Why You Should Be Tipping Your CEO with Money - A Response to Dan Price

I keep seeing posts about CEO's discussing why "they work for their employees and need to keep them happy." I'm here to tell you that's a bunch of malarkey. You want to get ahead and climb the corporate ladder the correct way? Tip your CEO some money.


It’s 2021 people. Baked good are no longer considered a good gift. Everyone, yes even the CEO, would prefer cash.


They are the CEO. The company leader. Much like a car, they constantly need to be refueled with cash to support their opulent lifestyles and questionable habits. The minute they can’t enjoy themselves, the company ceases to function.


Think of it this way: you win a big hand at the casino. Are you going to leave your dealer out to dry? Of course not, you slide them a couple big ones for putting you in a position to succeed. Same goes for your weekly paycheck.


It fosters healthy workplace competition while simultaneously incentivizing harder work. White IT and HR seldom cross paths, Deborah and Rajesh will now be competing to see who brings in the larger bills. Rajesh sees Debbie slip out an Andrew Jackson, Rajesh reacts by pulling out a Benjamin Harrison (those are $20 and $50 bills for those of you who are too poor to carry them around). Rajesh and Debbie are now at odds to work extra hours to make up for their personal budget they exceeded this month. Do you see I’m doing here?


CEO’s are people too. They get hungry. They run out of gas. They lean on bail bonds for false accusations under strange circumstances. Wouldn’t it be nice if they were stuck in a jib and the only thing that could save them was that crisp Harrison you offered them at the polo club?


Residual income is crucial to a CEO. While they typically earn profits from company equity, they are prone to heavy fluctuation based on company aka YOUR performance. Would really be a shame if he had to throw Hector from finance under the bus at the next shareholders meeting because Vlad from accounting gave a more generous tip at the company Christmas party.


-paddy


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16
BmajoR
Arsonist
8
Account Executive
I always tip my CEO, because lord knows my job performance isn't adequate. That's why I come here for guidance.
paddy
WR Officer
7
Director of Business Development
You get it
CuriousFox
WR Officer
5
🦊
Job security right there. 💯
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
7
☕️
Tip your favorite Bean Boi while you're at it. I don't do this for my health, I do it for your prosperity.
paddy
WR Officer
7
Director of Business Development
I'm just tipping everyone these days. I give out more in tips than I make but I know one day it'll all come around
poweredbycaffeine
WR Lieutenant
7
☕️
"You see, the thing is, if you tip big, life tips you back. You have to tip to get tipped, but no one wants to do the hard work. That's my Gary Tip of the day." -- GaryV
funcoupons
WR Officer
7
👑
I'd rather u give me the tip but okkkkk I guess this is good advice.
Upper_Class_SaaS
Politicker
2
Account Executive
✍🏼 tip ✍🏼 the ✍🏼 CEO✍🏼
Diablo
Politicker
1
Sr. AE
Money is honey for everyone
Rallier
Politicker
1
SDR Manager and Consultant
Dan Price lives in paddy's mind rent free. He can't stop talking about him
DataSlangah
Politicker
1
SAE
I usually duke him a Ben Frank, but Ben looks like Santa Claus because of all the blow I have done off the back of a toilet in the bathroom at the trendiest nightclub in the city. 
paddy
WR Officer
2
Director of Business Development
Funny you mentioned that. I’ve actually lobbied for congress to replace Ben with my beautiful face
JDialz
Politicker
0
Chief Operating Officer
Hey don’t forget the COOs too!
Justatitle
Big Shot
0
Account Executive
The plight of a CEO 
sketchysales
Politicker
-1
Sales Manager
bottles of scotch good enough?
paddy
WR Officer
5
Director of Business Development
no wtf can u read
sketchysales
Politicker
0
Sales Manager
well to some scotch is currency so.  ask my boss.
paddy
WR Officer
4
Director of Business Development
See my 4th point:

"They lean on bail bonds for false accusations under strange circumstances. Wouldn’t it be nice if they were stuck in a jib and the only thing that could save them was that crisp Harrison you offered them at the polo club?"

Do you think scotch can help with this?
sketchysales
Politicker
0
Sales Manager
It would depend on the circumstances.  Maybe Lawyer harrison likes scotch more than $50.
BmajoR
Arsonist
4
Account Executive
scotch is expected, it might as well be a KPI at this point 
LordOfWar
Tycoon
0
Blow it up
Giving scotch is like the reverse of money laundering. It impresses more money was spent than it is actually costing.
sketchysales
Politicker
0
Sales Manager
exactly my point 🥃
9

Dan Price on LinkedIn

Discussion
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14

when do you tell your clients the price

Question
13
15

The dreaded price INCREASE!

Discussion
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