R
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RogerSterlingJr

Strategic Account Specialist

Catalyst
Valued Contributor
Contributor
+2

What’s the funniest response you’ve gotten when cold prospecting?

Just to kick it off, I sent a cold email as a part of a marketing campaign. Not much personalization but the first name and dynamic field were correct. 

Here's what I got back:
"Wrong person. Whoever sold you my email or scraped it for you scammed you. Demand a refund. You’re so much with the wrong person it’s embarrassing for your organization."

Had a good laugh at this one
🔎 Prospecting
😂 Sales Humor
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54 comments

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CuriousFox
WR Officer
14
🦊
I cold prospected in person once and was told, "Don't make me get the hose." Does this count?
cavanova
Opinionated
2
AE selling Construction Software
cos your pitch was straight fire 🔥?
CuriousFox
WR Officer
2
🦊
I see what you did there, and I like it.
CoorsKing
WR Officer
13
Retired King of the Coors Knights
“Ah good, thanks for responding” (had sent a request for contact form with suspiciously specific details) “sooo I actually fucking hate it here and was looking into jobs at your company and was hoping you could give me some info”
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
4
SaaS Eater
Ive absolutely had this one a few times, always makes me chuckle. 

Idk if this is funny or just fucking awesome but I once sent and email that must have hit pretty well because the DM just responded with a picture of his credit card. Felt great. 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
4
SaaS Eater
SMB BABYYY! 
cavanova
Opinionated
0
AE selling Construction Software
legendary
SaaSam
Politicker
11
Account Executive
At a previous company right at the start of the pandemic our marketing team sent out an email blast to a big list of leads regarding the expected hit to the economy and how our solution would essentially make them more accessible to potential clients since their service offered folks economic relief. 

Basically it said, "hey dude, you know how you help people seeking financial relief? Well that demand is about to sky rocket and we can help make you more accessible and visible to potential clients than your competition."

He was super pissed, chewed me out, accused me of disaster profiteering or some shit. Said he was going to call my CEO and get me fired.

He did. No idea how he got his number but he did. I got a phone call from my CEO about an hour later asking me about the situation. Apparently he told the guy, "My name is SaaSam's CEO, and I approve this message"

He was a cool CEO
TheOverTaker
Politicker
7
Senior Account Executive
"where did you get my email?!"
*email listed on website*
"THIS IS ILLEGAL HARRASMENT" 
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
2
SaaS Eater
This one is a classic. I was feeling really petty one time and just sent a screenshot of their website. 
TheOverTaker
Politicker
1
Senior Account Executive
I told this gem that I found it on the wesbite...
drfsrich
0
Sr. Manager, Sales Ops
"Bathroom wall."
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
5
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
Once cold-called someone who I thought was a senior dude who fit our ICP. 

'Hey is this X' 
'Uhh yes' 
'Pattern interrupt from me' 
'Uhh who do you think I am' 
'Lists role, company, why he should care.' 
'Uhh sorry about this but I actually work in IT and i've never worked at that company' 

Even if he just made it up I can't be mad. He sounded genuinely bemused. 
RogerSterlingJr
Catalyst
2
Strategic Account Specialist
That’s better than no answer at all lol. It reminds me of one time calling the head of IT but getting redirected to the operator. I tell her who I’m trying to reach and somehow end up at the IT help desk
InQ5WeTrust
Arsonist
1
No marketing, mayo isn't an MQL
Haha, that sounds eventful. 
someoneinsales
Tycoon
5
Director of Sales
Response from cold email: I think it was the 6th email I sent.

"I wouldn't schedule time with you if my life depended on it."

That person left the company and his replacement ended up buying the solution 6 months later. 
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
0
Account Manager
This is ‘The Book of Sales’ in 1 paragraph
someoneinsales
Tycoon
1
Director of Sales
Who is the author? ;)
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
1
Account Manager
Apparently you are, because you summed up sales in a nutshell: A person saying no might not be there in 6 months and shouldn't deter you from breaking into that account a different way or through the next person to hold their job. 
someoneinsales
Tycoon
1
Director of Sales
Should I write the worlds shortest sales book and list it on amazon? 

*adding best selling author to linkedin* 
ilovemondays
Executive
0
Senior Account Executive
Do it.
The_Sales_Badger
Notorious Answer
5
Account Executive
"Dude, we're about to go out of business - There ain't no software that's gonna make my father-in-law, not an idiot.  Good luck"
BmajoR
Arsonist
4
Account Executive
I don't have anything to add at the moment, but thank you so much for giving an example with a post like this. Drives me crazy to see them and then have no reference or lead. 
Incognito
WR Officer
4
Master of Disaster
Sent a generic intro email from a shit lead my former firm gave me. Not only was he happy I contacted him, but became my favorite grumpy mechanical contractor. Proceeds to tell me everything he hates about people (especially his wife), but clearly states, “ARE YOU TAKING NOTES? YOU BETTER BE TAKING NOTES!” Asks me to lunch, but only at a shitty diner and if I want to bring anyone with me, they must submit their resume to him prior to attending for his approval. I ask him who I should look for when I meet him at the diner, he says “a Chinese Brad Pitt”.

Dude is retired, 75 and spits when he talks. 

Helped with checking shitty metric boxes when I needed it, though 
Gyro25
Notorious Answer
3
Account Executive
"Bruh, we don't do do any events, please stop emailing me" - I lold at that one when the person replied. 
CuriousFox
WR Officer
2
🦊
Bruh 😆
TechSalesQueen
Executive
3
Sr. Enterprise Account Executive
Cold emailed a guy last month and got this reply: REPLY 1: Thank you for your email but I think you have sent to the wrong Richard ***** , as I am Stationed in Chelmsford UK. I have included the other Rich ***** in this reply as I believe he is your man! REPLY 2: It’s not me either. There are about 11 with the same name. I don’t know which one it could be MY REPLY: I appreciate you both letting me know! I will admit, 11 Richard *****’s is a first for me. Have a wonderful rest of both of your days. I will make sure to note on my end that neither of you is the right Richard ***** and continue my pursuits amongst the final 9! 😂😂😂😂  
RogerSterlingJr
Catalyst
2
Strategic Account Specialist
Another time a mobile number from ZoomInfo took me to a sex hotline(?)
hh456
Celebrated Contributor
5
sales
what is it? for research purposes.
CoorsKing
WR Officer
3
Retired King of the Coors Knights
Its Jake from State Farm
DungeonsNDemos
Big Shot
2
Rolling 20's all day
I like when someone is an inbound lead and asked to be contacted, and then when you call or email them they act like they have no idea who your company is. And then they are offended that you are trying to "sell them something".
For cold prospecting, it would probably be whenever someone just replies back "fuck you". only been a few times but always makes me laugh. I promise I'm not spamming random people.
goose
Politicker
2
Sales Executive
When you let technology do your job for you then you are bound to get embarrassed.
LordBusiness
Politicker
2
Chief Revenue Officer
“What you've just said is one of the most insanely idiotic things I have ever heard. At no point in your rambling, incoherent response were you even close to anything that could be considered a rational thought. Everyone in this room is now dumber for having listened to it. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul."
torontowarroomrep
Politicker
1
Account Executive
We had a company wide week off for mental health and one guy left me a voicemail after calling 5 times, despite my email auto responder, saying "I don't care about mental health, I need my account to be refunded." emailed him back saying "email our billing department" 
Kinonez
Celebrated Contributor
1
War Room Enthusiast
“This again” I pictured the guy facepalming himself after reading my email for some reason and couldn’t stop laughing. 
TheDarkKnight
Politicker
1
Falconry Enthusiast
"Get a real job." Weird response since I checked her linkedin profile and she had previously spent 16 years in my role before being promoted a month earlier.
JECU
Opinionated
1
Account Manager / Co-Founder
Please tell me you went fully petty mode and screenshot the LinkedIn and sent it over and asked for advice since they had experience.
TheDarkKnight
Politicker
1
Falconry Enthusiast
Don't worry, I back-doored her and closed a project with that company lol
countingmyinterest
Politicker
1
Account Executive
Was selling GDPR software at the time and cold emailing. One of my sequences may have pissed him off cause he responded 

"Go away you irritating muppet". Top 3 rejections of my career, had a great fucking laugh. 
Jbeans
Opinionated
1
Director of Sales
“Fuck off with yourself, ok?”  I said is that a question or a statement? 🤔*click* 
MikeHawk
Executive
1
Sales Development Representative
I had a guy move his mouth away from the phone and say “ahh no there’s a fire what are we going to do!” Then hung up
signedsealed7
Member
1
Senior Account Executive
"No problem I'm free to chat tomorrow afternoon. My rate is $300 p/h"
Diablo
Politicker
0
Sr. AE
"I no longer work in this company." 😂
TheRealPezDog
Notable Contributor
0
Account Manager
“If you ever want to do business with me in the future (and that’s a big IF) you can start by taking my name off your list.” Like, No bruh, doesn’t work like that
curd
Opinionated
0
AD
1. Threatened to stab my mom in the neck with a rake 2. Was walked through performing a telephone sex act 3. Threatened with choking until I blacked out All funnier than they sound I swear.
GrindingSales
Politicker
0
Account Executive
Good one! Some people use sales people to project all of their baggage. 

Mine was a customer right down the street that was listed in our area directory.  She was so dramatic about asking how I knew her name and got their number, she threatened to call the cops if we ever call her again.  Cue the eye roll. 
bamageorge
Celebrated Contributor
0
International Sales Director
''Get a life, you leach'' 
IYNFYL
Politicker
0
Enterprise SaaS AE
“That person passed away three months ago”….no lie and I definitely apologized then did my pitch to the lady who actually responded
DamianLillard
Member
0
Enterprise AE - field
C-level responded within 30 seconds to thank me for not being a financial advisor
Sniper
Valued Contributor
0
Enterprise Account Executive
“Listen, you sound like a great sales rep but my master bathroom is now my office, I can’t stand my wife, and I just found out my kids are going to be home schooled for another year.”

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