The War Room
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Never Have I Ever!

Let's have some fun. Who can come up with the best 'never have I ever' moment in a sales role? I haven't been in inside sales for a while but I think this one is a personal low for me.


Vote up if you've done it or if you think it's worth a vote. The winner gets an air high five all the way from my homeland, The Royal Kingdom of Andrew Cuomo. I'll go first...


Never Have I Ever.....Pissed in a Gatorade bottle during a call blitz, just so I could win a $25 Amazon gift card.


Who's next?!


😂 Sales Humor
32
ElCapitanoMan
Acclaimed Answer
+2
Solutions Consultant
Never have I ever called a number I knew was bad just so I could hit my call activity for the day 
Hotsaw
Politicker
+4
VP Sales
So many fax machines.
Filth
Good Citizen
Director of Client Development
I am so guilty of this in my last position lol. Had to fill up Monday morning call block somehow.
ElCapitanoMan
Acclaimed Answer
+2
Solutions Consultant
And that is why having activity metrics isn't always a good thing haha. I think they're great for a baseline but saying "you have to make X calls today" drives behavior like that.
Show 3 more replies
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
It's all good til they check the call recording, lol!
ElCapitanoMan
Acclaimed Answer
+2
Solutions Consultant
Get a few burner phones and give them to friends hahah
Show 1 more replies
Soiboi
Politicker
+5
Account Executive, EIAS/Compliance
LOL I love when metrics work.... 
UserNotFound
Politicker
+9
Mid Market Manager
Never have I ever taken off my wedding ring before meeting with a prospect that I know has a thing for me.... 

(being a woman in tech sales, selling to IT dudes all day- I definitely get some unfair advantages that I'm happy to leverage. That mortgage doesn't pay itself!)
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Psssstt...... they don’t care either way
UserNotFound
Politicker
+9
Mid Market Manager
😂
Show 1 more replies
Tanmocha_
Contributor
+2
Senior Account Executive
Hahaha I feel this LOL except I’m in the Vape/Smoke shop industry. And let me tell you, most of the men LOVE talking to me. But some absolutely HATE that I’m a girl too Lol 😂 (I’m not married though)
ATLSalesQueen
Contributor
+2
Sales Consultant
@MrsTechSales LOL on the reverse of this when I didn’t have a ring, I had to buy a fake engagement ring so the account managers would stop trying to set me up and instead take my meeting seriously
CorpBroette
Opinionated
+3
New Business Account Executive
🙌 I hear you there!

"(insert name) just take one for the team, it'll get all of us to our number".
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Men are brutal....I would like to say I apologize for the all of us but some will never change, smh.  

But hey, use what ya momma gave ya!
Dman1b
Fire Starter
Azure Specialist
I would so hire you if I was still in management. Way to play to your strengths!
blondeenigma
Opinionated
+2
Account Executive
never have I ever... booked a meeting off tinder 👍 hashtag guilty and proud, mad skillz
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Ouuu you little sneak, well played;)
PresidentSkroob
Fire Starter
+3
CSM
True definition of social selling
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Never have I ever invented fake pipeline (I'm a notorious sandbagger) to get management off my back.
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
You sandbagging son of bitch;)
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
You ain't sandbagging, you ain't trying.
Show 1 more replies
GeneralCorp
Notable Contributor
+14
General of The War Room
Never Have I Ever PIPED an opportunity ;)
Rissole
Fire Starter
+1
BDR
hahaha!
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Before or after the ink was dry?
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Never have I ever..... secretly recorded asshats in management roles when they think they’re “off the record” for leverage later 👀👀👀
DrSmallprint
Politicker
+3
Account Executive
I would like to subscribe to your newsletter
MSPSales
Notorious Answer
+5
Account Executive
You playing chess and they playing checkers 
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Oouuu now this is savage and borderline illegal....love it! lol
NativeNewYorker
Good Citizen
Vice President, Risk Advisor
it's legal in some states - like mine.  We only need one party's consent to record a call ;)
Show 4 more replies
Hotsaw
Politicker
+4
VP Sales
Never Have I Ever.... quoted Tommy Boy on a sales call.
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
YASS!  I'm in Telecom and I quote; "What number did you call?"  "7-2-5-mumble-niner.." "Did I catch a niner in there?  Were ya calling from a walkie-talkie?!" 
Hotsaw
Politicker
+4
VP Sales
The dump in a box and slap a guarantee on the side is one of my favourite quotes to riff off of
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IzzyWinning
Arsonist
+6
Enterprise Account Executive
For your customer's sake, for your daughter's sake, I suggest you buy a quality product from me. 
MSPSales
Notorious Answer
+5
Account Executive
Never ever have I ever booked a fake client meeting to get out of a pointless internal meeting 
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
This one, just too easy, lol.
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
Never have I ever ..... had a closed won🥲
jmoney
Good Citizen
Sr Channel Sales
Never have I ever booked a 4 day trip, with one hour long meeting a day, so I could fully explore and expense all meals in that city. 
ElephantChew
Good Citizen
+1
Key Accounts
Never did I do that in Europe. Twice. Oh, the heady days pre-Covid.
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
But the real question is; did you get the sale?
Sales4what
Opinionated
+4
Co-Founder & VP Sales @ PLURiTy
Never have I ever referenced Clerks in a sales meeting 
Ki
KingKon
Sr. CAE
"I don't appreciate your ruse!" 
Sales4what
Opinionated
+4
Co-Founder & VP Sales @ PLURiTy
Exactly! 
Filth
Good Citizen
Director of Client Development
Not Clerks, but I've definitely referenced Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back by singing the nickel bag/noice song lol.
MMMGood
Celebrated Contributor
+10
Senior Account Executive
Googled “March Madness upsets” before a call with a prospect just so I could sound like I know what I’m talking about to break some ice. 🙋🏻‍♂️
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Well played!
SalesViking
Valued Contributor
+3
Partner Dev Consultant
this worked so well when I was selling gym owners, now I sell salon owners and def faceplanted a few times bringing up sports...
PeterSwan
Opinionated
+2
Business Development Manager
Never Have I Ever...used Grant Cardone's cold calling approach and booked a call.
queenops
Opinionated
+5
Maker of Sales
someone had to say it. thank god
aki
Old School Bravo
Founder
never have i ever....answered another phone call during a live demo then walk away from the screen (while the camera was off)
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Love this move!
Filth
Good Citizen
Director of Client Development
Never have I ever .... Actually used one of those stupid power point slide decks.
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
Once..... NEVER AGAIN

unless the company rev is over 1B and it’s a huge ass RFP
Rachet
Politicker
+6
Account executive
Never have I Ever.... Taken a Nap on company time after hitting my Sales Numbers (In the WFH environment we're in)
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Nothing wrong with a nice little recharge.   I hit quota yesterday at 125%, I didn't wake up til 10 today lol!
IzzyWinning
Arsonist
+6
Enterprise Account Executive
How much nap time does a 270% Q1 buy me? 
Show 2 more replies
NorthernSalesGuru
Politicker
+5
Account Executive
Lmfao I’d be lying if I said I haven’t...
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Sales is a no-shame game, my man!  
Sales_Savage
Sales Director
Never have I ever hid booze in a coffee cup while presenting my QBR
SaaSsy
Politicker
+2
Sales Executive
😂
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Just a little something to take the edge off;)
snazzy
Praised Answer
+1
AE
Never have I ever called someone back that hung up on me, and said: "I think you may have accidentally hung up on me".
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
LOL
AutoSmiler
Arsonist
+7
SDR
Never have I ever congratulated a prospect on receiving their severance package. 
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Easy money lol
AutoSmiler
Arsonist
+7
SDR
Never have I ever made easy money as fast as I did that day!
seed2c
Founder
Never have I ever hooked up with a prospect that was a 5 at best to guarantee the deal gets closed at list cost.
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
5's need lovin too!
WillSell4Commish
Opinionated
+3
VP of Deez
Never have I ever had a customer at the door offer to shoot me for knocking
BigCheese
Notorious Answer
+14
Agency Recruiter | Coors Knight
Yup been there. Had a guy legit pull a gun on my first day D2D selling in Louisiana lmao
WillSell4Commish
Opinionated
+3
VP of Deez
In TX I had a few come sauntering out of their door with their handgun on their hip making sure I could see it. Texans don't like being told their pee shooter won't stand up to my guns *flexes arms while door is slammed in my face*
Show 1 more replies
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
That's intense!
ATLSalesQueen
Contributor
+2
Sales Consultant
Never have I ever lied about having technology issues (in WFH) to get out of internal meetings  
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
I don't what's going on with my internet, it is windy outside.....weird. 
AlexT
Politicker
+7
Account Executive
Never have I ever called through the list of that rep that just got fired so I could get some easy deals 
softwarebro
Politicker
+4
Director of Sales
dedication to the craft LOL
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Anything for a quick buck. LOL!
WenWest15
Praised Answer
+3
Principal Business Development Manager
Never have I ever worn my favorite red dress to a sales meeting with all male tech engineers. They literally don't know what to do with me...lol...
WillSell4Commish
Opinionated
+3
VP of Deez
You could have handed out spatulas so they could scrap their jaws off the floor
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
LOL. 
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Like shooting fish in a barrel:)
ElephantChew
Good Citizen
+1
Key Accounts
Peeing in bottles is table stakes for more than just Amazon workers, OP. Heck just last week I peed in a McAlister's Deli cup under my desk, while on camera on a zoom, never once breaking eye contact. While my bathroom was 6 feet away.
WillSell4Commish
Opinionated
+3
VP of Deez
The eye contact is a power move
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
Look right through their soul. 
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
My dog does this to me everytime he takes a shit, it's creepy but also soothing LOL 
Flipper
Good Citizen
Staff Sales Engineer
Never have I ever called a customer idiot after a phone call that I thought I hung up, but was still listening to me as I cursed at him. 


Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
He prob deserved it, fuck em;)
Rissole
Fire Starter
+1
BDR
Never have I ever scheduled fake google meetings and dial in to hit minute targets
ray
Executive
+6
Sales Director - UK, Ireland and Nordics
Never have I ever gotten drunk during a prospect meeting
Captain_Q
Arsonist
+8
Sr. Account Executive
As long as they order their drink first, it's game on!
6
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