers
Politicker
+8
Account Manager
Agreed. Love when you make a choice and the universe celebrates you doing the right thing! This is a great story for over a beer.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
Lol key employees/senior management does not apply to a SDR, especally one on a PIP.

Just reply with "Sir, this is a Wendy's restaurant." It will tell him everything he needs to know about the situation.
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
Do you have the coordinates of this person who emailed you? I'll keep my predator drone on standby. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Let me check my contacts, I'm currently using my Russian ex to get in touch with a certain Chechen sniper. Shall update, I'll use the usual burner phone. 
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
If you're going that route, I can do it for cheaper...
Show 3 more replies
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
+9
WR Enthusiast
I would not consider an SDR a Key employee, this makes no sense, hope everything works out for you! 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Oh I'm fine, upon reviewing my contract by myself it made no sense, let alone asking a few lawyer friends of mine to double-check. 

At this point, it's just achieving a life goal. We all have to be threatened with legal action at some point. 
OpalTiddyChurger
Arsonist
+9
Funbags Enthusiast
Dick slap, then straight to jail. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
A swing and a miss. 
UrAssIsSaaS
Politicker
+7
SaaS Eater
Yikes. A nice "go fuck yourself" is in order for said company
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
I also like "unsubscribe" as an option.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Really tempted to do a post wearing all my ex-company merch on Linkedin thank grateful ex-companies. 
GrizzleMcThornBody
Politicker
+7
EVP - RevOps
Tell HR if they promise to scrub your browser history while you were employed there, you will give him back.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
He's not even at my company! 

This is also why we have non-work computers. 

No one deserves to see the depths of depraved SDR's soul 
GrizzleMcThornBody
Politicker
+7
EVP - RevOps
don't incognito at work, not worth it.
Show 4 more replies
TheNegotiator
Politicker
+7
VP of Sales
Lol, I would’ve responded saying “I dare you. Non-solicitation doesn’t apply if an employee willing asks to leave your shitty company. File your claim so I can file a counter suit for slander” . Request a formal apology
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Just more hassle than it's worth at this point in time. 

I do back that energy though. 
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
And people say Sales people are the petty ones🤣🔥
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Preach man, I'm tempted to share the BDA role they're recruiting for on linkedin and refer them to HR if they have any questions. 
Mooney
Politicker
+12
Director of Sales
You know a business is going down hill when they have time and resources to go after an ex employee. Shouldn't they be focused on making sure others don't leave or reviewing sales contracts to close business?
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Not to mention they stole about 5-7 people from a direct competitor through referalls. 
Mooney
Politicker
+12
Director of Sales
Counter sue for Defamation of Character 
Show 1 more replies
softwaresails
Politicker
+4
Sales Manager
lol you can't call an employee that you put on a pip a "key employee"
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Anyone can be key if enough SDR's quit apparently. 
softwaresails
Politicker
+4
Sales Manager
Is that the reasoning they gave? Wow. 
Show 1 more replies
LordBusiness
Politicker
+8
Chief Revenue Officer
Nothing more annoying that non compete/solicit clauses and language for sellers. Instead of sending letters, companies should focus on, oh I dunno….making sure their folks don’t want to leave🙄🙄
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
If only! Perish the thought of them taking feedback from the actual sales team as well!
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+7
AE of B2B
They must have some extra butthurt toxicity to go after you. Trying to enforce non-recruit clause on a fucking BDR is ridiculous, plus he was on a PIP (not sure the details) but WTH?
Hope this works out ok for you two.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Haha, we're both fine. It's just hilarious at this point. 

Made funnier by the fact it isn't even a straight poach as it's an entirely separate company from the one I'm at. 
GDO
Politicker
+7
BDM
I can’t imagine they will get away with controlling you after you left. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
The clause they put in is bull, so I'm all good - enjoyed the nice but angry email they sent me. 
privateryan
Politicker
+5
Director of Sales
Man the story was fire. Kudos q5
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
We all have our crazy moments in this world, I just wanted to share mine. 
LegacySales
Politicker
+3
Account Executive
I'm trying to help here and really understand this: 
Did by any chance at all, you have a beef with HR or Legal? This is so ridiculous that I'm trying to make sense of it. 
Q5 were there any love affairs that went astray with any colleagues in either of these departments? What about the SDR manager?
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
No beef prior to this. Ended on good terms, I worked out my notice did my exit interview etc. 

No love affairs or sordid stories, due to covid I never even met the team! VP of Sales joined a couple weeks before I quit. 
nomdeguerre
Valued Contributor
+5
VP of Channel Partner Sales
Simple response: Ok, Karen :-)
nomdeguerre
Valued Contributor
+5
VP of Channel Partner Sales
Or alternatively: Ok, boomer ;-)
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Was tempted to respond with 'Mam this a wendys' and then just a little ok boomer meme gif 
nomdeguerre
Valued Contributor
+5
VP of Channel Partner Sales
I like it
Show 1 more replies
sellingsellssold
Politicker
+7
SDR
This stinks, sorry to hear about this. Seems like you have a good attitude about it and I'm sure everything will work out in your favor. Best of luck!
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
All good my dude, they don't have a leg to stand on 😂 

Just dick swinging. 
Ac
AccountBoy911
Contributor
+1
VP of BD
Its just a scare tactic for now. The only time a company will pursue is if there is a run on an employees. This can happen with technical enterprise sales. Usually there is a very small number of talent in this area i.e. Gene Slicing machine sales. If HR is worried that a competitor will pull their talent, they may be serious. In 99% of the time its a scar tactic. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Yep, fully agree on that. Mainly just posturing incase I was to keep doing it. No plan to. 

The funny part is theyve poached poached about 5-7 people from our closest competitor 
JECU
Opinionated
+3
Account Manager / Co-Founder
Amazing how often this happens. My old employer who I now contract for has the most restrictive NC’s I’ve seen. I’ve even seen them go after people for leaving and lose but yet keep it super restrictive. Legal counsel advised them to tailor it back and they responded with “no, we want to scare them”.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Yep, 100% the same here the clause is super fucking broad where a fair amount is unenforceable. 

What's also hilarious is they hired 5-8 people by actually poaching from their closest competitor. 
goose
Politicker
+11
Sales Executive
The only correct reply to your old company is "I'm not sure I know what you are talking about."
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Please take me off your mailing list. 
goose
Politicker
+11
Sales Executive
Unsubscribe
countingmyinterest
Politicker
+4
Account Executive
I'd tell them to royally fuck off and send their legal team if they like to burn thousands of dollars pursuing an ex-SDR. 

Literally not worth their time and I'd call their bluff if I was petty enough lol
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
I feel yah, just not worth the effort at the moment. 
captainrex
Contributor
Sales Enablement Team Lead
Train your employees well enough that they can leave, treat them well enough so they won't. GO get your referral bonus. 
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Already got my amazon voucher. 
saleschick
Good Citizen
Enterprise Account Executive
I've been there as well, caused a lot of undue stress at the time but thankfully it was baseless. Means they see you as a threat which is a good thing! Stay saucy and crushing it at your new job! Forget about the petty haters. 
Th
Thripe
Good Citizen
Head of Sales
They won’t do anything, it’s just a warning
Queen_of_the_funnel
Opinionated
+3
Sr Manager of Business Development
I got smacked with one too when I left... Cease and assist from taking all my former bdrs to my new company. 😑😑
Je
Jewcan_Sam81
Opinionated
+4
Account Executive
I feel like if it's one of the smaller companies they can't do anything, it's when you get to the bigger guys with 97 lawyers on speed dial that you should get concerned. Otherwise flip them the bird
ATX_Seller
Opinionated
+3
Cat Herder
This is super common. HR/Legal of former company sends a shot across the bow with a "cease & desist" letter or a call, and that's the end of it. 

Just don't make a habit out of referring more peeps (or make sure you have plausible deniability).
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