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What obnoxious, nonsensical Linkedin headline do you use to covey the sophistication of your role in the workplace? Or What are the most ridiculous Linkedin headlines you've seen other people use?

If we get enough and this is popular perhaps we could vote on a grand champion.

๐Ÿ˜‚ Sales Humor
15
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Needer of Life Alert
Anything with ninja, guru, or coach makes my skin crawl.
mikewagner
Cofounder/Sales Lead
Add Maven and Wizard to this list.
SahaFresh
VP of Sales
๐Ÿคฎ
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Needer of Life Alert
Y'all are tew much ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿ˜†
SahaFresh
VP of Sales
Actually the worst ever IMO is โ€œWhispererโ€ - Big time ๐Ÿคข๐Ÿคฎ
Chep
WR Officer
+10
Business Development Team Lead
HIGH LEVEL CONVERSATION HAVER
TheLoneGun
Good Citizen
Extremely Rad Product Offloading Specialist
"Innovative Visionary"... Shouldn't a visionary by definition be innovative?ย 
Marketingpet
Opinionated
+1
Partner Manager
โ€œNavy seal of techโ€. Ridiculousย 
Wo
Woody
Opinionated
+3
Business Development Executive
Anytime you have to say your the something of something you're not really the anything of anything.ย 

MrsTechSales
Politicker
+9
Midwest Market Manager
*chefs kiss*
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Aries
WR Officer
+3
Fractional VP Sales
"Like Batman but for Sales and Marketing"ย ย 
pitchandputt
Valued Contributor
+4
Account Executive
Not a most ridiculous but something that makes my eyes glaze over - "I help X do Y" was neat when it started but I think it's too prevalent now.
CuriousFox
WR Officer
+11
Needer of Life Alert
Mine is my title with I help x do y. What's the latest headline advice?
pitchandputt
Valued Contributor
+4
Account Executive
IMO you should be original. It's not that there's anything inherently wrong with "I help X do Y" - it's just that it's so overdone.
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SahaFresh
VP of Sales
Itโ€™s also hilarious when someone lists our all their certs: Mohammed Ali, CHIS, CIS, CFA, CPA, STFUUUUUUUUU pls
Wo
Woody
Opinionated
+3
Business Development Executive
Yes ! enough with the bogus certifications.ย  I'm a certified organic emotional intelligence based sales consulting web shaman.ย  You better believe I have my COEISCWS.ย  I understand that my online certification exam score was in the top quartile as well.
mrjve
Good Citizen
Account Executive
"I can sell ice to Eskimos" - I've seen it a couple of times.ย 
Hotlead
Politicker
+6
SDR
Honestly extremely rad product offloading specialist is pretty up thereย  ย  ย VVVVVV
MrsTechSales
Politicker
+9
Midwest Market Manager
"Insert cool, catchy headline"ย 

This is also an eyeroll for me...ย 
Re
RedLightning
Politicker
+7
Mid-Market AE
It cracks me up when people write their bio's in third person
SaaSsy
Politicker
+2
Sales Executive
Anything that isn't a real title! Just write that you're a Sales rep or AE
Balloons4baboons
Good Citizen
+1
Account Executive
I'm pretty vanilla and just put ae or sales. Some that I've seen that trigger an eye roll are "sales rockstar", "industry disruptor", "serial entrepreneur" (tell me you can't hold a job without telling me you can't hold a job). Also a strong contender is anyone who includes blockchain investing or forex in their title.
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