paddy profile picture
paddy profile picture

paddy

Director of Business Development

WR Officer
Notorious Answer
Arsonist
+10

Rolling master list of people who should be tortured/killed (week 2)

Skipped last week but let's keep this going. For the newbies on here flinging shit against the wall, this is very simple: it's just a list of people who should be killed and/or tortured. Keep it related to the workplace/business


Here's what we have so far:

-office fish re-heaters

-extended auto warranty call center operators

-people who ask what your favorite CRM is

-anyone who replies all to a company wide email (shoutout @MrsTechSales for getting most votes on the last thread)

-people that don't put Kahlua in their Cheerios -- can't believe I missed this but thanks for the reminder @funcoupons


Who else deserves a beating?

🐱 Off-Topic
😂 Sales Humor
🏙 Corporate Experiences
23

38 comments

Sort by:
funcoupons
WR Officer
18
👑
People that use the last of the water in the Keurig and walk away, leaving that shit drier than some of the topics posted in the WR right now.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
5
🦊
That's straight up dirty.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
3
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
Completely fair to throw hands in this case. 

I am a human before my first coffee, but I don't hide who I dislike. 
cw95
Politicker
0
Sales Development Lead
I'm so British, what's a Keurig? Do I like that now?
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
7
SDR
People who pull their pants all the way down at the urinal
paddy
WR Officer
8
Director of Business Development
I feel attacked.
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
1
Rolling 20's all day
What if it's a urinal I got put in at my home because I WFH and wanted it to feel more like the office?
inboundsalesrep
Politicker
1
SDR
Hmmm that might be the only exception, especially if you paid for it 
CaneWolf
Politicker
1
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
I'm sorry, you're still experiencing this?
SaaSam
Politicker
5
Account Executive
CISOs that bitch about salesmen on LinkedIn and then bitch about being called out.
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
4
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
Anyone who willingly brings fish into an office and reheats it. 

I don't care if you're on a 'cut' Brad. 
paddy
WR Officer
4
Director of Business Development
Already covered. But don't worry, your sentiment is widely felt here:

https://bravado.co/war-room/posts/reheating-fish-in-the-office-punishment
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
3
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
Good, good, even in times of darkness hope rises. 
CaneWolf
Politicker
3
Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract
Sycophants who kiss the bosses' asses when asked dumb questions.
DataSlangah
Politicker
3
SAE
Maybe it is just me, but people that take a victory lap after every close.  I can read the fucking leaderboard, clown.  I don't need to hear every detail of the deal you just closed.  
beermoney
Politicker
3
Business Development
SDR managers that insist the webinar leads are good 
Broncosfan
Politicker
2
Account Manager
Grown men who are basically sexual predators to sdrs and entry level employees.
UserNotFound
Politicker
3
Account Executive
*any level employee
Broncosfan
Politicker
2
Account Manager
Completely agree
UserNotFound
Politicker
1
Account Executive
People who take a dump and leave the door open afterwards to let the bathroom "air out" 
funcoupons
WR Officer
4
👑
Murder would 100% be justified...wtf
UserNotFound
Politicker
2
Account Executive
It’s so disgusting. And they always think coating it in Febreeze is the answer? Your “fresh linen shit smell” makes me want to puke on your keyboard, Chad.
Beercules
Politicker
2
SDR
You should leave a box of matches in the stall/bathroom - Lighting a match kills the smell every time. I always have a box on me just in case
Incognito
WR Officer
1
Master of Disaster
I forgot about that trick
NeanderthalToNerd
Valued Contributor
1
Account Manager
People that waste time asking easily googleable questions at the end of a useless meeting to “engage”.
Balloons4baboons
Opinionated
1
Account Executive
People who ask a question when the meeting is over.

Assholes who don't make more coffee when they take the last of it.

Grown ass people who leave their dishes in the sink for the office manager to do.

IT guys who insist on being on a product demo and over complicating things.
TechSalesQueen
Executive
1
Sr. Enterprise Account Executive
The girl I worked with who heated up tilapia every single day for a year in the shared office microwave at 11am so no one else would be able to use it and then sat across from me eating it with her mouth open spewing tilapia fumes hovering over me and her for an entire hour as slowly as humanly possible and couldn’t sell for shit.  I haven’t worked in an office or eaten tilapia since. 
paddy
WR Officer
1
Director of Business Development
Good god.
TechSalesQueen
Executive
0
Sr. Enterprise Account Executive
The only thing she could close was the abrupt premature end to a potentially decent conversation
Stratifyz
Big Shot
0
Account Executive
The CISO from Gusto needs an ass whoopin!

Related posts

5

It's Mondayyyy! What are some things you do to kickstart your week?

Discussion
🐱
🏹
😃
7
13

Last Day of Q2. Let the celebrations begin!

Official
📈 Closing
1
49
Members only

Rolling master list of people who should be tortured/killed (week 1)

Discussion
🐱
😂
🏰
114
Bravado is a community of trusted sales professionals endorsed by their customers.
Apple Store logo
Products
The War Room Jobs Salary Guide Tech Sales U
Company
About Us How It Works Blog Bug Bounty
Contact
Press Careers
© 2024 Bravado Inc. All rights reserved.
Privacy Policy Legal and Privacy Center Sales Jobs
If you are hired as a contract sales rep by a Bravado customer, we may ask you to prove access to the employee email account provided to you by that customer. This data will be shared with customers to track your sales productivity; customers can use this data to confirm you meet the minimum activity requirements to pay out your ramp stipend and commission.