Woody

Business Development Executive

Politicker

Valued Contributor

Opinionated

What obnoxious, nonsensical Linkedin headline do you use to covey the sophistication of your role in the workplace? Or What are the most ridiculous Linkedin headlines you've seen other people use?

If we get enough and this is popular perhaps we could vote on a grand champion.

😂 Sales Humor

29 comments

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CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Anything with ninja, guru, or coach makes my skin crawl.

mikewagner

Cofounder/Sales Lead

Add Maven and Wizard to this list.

SahaFresh

VP of Sales

🤮

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Y'all are tew much 🤣😆

SahaFresh

VP of Sales

Actually the worst ever IMO is “Whisperer” - Big time 🤢🤮

Chep

WR Officer

Bitcoin Adoption Specialist

HIGH LEVEL CONVERSATION HAVER

SaaSsy

Politicker

Anything that isn't a real title! Just write that you're a Sales rep or AE

TheLoneGun

Opinionated

Extremely Rad Product Offloading Specialist

"Innovative Visionary"... Shouldn't a visionary by definition be innovative?

Marketingpet

Politicker

Partner Manager

“Navy seal of tech”. Ridiculous

Woody

Politicker

Business Development Executive

Anytime you have to say your the something of something you're not really the anything of anything.

UserNotFound

Politicker

Account Executive

*chefs kiss*

TheRealPezDog

Notable Contributor

Account Manager

Holy fuckin underrated comment batman! MY MAN WOODY OUT HERE KILLING IT!

TheRealPezDog

Notable Contributor

Account Manager

Can I steal this for my LI profile heading?

Aries

WR Officer

Fractional VP Sales

"Like Batman but for Sales and Marketing"

SahaFresh

VP of Sales

It’s also hilarious when someone lists our all their certs: Mohammed Ali, CHIS, CIS, CFA, CPA, STFUUUUUUUUU pls

Woody

Politicker

Business Development Executive

Yes ! enough with the bogus certifications. I'm a certified organic emotional intelligence based sales consulting web shaman. You better believe I have my COEISCWS. I understand that my online certification exam score was in the top quartile as well.

Hotlead

Politicker

Producer

Honestly extremely rad product offloading specialist is pretty up there VVVVVV

pitchandputt

Executive

Account Executive

Not a most ridiculous but something that makes my eyes glaze over - "I help X do Y" was neat when it started but I think it's too prevalent now.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Mine is my title with I help x do y. What's the latest headline advice?

pitchandputt

Executive

Account Executive

IMO you should be original. It's not that there's anything inherently wrong with "I help X do Y" - it's just that it's so overdone.

CuriousFox

WR Officer

🦊

Yeah I'm pretty bored with it too.

RedLightning

Politicker

Mid-Market AE

It cracks me up when people write their bio's in third person

wahmsales

WR Officer

SDR

Partnerships Ninja

ZeroGrit

Valued Contributor

VP of Hoping My Emails Find You Well

Whenever I see the "2x pReziDentS Club" or anything like that... I'm all for being proud of accomplishments but in your headline? Calm down... more often than not they happened YEARS ago. Let it go honey.

mrjve

Member

Account Executive

"I can sell ice to Eskimos" - I've seen it a couple of times.

UserNotFound

Politicker

Account Executive

"Insert cool, catchy headline"

This is also an eyeroll for me...

Balloons4baboons

Opinionated

Account Executive

I'm pretty vanilla and just put ae or sales. Some that I've seen that trigger an eye roll are "sales rockstar", "industry disruptor", "serial entrepreneur" (tell me you can't hold a job without telling me you can't hold a job). Also a strong contender is anyone who includes blockchain investing or forex in their title.

Stringer

Arsonist

SDR

"Relationship Builder" kills it for me. Congrats, you can talk to other humans...

RedLightning

Politicker

Mid-Market AE

Pipeline aficionado

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