R
R

RedLightning

Mid-Market AE

Politicker
Catalyst
Valued Contributor
+6

What would be your anti-dream team?

Let's say you had to assemble a team from non sales departments to fuck up an otherwise easily winnable deal. How would you do it? For the sake of this, these are the roles you would need to fill.


1 person running the show/closing

1 person as he product/demo expert

1 person to handle scheduling everything



🐱 Off-Topic
😂 Sales Humor
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23 comments

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poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
8
☕️
1) Gary V
2) Todd Packer
3) That old lady that works at the grocery store and bags your stuff at the speed of smell.
SaaSam
Politicker
3
Account Executive
Are we just going to ignore the fact that the best pick in this anti dream team is Todd Packer? 
RedLightning
Politicker
2
Mid-Market AE
Packer is a closer, but I couldn't see him demo well. Also, I think there would be some personality clashes
SaaSam
Politicker
1
Account Executive
I would love to see Gary V attempt a motivational speech with Packer in the same room
Do.it.for.the.checks
Politicker
1
Account Executive
We need super up vote this is it. Also I'm so glad other people hate Gary V. That dude is the worst
RedLightning
Politicker
0
Mid-Market AE
The bagger at my grocery store go on breaks when people are about to check out, so they would for sure not schedule the next call
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
We dont have baggers at our grocery stores so none chance next steps gets scheduled
RedLightning
Politicker
1
Mid-Market AE
I went a legitimate 18 months where they would see me putting my groceries up then leave and then i'd bag everything myself

UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
0
SaaS Eater
Power move on their part, honestly kinda respect it
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
5
SaaS Eater
There are about a million answers here and you can just pick anyone not in sales, BUT here is my squad:

Point Guard/Closer= engineer. So socially inept, stuck behind a computer, and doesn't know how to ask a single interesting question.

Product expert - HR, they know how to make every system that should be simple as complex as possible

Scheduling - a product manager, nothing ever comes out on time so seems like a surefire way to fuck this piece up.

No way a deal closes with this motley crew

Honorable mention: the deal desk running the whole thing, they seem to turn away every deal I bring them anyway so lets just go straight to the source. 
RedLightning
Politicker
1
Mid-Market AE
Haha that's such a brutally accurate description of HR. i had them running the show because they have 0 sense of urgency and in my experience have rarely been proactive
paddy
WR Officer
5
Director of Business Development
Dan Price running the show/closing
Gary V. as the product/demo expert
Brandon from Seamless.ai scheduling everything
RedLightning
Politicker
2
Mid-Market AE
At first, I thought "I could see these people winning a deal." But after thinking about it for a bit, I think Dan would not let the prospect talk and would continuously talk about how much he pays his employees. This would then fuel into Gary V into some kind of motivational speech and then seque into the differences between a "boss" and a "leader"

Brandon on the other hand I think would be great at scheduling everything (especially considering the theory). However, it would turn into an endless feedback loop of him scheduling meeting that would be derailed by Dan and Gary's feedback loop. 

Not only would this deal never be closed won, but it would never be closed lost. You've created an endless sales cycle, you diabolical bastard! @paddy 
paddy
WR Officer
3
Director of Business Development
I'm glad you see the hierarchy of how I deliberately ordered that.
UrAssIsSaaS
Arsonist
1
SaaS Eater
This is genius
Hotlead
Politicker
3
Producer
1. Garth Brooks
2. Garth Brooks
3. Garth Brooks
CuriousFox
WR Officer
1
🦊
What the hell? 🤣🤣🤣
RedLightning
Politicker
0
Mid-Market AE
Are these 3 clones of Garth Brooks?
hh456
Celebrated Contributor
2
sales
1) Al Sharpton 2) Gary Busey 3) Lindsey Lohan
RedLightning
Politicker
1
Mid-Market AE
For me:

1) mid level HR person in a non recruiting role
2) brand marketing - I think they would know the product but would never ask a question and hilariously feature dump
3) tech/engineering 
Do.it.for.the.checks
Politicker
1
Account Executive
1) My delivery team. Legit try to stop sales because they are tasked with lowering churn. No shit 0 customers = 0 churn

2) Dev. Bold choice but knowing the product isn't the same as demo

3)Any calendar app
cw95
Politicker
1
Sales Development Lead
I was going to comment but since Ronaldo joined united I can’t think of anything other than a good team.
LordBusiness
Politicker
0
Chief Revenue Officer
Closer Point Person - HR/Legal 
Product Demo Person - HR/Legal 
Scheduler - HR/Legal 

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