Off topic, but seasonal.
I'll go first:
Grandma threw the Butterball in the oven, but her old age kicked in, and she forgot to set the timer.
5 hours later the fire alarms are going off, the bird is in flames, and the oven is busted. The fire department showed up, and was kind enough to dispose of the crisp turkey. We think this helped to minimize everyone's PTSD. Although Uncle Jerry really wanted to save it and put it on his wall, like some fucking deer he had shot.
Ended up with $300-worth of KFC that evening, and a grandma who still refuses to cook on Thanksgiving to this day.
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