happyhunter

spittin' sunshine

Valued Contributor

Tips for not bringing heavy personal shit to work??

Speaking to the cold-hearted ones out there. Or at least the ones professional af people who don't wear emotions on their sleeve, in or out of the office....

Guys, I can't help it. I'm a chick who feels deeply (both the good and the bad). Yes, I cry when watching those pet adoption commericals (you're evil if you truly don't feel anything!) ANYWAYS... There have been a handful of instances over the last year (including today) where I've let my heavy personal shit bleed into my workday and impact my day/week/whatever and there's only so many times you can cry over fuckboys in the office bathroom between calls, ya feel me?

What do you do when you are going through heavy life stuff but still have to come into the office with a smiling face ready to crush your numbers? (Taking time off is not an option)

🙏 Mental Wellness

🏄 Personal Life

16

32 comments

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Incognito

WR Officer

15

Master of Disaster

Get a therapist.

No this is not a joke. I’m also secretly an empath who gives too much, and got taken advantage of a lot in my life. Hence the stone cold bitch you see before you. Don’t do that. Get yourself a healthy outlet to work through these emotions so they don’t spill over into places they shouldn’t.

Then remember that work doesn’t care how you feel. It never will. Work only cares about making money. No matter how much you want that to change, it’s never gonna happen. Much easier to just change your perception and accept reality. Call it your “game face”. Whatever. Save your true self for therapy and those you love.

Incognito

WR Officer

10

Master of Disaster

Also - crying over fuckbois was your first mistake

happyhunter

Politicker

1

spittin' sunshine

Haha!! Yes I stuck it out way too long (2 years) in a relationship with the ultimate f boy...finally out of it and coming into my own though! It's a beautiful thing :D

CaneWolf

Politicker

1

Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract

You got out of a 2-year relationship? Yeah, you’re gonna feel some shit! You sound like a normal person to me.

UserNotFound

Politicker

3

Account Executive

Therapy is life. You'll notice that having a dedicated outlet to "feel" allows you to compartmentalize a little better and those emotions don't hit you at inopportune moments as often.

RealEstateVeep

Politicker

1

VP of Real Estate

Seriously, I go to therapy twice a month and actually found out I suffered from a couple disorders. I’m now lightly medicated and I feel loads better about things in my life. Will always advocate for therapy.

UserNotFound

Politicker

1

Account Executive

I'm still struggling with my DXs... I don't want to get medicated but mostly because I just really hate the thought of putting chemicals in my body and not knowing how I'll react. Has your experience been positive from the get-go or have you had to try a few different meds to find balance?

RealEstateVeep

Politicker

1

VP of Real Estate

I went through three combinations. My doctors were awesome and I said nah this makes me feel too flat or foggy. It took maybe a month to find the right combination of type and mg of medicine.

happyhunter

Politicker

1

spittin' sunshine

Yes I've tried therapy here and there over the years but never found the right person to really open up to...or I was too young to really open up for myself. I will find someone. Thanks!

RealEstateVeep

Politicker

3

VP of Real Estate

I’ve had my struggles with it. I’m 30 and just started taking it seriously. I took it off and on since I was 28. I was like well I’m not crazy (rude, I know) and I’m not emotionally scarred so why would I need it? For me it gives me tools to learn how to compartmentalize things like my value at work is not my value as a person and how to create boundaries so I don’t work myself to death but also so I don’t feel guilty for working long hours and feeling I owe my wife and dogs something. That we are entitled to off days and days off and it’s ok to look at others and say dude it’s been a shit day, I’m taking the evening for me and I’ll be better tomorrow. My wife is a victim of sexual assault and rape so her things are heavier. For example we have been dating since I was 19, I’m turning 31 this weekend and I was never told about it until I was 29. She’s learning how to speak to people about it and when to do it but also how to tell me things. One of my favorite movies in anchorman, first time she was raped she was watching it with her first boyfriend (I didn’t know this until I turned it on the other night). You might be somewhere in between us or you might resemble one of us more closely. My advice is to try it on a regular basis if you can! Best of luck to ya!

Incognito

WR Officer

1

Master of Disaster

@AnonymousSource - I was medicated FOR YEARS after a particular doctor convinced me to give it a try.

there are so many side effects they don’t tell you about, and many doctors are incentivized to prescribe it to you. I went through so many different ones and the answer was always “add MORE!” If I didn’t like the way I felt.

I got myself off of everything and I feel so much better.

disclaimer: this was my experience. I am in no way saying that they don’t help people and I know that some people absolutely need them. I personally wanted to feel all the highs AND Lows which is what this medication prevents. They keep you even. Some people like that. I do not.

happyhunter

Politicker

2

spittin' sunshine

Wow thank you so much for sharing your story and I can relate to both of you. I have found a therapist and start tomorrow. Really appreciate your words ❤

happyhunter

Politicker

1

spittin' sunshine

Totally agree...I'd prefer to avoid pills at all costs. Meditation, yoga, exercise, therapy will hopefully be all that I need

happyhunter

Politicker

1

spittin' sunshine

I love this advice on saving my true self for those closest to me...thank you! Definitely something I will work on and try to be more cautious of moving forward.

Incognito

WR Officer

2

Master of Disaster

You got this. Tag me on an old thread if you ever want to vent. I’ll show up @happyhunter 🖤

happyhunter

Politicker

2

spittin' sunshine

I took a social media break for a week so just catching up to all of these messages now. Thanks @Incognito . Your words mean more than you know 💕

Incognito

WR Officer

0

Master of Disaster

Gotta stick together @happyhunter 💪

SaaSam

Politicker

5

Account Executive

This isn't me being a smart ass. You should take up jiujitsu, minimum 2 times a week. Great physical outlet plus gives you a ton of confidence which translates into a better hold on your emotional response to the bullshit that happens in life.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

3

🦊

When you are work you are at work. Nothing else. Set the boundaries and follow them. You can do it.

Do.it.for.the.checks

Politicker

3

Account Executive

Full honesty I deal by winning.

Asshole fuckboi, go crush the phone. Show that asshole by taking the bank.

Personal shit, I'm taking 1 hour and shutting out the world. Just gonna focus on work.

This builds on it self. We all need a way to blow of steam. In college I used the gym and pushed myself until hurt. Now I use work. I can bury myself for a few hours and not think about anything but the task at hand.

Not sure if that helps, but to me in a competitive world like sales. It can be an outlet for the frustration.

Do.it.for.the.checks

Politicker

3

Account Executive

And now that I'm more senior, I go and throw down a call-off with the SDR team. 1 hour anyone who can set more meetings than me gets lunch. Usually, I'm setting meetings for others, but it's still fun competition (and usually ends in company-paid happy hour)

happyhunter

Politicker

0

spittin' sunshine

Totally! I definitely use losses/negative people and experiences to push me towards my goals. Sometimes though it's hard to stay so focused on work when there's a lot of external things coming at me

Do.it.for.the.checks

Politicker

1

Account Executive

Yeah sorry, I cant help then.

I de-stress by doing. Rough day, cooking dinner and doing dishes calms me down. Different personality type

FattySnacks

Politicker

2

Senior Account Executive

Talk to a therapist 💯 💯 shit can change your life

alecabral

Arsonist

2

Director - Digital Sales Transformation

I just power through, and hope nothing gets in the way. If it does, I disengage.

1nbatopshotfan

Politicker

2

Sales

Take a sick day if you need it. That’s what they are there for.

BoatsnBros

Contributor

1

Business Development Manager

Don’t check your cell phone and stay in the zone.

0PercentCloseRate

Politicker

1

Oh boy

Emotions are power--they give you motivation to push through the day, both good feelings and bad feelings. Salespeople are some of the most openly emotional people in the office. (sure, we like to pretend we're cold-blooded savages, but we're not, we're people too. If you want cold-blooded robots go talk to someone at the DMV)

Granted, you probably shouldn't be in tears on the phone, but I've used salty, sad, and rage-filled attitudes to help me stick to qual-questions and keep the prospect engaged. If I'm feeling a certain way, putting in some dials usually makes me feel better too.

If you're worried about being stigmatized or labeled as the office crybaby, then you could either a) get ahead of it, own your emotional moments, and double down on your quota or b) keep that shit internal and drive it into your work. Whatever fits your style.

This is all coming from someone who's openly an emotional creative, and owns the fact that they get heated, frustrated, discouraged, sad, and happy. It's part of being human.

I can't speak to therapy, since I've never really consulted anyone except Dr. McGillicuddy

happyhunter

Politicker

0

spittin' sunshine

I love all of this so much hahaha! Thanks for the thought out and funny response!!

CaneWolf

Politicker

1

Call me what you want, just sign the damn contract

1) Those commercials sneak up on you and it’s unfair. And I say that as somebody involved in the rescue world! 2) Everyone lets personal stuff bleed through sometimes 3) Incognito is right about a therapist 4) Work can actually be a helpful way to deal with that shit. Get laser focused on work and it helps take some of the edge off. 5) Smoke weed

happyhunter

Politicker

0

spittin' sunshine

Haha!!!! Yes I appreciate your candidness and you're totally right. Using work as a distraction is something I need to do more of. And thankfully I live in California so #5 is too easy ;)

CloudyWithAChanceOfQuota

Politicker

0

Corporate AE

I have found that having a therapist really helps with this! I also try to block out my days by tasks and start each day with a task list that keeps me on track- even if it has something as frivolous as organizing my inbox/updating SF. Sometimes just having a to do list and things to successfully check off of it can help with keeping you focused, and encouraging continued success during your work hours! I hope you feel better soon and are able to work through your personal issues and keep crushing your number!

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