War Room Therapy

What's up Savages... it's just been one of those days. Apologies for the rant post but this community has really kept me going the last few weeks.


I've been chasing this deal for about three months now. We've been at the finish line for probably 5 weeks. It's a small deal, but the first land at one of my target accounts. My guy (title would make you think he's an EB) has told me he can sign multiple times...I got torn apart on our forecast call today so I just went full aggressive mode to get this fucking 5k pilot signed and at 11am I get "I will sign today" .... 5 pm comes around, I'm calling him, re-sent the DocuSign and he tells me "I can't just sign it".... I don't think this is anything new for anyone here. But I just feel dejected.


I'm having essentially the same scenario with a company I've been interviewing with. We had our 2nd interview last week and I get told he's setting up the 3rd interview ASAP, silence for the next 5 days. I call him yesterday and he's apologetic, says he's going to make the intro for the next interview ASAP. Doesn't happen.


I have just lost all trust in people. You can't trust anything anyone says in this business. And the worst part is you can challenge and qualify it all you want, and you still can't trust it.


I'm just looking for advice here, and maybe I just needed to type it out.. how do you guys recover from a bad day? How do you trust what someone tells you? I count my blessings often / am a huge believer in gratitude. But man the path we've all chosen gets you down sometimes.


Thanks for listening, I know this place isn't supposed to be therapy hour. It all works out in the end (I think?)


Also, two very strong IPA's deep.



🎈 Mentorship
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19
Justatitle
Politicker
5
Mid Market AE
I think the beauty of the WR is it is a place to share struggles and get advice. Your career does not define you and you have to prepare to take the good with the bad. You will be rejected 80-90% of the time(much like me trying to get laid now being married) but the sweet sweet taste of victory and winning is worth it. Hammer to rock buddy blaze a trail!!! 
Justatitle
Politicker
1
Mid Market AE
And oh yeah amidst all the rejection you are expected to roll with the punches and never have a reaction as if you are a robot and not human. Well guess what we’re all human and have these exact days. The same water that softens the pasta hardens the egg
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
But seriously I have never understood why someone wouldn’t want to have sex. 

I feel you on this one. Highly recommend “mating in captivity” by Esther Perel. 
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
@Incognito if I wasn’t married with 2 kids and 40 lbs overweight me and you could get busy!!!
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
You cant afford me 💁‍♀️
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
This is a good point. What I lack for for in earnings I make up for in low self esteem… wait what?
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
I read the quick blurb on it and I will read it based on your recommendation. But it raised a question that I never really thought of, is monogamy weird to you. To me it’s a little weird 
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
Yes. It is. 

with the caveat that my primary partner meets my needs first before they go elsewhere. After that I don’t care. In fact, I’d enjoy having a relationship or friendship with their other partners as well. I’m just not a jealous type I suppose. I mean, if people are honest, it’s just a function of body parts. I’d rather they chose to respect me rather than conform to some archaic relationship structure out of a sense of obligation and be unhappy. 
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
Yeah that’s a super interesting way to look at it. Like is going elsewhere to blow some stress off or just have fun with no emotion attached that much of a big deal… guess it’s something worth discussing 
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
Like how is that different from jerking off? 

and I like having emotion attached - that’s okay too. I have emotional connections with friends. That’s not taking away from my primary relationship. So many things give us pleasure - sex is one of them. I honestly think of it like “honey! Pam and I are going to go have ice cream sundaes tonight! Don’t wait up!” 


or something like that. 
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
It’s not different but it’s so much more fun when you’re not doing it alone… I’ve come to the conclusion that we need an east coast war room party like they just did in SF
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
By we I mean the people in the war room living in the east coast
Incognito
WR Officer
0
Master of Disaster
😂😂😂

Yes. But I’m not going just to hook up. 
Justatitle
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
No. I say that because I haven’t networked with other sales professionals in over a year due to the pandemic and would be awesome to have some of the discussions we have in here in person 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
3
Senior Account Executive
Sometimes we need to vent. This is a safe space. You are with your people. 😎
Incognito
WR Officer
2
Master of Disaster
Please refer to my Dear Friday, Fuck You post because I am in the EXACT same place you are! 

can we rename yours WTF Wednesday? 

we are here for you, we’re the sales fam! 

also, if it makes you feel better, I got a verbal offer 3 MONTHS AGO and they’re still stringing me along waiting for the written one. These fucks deserve hemorrhoids AND herpies so it’s painful on ALL the sensitive bits all the time! 🥰
beachNsales
Politicker
2
Sales Manager
let it out sales comrade. We all need to vent. We all have shitty days, a bad call, a deal gone wrong. Imposter syndrome is real and when you have bad days, you get that feeling. Have a drink tonight, or two and then get back on the grind tomorrow because that next deal or job you land is going to one of the best feelings you can have. Best of luck!
goose
Politicker
1
Sales Executive
Hmmm.  Do I say “shit that sucks… get the next one” or do I say “wtf.  Quit complaining and get some work done.  You are better than this.  Way better.”

Not sure yet.  I’ll think about it.  
bareknuckles
Valued Contributor
1
CEO of my kitchen table
Hope you feel better getting that all out brother. Tomorrow is another day. Peace.
mrsexyspizza
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
Thanks brother. That it is.
AnchorPoint
Politicker
1
Business Coach
Sales is easy right?  LOL

Work at getting better every day.  Do a self debrief or one with a peer you trust (get with the top dog in the company if you can) on what you may have done differently.  

Learn and move on.  
nomdeguerre
Valued Contributor
1
VP of Channel Partner Sales
I hate being told this myself, because I know it is true but yet I fall into the trap myself all the time, but here is the thing: never be single threaded into an account!

The decision and ability to sign is never up to just one individual, no matter how small the (initial) deal. So, when someone tells you they can make the decision and sign with nobody else involved, they are not being honest with you - unless it is the CEO/owner - and even then they often run it by someone else.

Also, it is often surprising how high up you have to go to get a signature - even for relatively small amount. It is usually someone in the C-suite or at least an EVP or SVP.

So, when someone says they can sign, don't contradict them but say that is great I'm committed to making sure you have all the things you need to make sure you are making the right decision. Also, who else in your organization might need to be ok with the decision, or who in your organization would you get to put a second set of eyes on this to make sure it is the right solution for the company?

If they tell you who, then suggest that you set up a joint call with them so they get a chance to ask their questions.

If they won't tell you or refuse to introduce you, then you would have to try and guess who the person might be and reach out to them. Your contact might not like it, but you really have no choice since being single threaded is a death sin.

Eventually, someone in your company is going to ask who else in the org you're talking to, and trust me you don't want to have to tell them that you aren't talking to anyone else - especially if you have committed the deal.

I know I'm probably not telling you something you haven't heard before, but I think it warrants reminding.

Best of luck

Peace
mrsexyspizza
Politicker
1
Mid Market AE
Always a great reminder. I went wide on the technical analysis, had about 4 people involved in that. But to your point, I was single threaded on the purchasing side... always a mistake.
sahil
Notable Contributor
1
Deepak Chopra of Sales
Hey @mrsexyspizza - like the can of Morton's salt says: When it rains, it pours.

There are ALWAYS going to be those days where everything goes wrong. Deals fall apart. Interviews go awry. You burn dinner and your baby wakes up 5 times in the middle of night (wait...now I'm getting too personal).

There's 2 things I try to remember in moments like these:

1. Think about 2 specific times where you got lucky. 

Let's say you were praying some last minute deal came in to hit quota, and by the miracle of the Gods... they ACTUALLY signed!! Or maybe you through you really blew it on a call, but then they turn around and offer you the job anyway! 

We tend to take for granted the times where we get lucky, and emphasize those moments where we get unlucky. Reverse that. Remember those moments where you should have been caught, but didn't. Appreciate them. You'll feel better, instantly.

2. Move on. 

Write both of these off. Assume that deal is dead. Assume that job is not gonna happen. Okay, now what? What are you gonna do next? Focus on that. If either of these comes back, which they probably won't TBH, then that's a bonus. But make your own destiny. You cannot control what happened yesterday. Only you can control what happens tomorrow.

May the odds be ever in your favor.
mrsexyspizza
Politicker
0
Mid Market AE
Thanks for the heartfelt response Sahil... agreed that writing both of these off is the best way to move forward. I felt relieved Closing Lost this morning.
Adored
Executive
1
Sales Director
Keep believing in people, keep believing in gratitude, keep looking for that positivity. Because that is probably what makes you good at sales and will draw people towards you.

The only modifier is, digest this experience and build it into your instincts. Next time you're in this position, you'll know to take yesmen prospects and what they say with a huge pinch of salt. Keep qualifying and gently calling out inconsistencies in what they're saying.

If the relationship is good you can even tell them - straight up, you know what my job is and you can probably guess how my performance is measured. I want to help you solve this problem and make your life easier, I believe in our partnership but I just need a sense as to why this isn't happening yet and whether or not that is something I can help you with?

Recovering from a bad day - exercise, cook a nice meal, talk to a friend, play video games, walk your dog, take a bath - do anything that helps you relax and can help grant you the perspective that there's more to life than the grind (even if it is important and we love it).

Keep fighting the good fight. You'll get there.
CCP
Opinionated
0
VP, Business Development
The problem here is you faith in humanity. I lost mine long ago and am way happier for it. I assume everyone is useless, then when someone isn't a complete waste of space, I'm pleasantly surprised! Sounds ultra cynical, I know, but I'm way less disappointed in people with this mindset. 
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