This is a question for bosses & employees alike, and I haven't really found good answers thus far online so curious to know everyone's experience. For those with spouses/kids, has being the sole provider vs. being in a two-income family ever played into salary negotiations – either (for bosses) when assessing raises/setting salary for new or current hires, or (for your own salary) when requesting raises or negotiating salary at a new job? Thinking along the lines of a single mom or dad or someone whose spouse doesn't work outside the home (stay at home mom or dad) being able to negotiate higher salary based on them being the sole provider.

handysales

Enterprise Sales Lead

Salary question: Does being a one-income vs. two-income family play into your salary negotiations?

This is a question for bosses & employees alike, and I haven't really found good answers thus far online so curious to know everyone's experience.

For those with spouses/kids, has being the sole provider vs. being in a two-income family ever played into salary negotiations – either

(for bosses) when assessing raises/setting salary for new or current hires, or
(for your own salary) when requesting raises or negotiating salary at a new job?

Thinking along the lines of a single mom or dad or someone whose spouse doesn't work outside the home (stay at home mom or dad) being able to negotiate higher salary based on them being the sole provider.

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19 comments

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Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

I'm the primary breadwinner in my family. I don't bring it up in salary negotiations, however; it's not anybody else's business how I manage my personal life when it comes to compensation. I just know my own worth and that's how I have my current OTE.

handysales

Politicker

Enterprise Sales Lead

Thanks for sharing – the more I think about it that's where I continue to land. It's new territory for me, so was really just an honest question.

Sunbunny31

Politicker

Sr Sales Executive 🐰

Totally fine. It should be in your mind when you consider salary, because you have to consider what is going to make your situation viable at the least and hopefully considerably better than that, but it's not something typically shared during negotiations.

FamilyTruckster

Politicker

Exec Director, Major Accounts

Single income family here.

I have NEVER nor will I ever adjust someone’s pay based on their life choices. You never know who is relying on that “single” person. Can’t assume shit.

If someone is underpaid and they deserve a market adjustment, do it. Can’t just give someone a bonus because they made a choice. Using the same logic you could give a raise to someone who YOLO’d everything on blackberry stock.

On the flip side, I fight for every fucking dollar I earn. I push for base every chance I get. It matters greatly to me that I show up, win, and get paid. Has a huge impact on driving me to do better.

Love the question.

handysales

Politicker

Enterprise Sales Lead

Great answer - I appreciate the insight.

Incognito

WR Officer

Master of Disaster

Ok. I came back for a hot minute because this shit pisses me the fuck off.

My personal life is none of your fucking business. I should never be penalized because I chose not to breed or have a sugar baby.

If an asshat gives a raise or higher salary to someone else because they didn’t use a condom, they can go fuck themselves.

handysales

Politicker

Enterprise Sales Lead

Just looking for honest input. No need to pop a vein, jeez.

Incognito

WR Officer

Master of Disaster

Lolz @ the downvote

you asked for honest input, I gave it. No need to cry if it isn’t what you want to hear.

handysales

Politicker

Enterprise Sales Lead

At least there's two of us crying here about what we don't want to read. I'll even take away the downvote, lol.

Cristles

Contributor

AE (Account Executive)

You should always leave private matters private. And should not be used in negotiating.
You would not tell your boss that your spouse got a raise, and when you ask for it yourself your boss can tell you; why do you need a raise? Your spouse just got one the other month.
The raise is based on your performance and your attitude nothing more.
Once you negotiated on those terms. They will always hold it against you. Remember when I helped you out.
You don’t give favors, you take them.

Avon

Politicker

Senior Account Executive

It better not. That’s essentially discriminating against the childless.

SaaSam

Politicker

Account Executive

I can see a well grounded boss using that when assessing a raise or setting a salary if they can tell that is an important factor for a current or soon to be employee.

I've never used it myself in negotiations though. When I'm negotiating a raise or salary with a potentially new company I focus on why I'm worth it not why I need/want it. My wife is a stay at home mom so I need to make more money than I would if ours was a two income house but I don't bring that up.

handysales

Politicker

Enterprise Sales Lead

That's good insight. Literally have no frame of reference for it and I'm only recently now the sole income for my family, so I thought it was a legitimate discussion to have either way.

In my head that's where I keep coming down at – I'm worth what I'm worth regardless of family status, but at the same time I would think any solid boss would take the # of mouths to feed into account (all other things being equal - less incentive for the employee to take on side hustles if they feel more secure, less stressed about money generally, etc).

Anyway, thanks for sharing.

SalesSage

Valued Contributor

National Account Manager

I get the question and curiosity but I have to say it shouldn't matter. The individual needs what they need, personal choices are just that.

JDialz

Politicker

Chief Operating Officer

I agree with everyone who basically said no, each individual should be considered solely on what they are bringing to the table as an individual.

Furthermore, with respect to the employer's side of the consideration, weighing such factors as marital status and having/not having children when making compensation decisions may also be illegal.

handysales

Politicker

Enterprise Sales Lead

Yeah, it's been a helpful thing to think through as a result of everyone's thoughts. I truly came at it with no frame of reference either way.

Seems like the smart (and legal and fair) thing is to know what you're worth and what you need in order to cover your own household needs, but not use the latter as an actual bargaining chip in negotiations.

Lambda

Tycoon

Sales Consultant

Never has come up, im hiring the individual, Everyone has there own life situations
What about the divorced father paying child support?
What if he cheated,
What if he was on the bad end of the law stick and his wife cheated on him.
Should it be part of the conversation? Maybe but only from a human perspective. ultimatley you have to sell the position to them, if it fits your company and there lifestyle then its a win win

hh456

Celebrated Contributor

sales

Yes! Gotta push for more. But a good employer is going to figure out if you’re married and try to pay you half of what median average household is.
They aren’t allowed to ask but they can say things like:
- oh you’re wedding ring is gorgeous. My husband and I just celebrated our 20th anniversary this weekend!
- sorry for being late, kiddo just scraped her knee in gym, had to talk to the nurse. Kids…
By opening like that they can get the unaware to reveal they’re married, dating, in a relationship, the partner works and if they have kids. Then they can negotiate you down because if your partner is bringing in money they’ll know you’ll take less because your joint incomes sill be more and you’ll convince yourself you’re doing better than you were, when you just took a discount, steep one too. Human psychology is nuts.
Always push push push! If a company is profitable and they are wasting it on lear jets and marketing, ask for more compensation!

Flippinghubs

Opinionated

Account Executive

Absolutely

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handysales

Salary question: Does being a one-income vs. two-income family play into your salary negotiations?

19 comments

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