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Worst thing that you've done or thats happened to you at a corporate gig, team night out etc

Share your funniest war stories below!

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7
MMMGood
Celebrated Contributor
+10
Senior Account Executive
Personally, I have a good time, but I know how to handle my booze well.Β 

Watched a manager (married) get handsy with another co-worker (also married) on a dance floor...actually it was watched by many. They weren’t exactly hiding it. Not really a β€œfunny” memory. But ya.Β 

Once after an award dinner, the entire sales team, probably 60-70 people, rained down on a local bar that was just getting ready to close. One guy (bartender) left. He reluctantly decides to stay. We drank and partied for the next 4-5 hours. He made an obscene amount of drinks and was nothing short of amazing. Our SVP gave him a $5k tip at the end of the night, on top of the other tips from everyone else. I’d be surprised if he walked away with less than $10k that night in tips.Β 
StringerBell
Politicker
+7
Account Executive
Glad to hear it was worth his while.Β 
AlecBaldwinsHairline
Valued Contributor
+5
SDR Manager
I worked at a place where the top rep's dad was college roommates with our sales manager.

Everyone knew the sales manager was writing contracts from his old contacts when he was a foot soldier and putting them in the dude's name.

The dude would come in everyday for 2 hours, make 20 cold calls and go play golf.

He hit quota at 125%+ month over month.

Our team all got hammered at a Christmas party and someone called him out about it while handing out end of year awards.

"Not all of us can be (NAME REDACTED) and have our dad's friends sell our software for us, but for those that actually do their own work, this is for you!"

It was eventful.
poweredbycaffeine
WR Officer
+9
Bean Juice Drinker | Sales Savant
My buddy got stabbed in the thigh at a late-night diner in Boston. Not much more to the story than it was a total buzz kill and I didn't get to finish my 3am breakie burrito. Edit: the stabby bit was a fork.
funcoupons
WR Officer
+11
that's queen coups to u
Stabbed by a fork will definitely kill the vibe.
TheHypnotist
Opinionated
+2
Sales Manager
I was the only guy on a staff of 6. We all went out for dinner, had a few drinks and went to a disco. It was then, in front of the rest of the lady staff that my female boss (probably about 15 years my senior) said "let me see that finger". She took one of my fingers and proceded to simulate "you know what" in front of everyone else. I was invited to go somewhere more private, like a hotel. I said "but you're married" (and I knew her husband). As the others looked on in shock she said "I have an understanding with my husband, we have our little friends here and there". I pretty much shit a brick and ran away.
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