Some of my favorites:
Our entire sales team was above quota last year (the few we didn't let go)
Our top rep made almost half a million dollars (like 1 time, 3 years ago)
We don't hire leadership externally (before they hire your new boss externally and dont promote you or your team members)
We have 80% inbound leads, 20% will be "hunting" (if you're lucky, its 20% inbound)
This was a new one:
You'll be reporting directly to me (after he had already taken a promotion). Ended up starting a job in a new industry with 0 leadership support :D!