Significant other exercise

I'm a exercise nut, 2 a days, juijitsu, if its moving I want to partake. My wife on the other hand...... she could sleep the entire day away and be fine with it. There is NOTHING wrong with this if that's what you want but she complains about her weight and figure frequently enough for me to say something but we all know how that goes.


Anyone out there have advice on how to get your significant other interested in it?


I understand the benefits, and she does too! When it comes to action though, its damn near impossible.


Thanks in advance!

🏄 Personal Life
💪 Motivation
22
Justatitle
Big Shot
11
Account Executive
ITS A TRAP!!!! DO NOT ENGAGE! TREAT IT AS IF IT WAS A LOADED GRENADE AND YOU ARE HOLDING THE PIN. I REPEAT ITS A TRAP!
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
i know right! I can't bring it up but at the same time i want a healthy wife, lord help me if i have to take care of my kids by myself lol

Justatitle
Big Shot
1
Account Executive
Im assuming your wife has friends, ask her friend to encourage her to start working out with her and position it as looking out for her best interests. This has to be a friend you trust and she can never know it was your idea 
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
shes the best looking/most in shape by FAR out of all her friends and brazilians like to talk (not in a bad way) but this angle has burned me twice already lol
diet75
Big Shot
1
Enterprise AE
I think this is a terrible perspective.  Sounds like she may be suffering from a bout of depression. 


@Lambda I'd express your real feelings to your wife. No assumptions about her experience or what she might think. Just open up about how it makes YOU feel, with her bringing up her weight and her figure to you. Seems like it makes you feel trapped, guilty, walking on egg shells etc.

A marriage that you can't be honest in is not worth it. If you love her, and if she loves you, then you both deserve to be real here.
Justatitle
Big Shot
0
Account Executive
wow going straight for the sentimental gut punch. Nicely done @leb0ng 

beachNsales
Politicker
0
Sales Manager
you get it
paddy
WR Officer
3
Director of Business Development
U could always just kill her?
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
im guessing you mean attempt to kill her? this would be a gross oversimplification of motivation but maybe?
paddy
WR Officer
0
Director of Business Development
Self-doubt is toxic ya know
BmajoR
Arsonist
1
Account Executive
You've been Paddy'd 
funcoupons
WR Officer
2
👑
Do fun, date like activities together that involve physical activity. Hiking, a bike ride through the park, trying out rock climbing or a dance class together. You'll get to spend time together, it's fun, and healthy. Maybe she'll like one of the activities so much she continues doing it on her own or joins a group/class.

Also diet has more to do with weight than exercise so plan and cook healthy meals together. Don't buy junk food. If going out to eat, try a healthier option rather than pizza or burgers every time. 
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
you'd be hard pressed to find junk in our house but i agree diet is king
SalesGal
Politicker
1
Account Executive
My husband and I did weight watchers together. I did it alone at first and he eventually joined in since we don’t usually cook seperate meals. We lost all the weight we had gained when we first got married and have kept it off. If exercise isn’t her thing (its not for me) then nutrition could be another way to approach the weight loss.
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
awesome! glad it worked for you
Wolfof7thStreet
Valued Contributor
1
AE
Kinda having this problem with my GF and this thread.... scaring me
UserNotFound
Politicker
1
Account Executive
Okay, so speaking from a wife's perspective. Tell her you WANT to try something together. Let her pick out a workout, tell her you'll do anything- even Zumba. (and do it.)

"It's not about the work out, it's about spending time together in a way that I truly think you'll not only love, but get results from that you'll love. I want you to be happy, and I know right now you feel insecure about some things, and I'm here to help you feel less of that insecurity. I'll look silly with you, I'll try something new with you." 

For me it's not about lazy or motivated, I have always been a 'I dont exercise' person (until just a few months ago) and looking back I can see that it was all down to the fear of trying something new and not being good at it. 

I've been doing JiiJitsu since April and rolled for the first time this week- and the whole time I apologized for not being good enough. It's something I need to work on, but I'm just basically trying to convey- if your wife deals with anxiety at all, this is likely what's at work here and not laziness. Just be stern in that you NEED her to do this with you, but give her the freedom of choice to pick what it is. 
Blackwargreymon
Politicker
1
MDR
U could always just kill her?
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
Plastic surgery helps if you want to be lazy. 

diet too. 

but you kinda need a combo of lots of things to have a healthy lean body. 

idk, if I’m unhappy with the way I look I remind myself that every single “sexy” celebrity was not born looking that way. They were made AFTER the fact. Sure, it’s easier when you have a personal trainer, personal chef, personal assistant, manager and all the things - but it doesn’t mean everyone else can’t do the same. It just takes more effort. If you want it bad enough, it will happen. 

try that angle maybe? And go WITH HER to some kind of exercise. Like a morning walk. Tennis on Sunday. Yoga. ANYTHING.
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
oh trust me i have tried doing it with her, that went poorly, we went on a walk, she had a chocolate covered waffle in her hand, i shouldnt have said anything but like why are you walking at that point?!?
SaaSsy
Politicker
0
AE
Gift her some personal training sessions so she feels comfortable with getting started, and once she finds what she likes, it easier to keep that habit going once it’s built.
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
100% the only issue is that she says she is too tired to do anything after watching the kids, so im sort of waiting on this idea until they are older to either go with her or i have more money to pay for a sitter while she goes
DrunkenArt
Politicker
0
Sales Representative
Not as active as you, but I'm definitely more active than my wife. What I started doing is going on a walk with her, which gradually turned into some running, which turned into an actual running exercise. Since we started doing it, I'm down about 15lbs and she's down about 10lbs. We're both happier and it gives us something to look forward to. 
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
patience i guess is the key, i cant stand running and walking is even worse haha
DrunkenArt
Politicker
0
Sales Representative
If you hate walking, fill a tumbler with your favorite adult beverage and then you'll get way more into it
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
0
☕️
Find something that is active, but isn't labeled as "exercise" For example, my wife and I will rent kayaks or pedal boats on the river a few times a month. We're doing it together, it's active as hell, but it's not a run or going to the gym. We are both plenty active, but we like to combine calorie burn with date days and it does the trick.
CharmingSalesGal
Politicker
0
Account Executive
I've def been in this boat and it's not fun. I think you have to have a serious conversation about why her words and actions don't correlate and ultimately, it's not your job to motivate her to want to live a healthier life...

It's a real tricky situation but maybe if you explain to her your frustrations of listening to her complaints and seeing her lack of actions as well as your desire (and need) for her to live as long as you, she'll understand. Full transparency, I understand that this is an absolutely touchy subject for most people. 😂
OnlySales
Opinionated
1
Regional Enterprise Sales Manager
I read all the comments and being a female myself, I agree with the conversation approach. But I would hear it around health. I’m concerned about our health and we need to live long for our kids. And start small, try limiting chocolate waffles for the weekends only. I also agree with the peloton (there is a 30day trial) - there’s a lot of fun Latin rides on there she might like! Also a lot of the group workouts have trials so you guys can try classes together. Trial and error - it’s not an easy conversation but it needs to be had. Not sure if she had a friend group in town but that can be encouraging to go with her friends while you watch the bebes
SiliconBBQ
Politicker
0
The Metal Rooster
start small. maybe just walks together. encourage her. take up some kind of light activity together.
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
yea this is looking like the only option but damn is is boring
kingofgamehendge
Good Citizen
0
Strategic Account Executive
I've actually had this conversation recently. My GF exercises at least 5 days a week but lost the genetic lottery and still wants to lose weight. We've talked about different types of diets and fasting (particularly intermittent fasting). But she's open to exercising more, sleeping more, eating better. I tried to tie everything down to our "healthspan" -- which is to say how long you can live and enjoy your life. I found this JRE podcast with David Sinclair really illustrative ( https://open.spotify.com/episode/55UlxYWPfV46f7puMkZPeD?si=1d61fdb1b2b04e01) and specifically framed it as "babe, i know you are trying so hard at this but not yet getting the results you want. Unfortunately, being a bit overweight long run accelerates your biological age, and I the last thing I would want is for us to both be 70 and not be able to live the same lives together. This was well received (though emotional) because it ties the desired change back to wanting to live long lives of love together. hope this helps! 
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
i have tried this biologic age piece, she just doesnt care haha, looks like ill need to look for a new wife at 70 
IAMAM
Catalyst
0
Account Manager
Honestly, buy a Peloton! The programming is great and is entertaining. If she gets into and finds some instructors she likes, she may really love it. And you can frame it as "I bought this for us" and just buy her a pair of shoes with it. Worst case scenario, you get a Peloton for yourself even if she doesn't use it LOL
Lambda
Tycoon
1
Sales Consultant
saving up those commish points to get one!
CloudyWithAChanceOfQuota
Politicker
0
Corporate AE
While I don't really think its ever someone's place to comment on someone else's body, I think its important for her to find the kind of movement she enjoys! (just as you have jujitsu)! A good start could be having her check out class pass! It's credit based so you can go to studios all over whatever city, and find something she loves! They have everything from spin and pilates to pole and cirque, so I'm sure she will find something that sparks her interest! 
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
thank you, ill have to try and share that with her
PowerFade58
Fire Starter
0
VP of Sales Dev
Fat pact. My wife and I made it while we were engaged. Neither of us like fatness, but we know life throws us challenges and stress. So we can both gain weight or lose weight together, but the PACT is that we can't have a difference. Where she gains a bunch and I don't or vice versa. It works for us.
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
oooo this is crazy idea but i like it!
Gyro25
Notorious Answer
0
Account Executive
Been doing jiu-jitsu for close to two years now. I don't think I'd be in sales if I wasn't doing jiu-jitsu to balance my stress out. Honestly, I'd ask her what she wants to do. My ex was super into orange theory for the group exercise aspect, maybe give that a go?
Lambda
Tycoon
0
Sales Consultant
Jits for life! what rank?
MrMotivation
Politicker
0
Sales
Kickboxing for sure
MR.StretchISR
Politicker
0
ISR
ITS A TRAP!!!! DO NOT ENGAGE! TREAT IT AS IF IT WAS A LOADED GRENADE AND YOU ARE HOLDING THE PIN. I REPEAT ITS A TRAP!
Clashingsoulsspell
Politicker
0
ISR
Call them first thing in the AM to get things set straight. Better to let them know ASAP and see if you can’t get someone from billing to help you out in giving them a refund or cancelling the invoice. Best to get in front of the issue ASAP
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