"Mr. Prospect, this is Special agent Paddy, FBI. I've been trying to reach your landline but I'm experiencing heavy turbulence. Meet at rally point Sierra Whiskey in 0400 for further instructions. Do not respond to this message and destroy this phone immediately."
Female teammate of mine, late 40's, funniest person I'd ever listen to on calls. One time was pitching a DM, he goes "Wait you want me to spend money?" and her response, no hesitation, is "Isn't it just like a woman to ask you for your credit card?" and just laughs, then tells him let's actually get him more biz yadda yadda yadda. I had to stifle my laughter so hard.