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Rolling master list of people who should be tortured/killed (week 2)

Skipped last week but let's keep this going. For the newbies on here flinging shit against the wall, this is very simple: it's just a list of people who should be killed and/or tortured. Keep it related to the workplace/business


Here's what we have so far:

-office fish re-heaters

-extended auto warranty call center operators

-people who ask what your favorite CRM is

-anyone who replies all to a company wide email (shoutout ๏ปฟ@MrsTechSales๏ปฟ for getting most votes on the last thread)

-people that don't put Kahlua in their Cheerios -- can't believe I missed this but thanks for the reminder ๏ปฟ@funcoupons๏ปฟ


Who else deserves a beating?

๐Ÿฑ Off-Topic
๐Ÿ˜‚ Sales Humor
๐Ÿ™ Corporate Experiences
23
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
People that use the last of the water in the Keurig and walk away, leaving that shit drier than some of the topics posted in the WR right now.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
That's straight up dirty.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Completely fair to throw hands in this case.ย 

I am a human before my first coffee, but I don't hide who I dislike.ย 
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
I'm so British, what's a Keurig? Do I like that now?
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
People who chew with their mouth openย 

Marketing as a wholeย 

S/BDRโ€™s that keep hitting you up incessantly after sending you a shitty lead
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Senior Account Executive
Especially when there is already an open opp listed on the account. Bitch can you read? ๐Ÿ‘€
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
No, they canโ€™t. Thatโ€™s why youโ€™re there
Show 1 more replies
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
Marketing as a whole is a given. They're penciled in from a sudden visit from Satan.
WCK
Notorious Answer
+11
Padre de Tequila, General of the Coors Knights
Satanโ€™s playthings
Ch
ChunkyButters
Politicker
+5
AE
People who chew with their mouth open for sure....but add in a noisy mouth open chewer and I might go postal
cw95
Politicker
+6
Pricing Executive
Since uni in 2015/16 I have lived with mouth eaters. My house mate can't understand why on a date they don't want to come back...it's due to your eating. I wish, I really wish there was a term for people like this. I'm mad now
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
People who pull their pants all the way down at the urinal
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
I feel attacked.
DungeonsNDemos
Politicker
+7
AE of B2B
What if it's a urinal I got put in at my home because I WFH and wanted it to feel more like the office?
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
+7
SDR
Hmmm that might be the only exception, especially if you paid for itย 
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
I'm sorry, you're still experiencing this?
SaaSam
Politicker
+6
Account Executive
CISOs that bitch about salesmen on LinkedIn and then bitch about being called out.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Anyone who willingly brings fish into an office and reheats it.ย 

I don't care if you're on a 'cut' Brad.ย 
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
Already covered. But don't worry, your sentiment is widely felt here:

https://bravado.co/war-room/posts/reheating-fish-in-the-office-punishment
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
+8
Sales Savages, what is our profession? Trauma!
Good, good, even in times of darkness hope rises.ย 
CaneWolf
Politicker
+12
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Sycophants who kiss the bosses' asses when asked dumb questions.
DataSlangah
Politicker
+4
SAE
Maybe it is just me, but people that take a victory lap after every close.ย  I can read the fucking leaderboard, clown.ย  I don't need to hear every detail of the deal you just closed.ย ย 
beermoney
Politicker
+4
SDR
SDR managers that insist the webinar leads are goodย 
Broncosfan
Politicker
+5
Account Manager
Grown men who are basically sexual predators to sdrs and entry level employees.
UserNotFound
Politicker
+9
Mid Market Manager
*any level employee
Broncosfan
Politicker
+5
Account Manager
Completely agree
UserNotFound
Politicker
+9
Mid Market Manager
People who take a dump and leave the door open afterwards to let the bathroom "air out"ย 
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
Murder would 100% be justified...wtf
UserNotFound
Politicker
+9
Mid Market Manager
Itโ€™s so disgusting. And they always think coating it in Febreeze is the answer? Your โ€œfresh linen shit smellโ€ makes me want to puke on your keyboard, Chad.
Beercules
Politicker
+2
BDR
You should leave a box of matches in the stall/bathroom - Lighting a match kills the smell every time. I always have a box on me just in case
Incognito
WR Officer
+11
Master of Disaster
I forgot about that trick
NeanderthalToNerd
Valued Contributor
+3
Business Development Rep
People that waste time asking easily googleable questions at the end of a useless meeting to โ€œengageโ€.
Balloons4baboons
Opinionated
+2
Account Executive
People who ask a question when the meeting is over.

Assholes who don't make more coffee when they take the last of it.

Grown ass people who leave their dishes in the sink for the office manager to do.

IT guys who insist on being on a product demo and over complicating things.
TechSalesQueen
Catalyst
+5
Sr. Enterprise Account Executive
The girl I worked with who heated up tilapia every single day for a year in the shared office microwave at 11am so no one else would be able to use it and then sat across from me eating it with her mouth open spewing tilapia fumes hovering over me and her for an entire hour as slowly as humanly possible and couldnโ€™t sell for shit. ย I havenโ€™t worked in an office or eaten tilapia since.ย 
paddy
WR Officer
+10
Account Executive
Good god.
TechSalesQueen
Catalyst
+5
Sr. Enterprise Account Executive
The only thing she could close was the abrupt premature end to a potentially decent conversation
Stratifyz
Opinionated
+9
Business Development Rep
The CISO from Gusto needs an ass whoopin!
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49
Rolling master list of people who should be tortured/killed (week 1)
Discussion
114