Just lost my first deal today and felt like I've achieved a rite of passage in my sales career. Aside from this and getting fired, what other rites of passages are there in sales?
HappyGilmore
Rite of Passage(s) in sales
35
Winning your first deal
Closing a deal then having it fall though
Being top of the leaderboard
Making PClub
Getting degenerate drunk with your team, then having to come in the next morning and act professional
Taking five to go cry in a bathroom stall then coming back out with your game face on
Closing a deal then having it fall though
Being top of the leaderboard
Making PClub
Getting degenerate drunk with your team, then having to come in the next morning and act professional
Taking five to go cry in a bathroom stall then coming back out with your game face on
Having some boomer VP quote Glengarry Glen Ross
Having a Director who's your age or younger self-stylize after the boomer vp...
or having a director who barely ever carried a bag.
or having a director who barely ever carried a bag.
A- Always; B- Be; C- Closing
IT'S FUCK OR WALK
HIT THE BRICKS
- All from my VP during our last sales All-Hands.
IT'S FUCK OR WALK
HIT THE BRICKS
- All from my VP during our last sales All-Hands.
We had some asshat do a 30-minute presentation on "ABC", like he invented it. Not only has this person never carried a bag, but they were in Sales Ops. Needless to say, the entire sales team checked out for 30 minutes.
Taking five to go cry in a bathroom stall hahaha...omg so real though
Ah I'm ready to have a deal close only for it to fall through. Forgot about the degenerate drunk passage, glad to have hit that milestone at SKO a year ago.
It sucks... Prepare to get degen drunk afterwards
Hahaha this comment was so real
Having HR send you an official warning to stop making suggestive comments towards the receptionist.
I hooked up with the receptionist at one of my jobs actually. Good times.
Nice, how was it?
10/10 would recommend
Lmao
-Having 3 bosses in the same year.
-Getting cussed at on a cold call
-Getting threatened by a customer
-Getting thrown under the bus by leadership to make a customer feel better
-Getting a clawback
-Getting cussed at on a cold call
-Getting threatened by a customer
-Getting thrown under the bus by leadership to make a customer feel better
-Getting a clawback
Getting cussed at on a cold call should happen on day 1 as an SDR
In my previous industry it was a weekly occurrence to get threatened by a customer.
That sounds super fun....
Getting put on a PIP
-Sitting through your first SKO
-Getting grilled by senior management in QBRs
-Marketing asking why the lead with no phone and a personal email didnt convert into a meeting
-Getting grilled by senior management in QBRs
-Marketing asking why the lead with no phone and a personal email didnt convert into a meeting
Shoutout to marketing for asking me why a lead they misspelled the email for didn't convert into a meeting .
Has a cold call told you to go kill yourself yet?
I've fucked with them and said ok I'm writing your name, company and phone number on my suicide note and we record our calls. They freak out lol
lol, I love this comeback!
same - die in hell
No but I have been told to go f myself which is basically the same thing
1) insomnia
2) caffeine addiction
3) crying
4)poverty
If you make it through that - a shit ton of money.
caffeine addiction i currently so gotta get over that hump
For me moving at least every 2 hours, standing during calls and taking coffee at 6:30am and 10am then switching to tea at 2pm helped me out. That and almost constant hydration.
I'm with you on the constant hydration part. Usually try to cut my coffee in take out by noon, however for the days I'm sluggish I squeeze an afternoon cup in. Addiction can be real.
I feel that, for most of my 20s I was addicted to soda and blew up to about 300 lbs (yay pre-diabetes!). The struggle is real.
damn; what's next? testicle cancer?
Nah, prostate.
Having HR dislike you for being straight
Ha, in college I got sexually harassed by a male professor. When I reported it they counseled ME on homophobia!
fuk that!
really?
sh*t happens sometimes
wtf, really?
yeah... the strange world of 2021 and the chronicles of everyone is offended.
Evrbody is offended nowadays
Yeah - so better run away from HR
I had a mental breakdown that restructured the sales team, that was fun
Need to hear this story plz go on
Wow judging on the comments I hmalreqdy went through a lot of this stuff in my short career. On the other hand a lot of this stuff is scary because I know it will happen to me as well.
your parents or relatives offhandedly suggesting that you get a "real job" or an MBA
working your ass off to close a deal and having the deal desk or sales opps team reject the deal for some ridiculous reason, then going crazy until they approve whatever they were trying to reject initially
I’m already ready for deal desk to fuck me over somehow someway
I feel this in my plums
Definitely winning your first deal
Losing your first deal
Having a huge deal ghost you
Having a huge deal that ghosted you come back
Having a small deal call you EVERY DAY for a status check
Having a deal completely blow up in your face for unknown reasons
Losing your first deal
Having a huge deal ghost you
Having a huge deal that ghosted you come back
Having a small deal call you EVERY DAY for a status check
Having a deal completely blow up in your face for unknown reasons
Question what marketing's purpose is.
This is a daily occurrence for me
8am: CEO presents new POA for sales team
4pm: CEO sends email to disregard POA for sales team
For all my start-up savages out there, you know what I'm talking about.
4pm: CEO sends email to disregard POA for sales team
For all my start-up savages out there, you know what I'm talking about.
Commission clawback when the client signs the contract, but doesn't pay.
Ah shit I’m cringing at the thought of this, knowing damn well it’ll happen to me at some point
Fucking up a referral from a channel partner and getting reamed out is a sinking feeling like no other
sh*t
Having a prospect threaten to report you (god only knows to who) if you call them again
Oh that’s a good one, gotta love a good chew out from a prospect
Getting a promotion the first month into Q3 when you are over quarterly goal and 80% to yearly goal. having one month to close out deals. then an empty pipe.....then a new vp is brought in by the mothership and is like where is your pipe....took 6 months to get a semblance of a pipe together and then they told me i was joining another team to cover a different vertical/aspect of the business.
4 weeks later Management could not believe i was leaving....the promotion was a nice base bump. i chalk it up to a cost of the game at this point but still stings a bit 2 years on if i reflect on it too long.
S.A.D.N.E.S.S.
4 weeks later Management could not believe i was leaving....the promotion was a nice base bump. i chalk it up to a cost of the game at this point but still stings a bit 2 years on if i reflect on it too long.
S.A.D.N.E.S.S.
Wow this is some big time S.A.D.N.E.S.S. But it sounds like you’re in a better spot now after the mess management made
Closing a great deal with nice margins only to have the entire implementations team fuck it up from day one and shit on you for “selling it wrong”. Running through every road block there is including internal (or steam rolling through those fuckers). Getting threatened to get written up by commercial finance for not asking them to slow your deal down six months ago when they ignored the 10 emails you sent asking for help. Doing tech support cuz your product team got their MBA at the bottom of a cereal box and didn’t train the tech support org on a new product. All to learn that the secret to sales is just grinning and bearing it and waking up early and doing the damn job ;)
I’m ready for implementation to fuck things up on day one, in the back of my mind with each deal I feel they’ll screw things up
Long story short, SDRs did not have territories…..and it was hell
we were always stepping on each other’s toes (niche market)
I moved too fast and sometimes tan into other peoples prospects/deals and got yelled at by my coworkers, but eventually I felt like they just yelled/ complained at me for everything (all digitally over email, CRM and messaging apps)
we would sometimes try to sell to different people at the same company-so that made it even harder
Needless to say we are now all now partnered with An AE all in separate territories
We’re growing and have been crushing quota- so yes, it was well worth having a sob/anger fest on zoom
Sweet lordy that sounds like a bloodbath as an SDR
Missing your quota for the first time and being fired
Ooof that very much is a tough rite of passage
Drinking too much coffee and stress pooping at least 3x on the way to the client meeting
Drinking too much coffee and being way to sweaty under your suit jacket during the meeting
Shutting down the hotel bar at a conference with a bunch of randoms you met earlier on the expo floor
Having your laptop die mid-presentation live in front of the client
Living on airport food and coffee on a multi-day, multi-city trip with tight deadlines
Getting bed bugs from that cheap-ass hotel you had to stay at in some large city because your expense policy is cheap
Having your heart rate double when your VP calls at 430 PM on a Friday to ask about that deal after you've already started drinking
Farting in the elevator at the client's offices
Having your commission reduced on that huge deal because you "needed help"
Getting a bonus on top of commission on that huge deal that you ran like a rockstar
Drinking too much coffee and being way to sweaty under your suit jacket during the meeting
Shutting down the hotel bar at a conference with a bunch of randoms you met earlier on the expo floor
Having your laptop die mid-presentation live in front of the client
Living on airport food and coffee on a multi-day, multi-city trip with tight deadlines
Getting bed bugs from that cheap-ass hotel you had to stay at in some large city because your expense policy is cheap
Having your heart rate double when your VP calls at 430 PM on a Friday to ask about that deal after you've already started drinking
Farting in the elevator at the client's offices
Having your commission reduced on that huge deal because you "needed help"
Getting a bonus on top of commission on that huge deal that you ran like a rockstar
I feel like i live by the "drinking too much coffee & being too sweaty" on a daily basis even in something less than a suit for a meeting.
Right? What happened to the times when every conference room was a meat locker.
This is totally the worst when you have to take that connecting flight on the shitty little plane with no room to air the pits.
This is totally the worst when you have to take that connecting flight on the shitty little plane with no room to air the pits.
- Getting drunk after hours on the road.
- Showing up hungover the next day to the trade show.
- Winning your first big deal.
- Losing a deal for some arbitrary reason.
- Stepping on another rep's territory by accident.
- Misgendering a prospect.
- Accidently bypassing a decision-maker.
- Wishing you told that rude prospect where to shove their attitude.
- Considering quitting via email at 8am.
- 7am airport beers.
- Room service on the company card.
- Scrambling to get the proposal together at the 11th hour.
I also had a few specific to my industry (defence):
- Getting drunk on a nuclear aircraft carrier.
- Sneaking booze into banned countries for prospects.
- Prospects wanting to get "entertainment" when out of the home country.
- Letting the local military believe you're some kind of Rambo so they big up your solution to the generals.
- Using time overseas to see some world wonders.
- Finding ways to bypass local firewalls to watch Netflix in the hotel.
- Keeping a folder with all the different kinds of money from countries you visited.
- Showing up hungover the next day to the trade show.
- Winning your first big deal.
- Losing a deal for some arbitrary reason.
- Stepping on another rep's territory by accident.
- Misgendering a prospect.
- Accidently bypassing a decision-maker.
- Wishing you told that rude prospect where to shove their attitude.
- Considering quitting via email at 8am.
- 7am airport beers.
- Room service on the company card.
- Scrambling to get the proposal together at the 11th hour.
I also had a few specific to my industry (defence):
- Getting drunk on a nuclear aircraft carrier.
- Sneaking booze into banned countries for prospects.
- Prospects wanting to get "entertainment" when out of the home country.
- Letting the local military believe you're some kind of Rambo so they big up your solution to the generals.
- Using time overseas to see some world wonders.
- Finding ways to bypass local firewalls to watch Netflix in the hotel.
- Keeping a folder with all the different kinds of money from countries you visited.
Closing the first deal and get so wasted you forget your name.
I am praying I get that drunk after closing my first deal
Do it!!! it's part of the experience!
It can only go up from the fist lose, remember it and be ready to get some deals. Best of luck!
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