paddy

Director of Business Development

Notorious Answer

The intern escaped my liquor cabinet

Anyone have a good security system for keeping your liquor cabinet locked? Been a hectic morning. The intern I've been keeping in there somehow escaped. No clue how he got out but it's clear that I need a new lock/security system and potentially a new cabinet entirely. If anyone has a good one in mind, drop it in the comments. Here is my buying criteria:

-mobile alerts when cabinet opens

-equipped with lasers that vaporize HR within 10 feet of cabinet

-sound proof (yes, the current one is already sound proof but you can never have too many layers)

-Cuban mahogany wood frame

-titanium alloy doors in case of fire

-can hold 30 two-liter bottles of Kahlua

-24 karat gold hook on the outside for my revolver

If anyone sells something like this, hmu I can probably fill half your quota in one sale right here.

-paddy

🏰 War Stories

🥫 Consumer Goods

20

20 comments

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funcoupons

WR Officer

7

👑

If any dumb money wants to invest I'm willing to make this my first ever startup project...

uncorpse

Politicker

0

Sales Development

You're built different! 🔥

funcoupons

WR Officer

5

👑

Your dad agrees

paddy

WR Officer

3

Director of Business Development

HEY.

funcoupons

WR Officer

4

👑

It was before I met u <3

InQ5WeTrust

Arsonist

6

No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL

Why settle for a cabinet? Splurge on an armoire, more room for liquor and interns.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

4

🦊

Ooh love the rich mahogany look 🔥

CoorsKing

WR Officer

4

Retired King of the Coors Knights

Like we discussed, I still think you need a shock collar. Keep them from calling for help but also helps with the back up perimeter defense.

paddy

WR Officer

2

Director of Business Development

I like where your head is at. Them calling for help shouldn't be an issue since I'm reinforcing the walls to drown out any noise. But the shock collar might be fun anyways when I'm bored.

Chep

WR Officer

3

Bitcoin Adoption Specialist

I hear Latch has pretty decent smart home locks and maybe you could put that lock on your cabinet and unlock/lock the intern in straight from your mobile phone

Sheriff

Politicker

3

Sales Trainer

Landmines, lots and lots of Landmines. Or a moat with Sharks with laserbeams

paddy

WR Officer

2

Director of Business Development

Fricken sharks with fricken laser beams attached to their fricken heads?? Love it.

SaaStityBelt

Valued Contributor

2

SDR

Idk what kind of floorplan you're working with but have you considered installing a hidden safe room? Plenty of space for the Kahlua and maybe even multiple interns?

paddy

WR Officer

3

Director of Business Development

I like it. Thanks for the suggestion. I'll have to think about it

SalesSage

Valued Contributor

0

National Account Manager

I think a camera is needed here as well, something like the ring doorbell so any person aiding in the escape is caught as well.

paddy

WR Officer

2

Director of Business Development

I've always had a camera. I'm no rookie.

SalesSage

Valued Contributor

0

National Account Manager

atta boy!!

Stratifyz

Big Shot

0

Account Executive

Maybe something like this should suffice : https://www.roadsideamerica.com/tip/8782

RampagingDog

Politicker

0

Recruitment Consultant

Your revolver? Being that you're in Commie-fornia I'll excuse and educate you. Unless you're rocking an original Colt or a S&W .44 Magnum, you should upgrade, my friend (cool points added if you know, without researching, why the S&W .44 Magnum is acceptable). I mean even the 1911, which won two World Wars, is outdated today. You need to find yourself something that is magazine fed and has an internal striker rather than your traditional hammer.

User1234567

Politicker

-3

User1234567

sounds amazing

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