Who pays for the bachelor party?

How should bachelor party financials be setup? I got invited to a destination bachelor party that is going to be pretty expensive. Is the party expected to cover the groom totally? Groom's cost plus ours is going to be a lot. I don't think we should be expected to come totally out of pocket. If this was a local thing that was costing a fraction, sure i'll play ball but this is different.

  • Destination bachelor party.
  • Group is not tight nit at all.
  • Financials are varying but most are in the same bracket. Everyone seems to be doing well financially but we are not a group of high rollers by any means.
*edited Poll, sorry!๐Ÿฅฒ

How should cost be split?

Attached poll
*Voting in this poll no longer yields commission.
๐Ÿฑ Off-Topic
๐Ÿ„ Personal Life
โœˆ๏ธ Travel
12
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
8
โ˜•๏ธ
When I went on my trip, and my friends went on theirs, we paid for the bachelor. The one time we didnโ€™t pay for the flight is because they had the points from work travel and saved us a cool G.
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
8
ERP Sales
Outside of flight, which is 50/50...groom shouldnt touch a thing
braintank
Politicker
6
Enterprise Account Executive
For big ones I've went to we covered cost for the groom.
fidelcashflow
Catalyst
4
Account Executive
You went outta pocket 2 G's?
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
4
โ˜•๏ธ
Stop planning trips to exotic places ๐Ÿ˜‚ get a dope penthouse on Airbnb in a central and cool city and have a dope time.
fidelcashflow
Catalyst
3
Account Executive
that sounds lame tbh. no one wants to go to denver or scottsdale.
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
5
ERP Sales
Montreal is where I went, pretty sick

Get the garรงons together
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
3
โ˜•๏ธ
Portland Maine was dope for mine
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
3
โ˜•๏ธ
Then go to Nashville. Or Austin. Or Vegas. Or NYC. Or Savannah. Central as in easy for all to get to with major airports.
braintank
Politicker
4
Enterprise Account Executive
I ended up paying about $1500 for 4 days in Vegas.
Revenue_Rambo
Politicker
5
Bad MFer
My friends were all east coast. I live on left coast. Since they were all traveling cross country for the wedding I did my bachelor party on the east coast and paid my way.
Sunbunny31
Arsonist
4
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Typically the groom doesnโ€™t pay for anything.

But who planned this trip? And who agreed to it?

Honestly, I thought brides were out of control, but here comes the groom, making sure itโ€™s equal opportunity ridiculousness.

Donโ€™t tell me itโ€™s also a destination wedding with additional ridiculous cost.
Sunbunny31
Arsonist
3
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Forgot to add that not going is an option.
oldcloser
Arsonist
2
๐Ÿ’€
Yep. Been there at different points. Sometimes you just canโ€™t do it. No shame in that. Iโ€™m curious where the expectations come from. Thereโ€™s no rule or tradition on this. Id heโ€™s got 2 billionaire friends that started this, let them pay. Otherwise, there has to be some kind of consensus. Someoneโ€™s gonna spend more than they want- the way this is going. Sounds like you gotta make the call based on your resources.

โ€œHey, I can go. I can cover myself, but between this and the wedding, I just canโ€™t do all of it. Chop up grooms cost between yourselves if you can swing it. If my not participating in his trip is breaking your bank, you canโ€™t afford it either.โ€

I could deal with that logic if I were on the planning committee.
fidelcashflow
Catalyst
2
Account Executive
read the post, it is destination. groom is basically making the choice. its not ridiculous if everyone covers their way but adding an extra $200 is asking a lot, especially since no one is super close. most people have not even met each other.
Sunbunny31
Arsonist
4
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Youโ€™re complaining though? So yes, I read destination. And indulging groom becomes a choice you have to make - and you did not mention that the groom had decided on the location himself.

I think catering to someoneโ€™s whim when, as you said, youโ€™re not a tight knit group, is an interesting way to drop a bunch of cash. Either youโ€™re up for it, or youโ€™re not. You decide itโ€™s cool and you cough up the cash, or you decide you have better things to spend your $$ on, and donโ€™t.

Sounds like you do want to go, but are questioning whether you guys should cover the groom when it was his idea to go to such a pricy destination in the first place. And thatโ€™s a valid question that only you guys can answer. Honestly, Iโ€™d pass, but thatโ€™s because I need to go yell at someone to get off my lawn and shake my fist at the sky and kids these days and their inflated expectations for loosely affiliated friends to make what should be a fun event into something extra. ๐Ÿ˜œ
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
1
ERP Sales
Are the people going are not close with other people going, like its a high school friend, college friend, post grad friend. Its just mixing friend groups? This is the groom trying to have the 1 time in their life all of the best friends not matter the friend group in the same room.
Or are you saying the group is not close with the groom?
1st option is super common and that 70% of wedding parties. 2nd option is sad so I would pay the extra money
Either way, adding $200 to cover the groom in the grand scheme of things is not much. Think how much this person is spending on you as well for the wedding. The venue, food, drinks, decorations. Shit is not cheap
fidelcashflow
Catalyst
1
Account Executive
somewhat complaining yeah. I guess i'm just complaining at the notion of going somewhere expensive, no one in the party is tight (not just the party with the party but no one in the party is that close to the groom), and the groom's expectation of everything being paid for. I would have appreciate the forthcomingness of "hey we are going somewhere exotic, I'm going to cover my XXX, etc." even if its just the flight or something.

also, this is for everyone else too. I'm not thinking about myself but rather the entire group. I make at least $100k more than everyone, I don't care about an extra few hundred.

fidelcashflow
Catalyst
1
Account Executive
people are not close with other people and they are also not close to the groom in general. a few people are close to each other.

Totally get your point. But it is also expensive for everyone else. people in the party are dropping $2k for the bachelor party and then the travel far away for for the wedding, $300 for the hotel, etc. your point is valid though
Kosta_Konfucius
Politicker
0
ERP Sales
Where are you going?
medhardwaredr
Politicker
4
Director of Sales NA
Groom does not pay for anything. Official practice
jefe
Arsonist
3
๐Ÿ
I've usually seen flight/hotel covered by groom if it's far away, other things covered. Cottages/local spots that are rented? 100% covered by party.
fidelcashflow
Catalyst
1
Account Executive
Valid.
Justatitle
Big Shot
2
Account Executive
This isn't one size fits all. But Groom pays for transport. Party pays for accommodations and extracurricular activities.
Sunbunny31
Arsonist
2
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
I gotta know where this destination is now. Iโ€™m intrigued. No, I wonโ€™t crash it.
oldcloser
Arsonist
2
๐Ÿ’€
Crash it? You comin out da cake!
Sunbunny31
Arsonist
1
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
๐ŸŽ‚
MRK47
Tycoon
2
Head of Growth
Can we add an option to pay a contribution fee just so I donโ€™t have to go.Yes Iโ€™m old and yes Iโ€™m anti-people. If Iโ€™m going to drop a G or 2, itโ€™s going to be on something I really want to do and with the few people I actually like :)
Gasty
Notable Contributor
0
War Room Community Manager
Groom doesn't pay but depends, maybe he can pay for his travel!


Seems like you're not that interested. Don't go maybe?


Sunbunny31
Arsonist
0
Sr Sales Executive ๐Ÿฐ
Yeah. So this guy is using (or trying to use) all of you acquaintances to fund a fancy vacation he otherwise would have to pay for himself.

Yuck.
FeelItInMyPlums
Executive
0
Sales Account Executive
Great question! I personally would cover my share of the groom's budget, but if I were the groom I wouldn't let my friends pay for my trip.
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