The War Room
Question
Post

What's the funniest/angriest/best response you've gotten from a cold email?

Share anything and everything. The more absurd the better

πŸ”Ž Prospecting
πŸ’Œ Cold Emailing
5
BigCheese
Notorious Answer
+14
Agency Recruiter | Coors Knight
"It is refreshing to receive a spam email that is not about erectile dysfunction pills. Nonetheless, please take me off of your list."
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
up in Fiji, under paddy
"How did you get my email?? Based on your response, I will then decide if I want to talk to you or not."

I found it in under one minute on Google. Pleb.
SteveMadden
Opinionated
+4
Sales Exec
"tell your marketing team their drips suck. unsubscribe"
poweredbycaffeine
WR Officer
+9
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
"I wanted to believe this wasn't a robot. You were thiiiiis close. Please remove me."
Coffeesforclosers
Notable Contributor
+11
Director Sales and Market Development
It was a teenage mutant turtles meme that said "Real recognize real" as i had sent an email with subject line Hello?????? and the body of the email was a lionel ritchie meme saying is it ERP you are looking for.Β 
Coffeesforclosers
Notable Contributor
+11
Director Sales and Market Development
ps i sell ERP
Sailor
Senior Director of Business Development
Email said thoughts?
response β€œthanks for asking. None.”
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
+9
Account Manager
Hilarious, this guy is someone I called 18 times over the course of 1.5 years and he goes OFF on me (edited to protect our identities): Jokes on this motherfucker because I went around him and put a contract in place anyway... whoops... love to see it....Β 

"Real PezDog,Β 
I wish I could share my phone logs with you on the number of times your organization has contacted me. I have no interest at this time on working with you or your organization and no need for contract staff at this time. If and when I do need contract staff, I work through the partners that our recruiters recommend and at that point you would know if I have any needs. The disrespectful move of sending me a meeting invite suggests two things. ONE that your time is more important than whatever I have on my calendar at that time and TWO, that I would agree to attend a meeting that I have not agreed to with a total stranger - Has further confirmed that I have zero desire to work with your or your organization now or anytime in the near future. If you or your organization ever have a desire to work with me, you can start by taking me off of your call lists."
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
+9
Account Manager
and in case you were wondering, here was my response:

Name,Β 

I appreciate your honesty. I have reached out to you 14 times in total since 04/30/2018. There should not be any other communication from anyone else at MY COMPANY as this account is managed by me alone. I am truly sorry about the calendar request, I did not mean to make it seem like your time and schedule is not important to me, it is. Rather I wanted to offer a proposal to have an informal discussion (instead of a cold call), I see now this approach was not a good one and I can assure you it won’t happen again. At the end of the day my company pays me to be a business developer, as I’m sure YOUR COMPANY has similar Account Managers doing similar sales tactics to develop accounts of theirs. I will note in my CRM that you do not want to be contacted (which should shield you for the future in case I am no longer here) and I will stop calling you myself.

I sincerely hope for a future opportunity to prove I can be valuable to you and your team, yet I understand if that opportunity does not come. Feel free to reach out to me any time and by any means.

All The Best,
10
Best cold email openers
Question
14
42
What’s the funniest response you’ve gotten when cold prospecting?
Question
54
14
Worst Cold Email you've gotten....or sent?
Discussion
30